[Crook32]

In a week and a half I will be starting a DBT group. I have an intake interview on Thursday with the T. I am horrible in groups and am so scared of this DBT group. My wife doesn't think I am going to do well or get anything out of the group. She thinks it is just a waste of money. So I had to ask my parents if they would pay for it because she wouldn't allow it. So that brings extra stress to the situation.

Can anyone give me any insight into what I am in for?

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[HALLIEBETH87]

My DBT group is more of a class than group therapy

Originally Posted by Crook32

In a week and a half I will be starting a DBT group. I have an intake interview on Thursday with the T. I am horrible in groups and am so scared of this DBT group. My wife doesn't think I am going to do well or get anything out of the group. She thinks it is just a waste of money. So I had to ask my parents if they would pay for it because she wouldn't allow it. So that brings extra stress to the situation.

I'm sorry that your wife isn't feeling very supportive of your participation in a DBT group, but good for you for making your own decision about what you need. I personally think that there can be BIG differences in DBT groups. Check and see if the group you plan to attend is run by therapists who are trained and certified by Dr. Marsha Linehan's institute. If they're just trained by a 1 or 2 day local seminar the chances of the therapist's running the group not being really versed in how to run a "true" DBT program is slim. I'm not saying you won't still get something out of the group, but the chance of you really getting your money's worth is slimmer.

Just so you know, a well-run DBT group is nothing like psychodynamic group therapy. DBT groups are very structured and like Hallibeth posted, it's more like a class than a talk therapy group where everyone "shares" and "crosstalk" is allowed. In DBT you'll be given the DBT workbook and you'll work through the modules in a planned and methodical manner. You'll have homework after each session and you'll come back to group and talk about how you used the skills taught. You'll learn how to do a behavior chain--really indepth look at what triggers you, how you responded to the trigger and how you "thought" during that triggering situation and what DBT skill you used and how that worked for you. Sometimes a behavioral chain is tedious, but I really encourage you to dig in and do them. They are excellent at teaching us how we personally respond in a way that can escalate our emotional upset; for me, how I seem to set-up camp in my Emotional Mind and forget that I even have a Wise Mind, capable of helping me validate my emotions but also stay rational enough to find a way out of my emotional quagmire.

A well run DBT group also provides individual therapy with a DBT trained therapist and a coaching hot line for group participants to call 24/7 when they get into a difficult situation. The coaching hot line is for discussing the difficult situation and the coach/therapist will coach you through using your DBT skills to ride the emotional wave and reinstate a more stable frame of mind.

The one thing I would say to you is that learning the new DBT skills is difficult. It's learning ways that often runs contrary to what you're used to doing when you're in an emotional meltdown. If you can, stick with it. Don't give up in frustration. Many people take a DBT group more than once before they feel comfortable and capable in using their new skills. Thing is, it can work! Maybe not everyone is happy with DBT but for some people, it literally saves their lives. Good luck!

[NowhereUSA]

I pretty much echo what JayBird said. I did DBT twice - not because it wasn't effective, but because there were six years in between and I was going through a rough patch and felt like the structure and refresher would do me good (and it did).

DBT is a lot of *how* - it's about bringing awareness to parts of our lives and then learning how to cope, handle, and deal with those areas effectively.

I'll add, I despise groups. If someone suggested actual group therapy I'd run the other direction. DBT isn't like that. It's very structured and its goal is to teach you to do the skills. There are rules governing what can be talked about so that no one is triggered (in my group we called our personal things "target behaviors" if they were triggering). The triggering stuff is handled one on one with a DBT trained T.

For my group a typical week went like this - We'd come in, do a mindfulness activity, and then talk about our homework - usually you practice a skill that you learned about the week before and talk about it, how it went, if there were things that interfered with your ability to use the skill. Each person probably spends about five-ten minutes tops talking about their homework.

From there, we'd take a break and then talk about the skill for the upcoming week. Mostly it would be the facilitators talking with us listening and asking questions as needed or offering examples if they asked for them.

Also, during the week, I'd meet with my T and we'd go over the skills in more depth, my diary card for example, and discuss my target behaviors.

Overall it was incredibly validating and supportive. I really really liked my DBT experiences both times.