Sitting outside my doc's office,waiting on my ride, and I had a once in 31 years experience today. I had answered a question from my doc, looking at the floor as I always do, and I kept waiting for him to respond. I finally looked up and saw that his eyes were closed and his head tilted down on the right.

As I've never had a therapist fall asleep during a session, I had a short panic attack when I realized that I didn't know what therapist etiquette would suggest. I had a feeling that it would be rude to try to awaken him... that it would be too embarrassing for both of us. So I decided to quietly roll out.

There was a problem, however, because there was no space on either side of his huge quadriplegic wheelchair for me to pass, even in my tiny Quickie chair. It was an awkward moment.

A let another 5 minutes or so pass and then I just pulled on his sleeve and he woke up... looking as if he was having a panic attack. He immediately started apologizing and I immediately went in soothing comfort mode. We caught up with one another and started where we left off. But he was really sheepish throughout the remainder of the session and kept apologizing as I made a new appointment and left the offices.

So now I'm waiting on my ride, happy that I brought my iPad with me, wondering just how much I can use it before before hitting my 2GB data limit (using an iPad on LTE is new to me and I know that my plan with AT&T is cheap and crappy) and I'm wondering if I did the right thing. I'm thinking that if there's a guide to therapy/therapist etiquette that I need one. And if there's not such a guide that maybe I could gather experiences, both mine and a collection from others, and publish it as a free eBook.

I may be crazy but I think that a free eBook that covered everything from what to expect at your first appointment, first hospitalization, etc. going forward, might be helpful.

I should have just whipped out my iPhone and jumped on here and asked for quick replies: has your therapist ever fallen asleep when you were in session? If so, how did you deal with it or what is the best response?

So... think that I did the right thing or not? If I had been having a different kind of day I may have had a completely different reaction.

What about the etiquette guide?

-------

3-4 hours later

Or close to it. I'm in a panic attack that won't end. BP 122/78 but 93 pulse. Not really feeling my pacemaker.

Rats. Still in full panic attack. I've been avoiding looking at the side effects of my psych drugs but generic IR Seroquel has irregular or fast pulse listed as a side effect. I start 800mg Seroquel tonight, up from 600mg. I just called and made an appointment with my cardiologist – I missed my last appointment. Really bad nausea.

100/72 with pulse at exactly 100. Tachycardia. This is recent, scary and I'm not on any medication for it. I'll check my pulse every 30 minutes. I think that my Apple Watch is supposed to measure pulse rate but I only know how to operate as a watch.

Wow. It's so easy. But it went from 88, 92,94,92. And it matches my Omron cuff exactly. I'm going to have to read the manual. Sorry for the running dialog. I need to feel as if I'm talking to someone. I didn't know that there were chat areas here until this morning. Maybe I should check them out. 97, 92,91.

Loopy. About to lose it. I told my doc a secret today after I woke him up. Maybe two secrets. I don't remember. I don't know if I told one here or not. Maybe three secrets. I'll find somewhere else to write about that, another forum.

I want this msg to just convey the title, ask if it has happened to others, ask if I did the right thing, ask what you've done or would do in the same situation and ask if anyone knows of a kind of therapy etiquette guide.

I need to try to calm down.

[Skeezyks]

Hello ciderguy: I hope you are feeling better. Gee... I've had some odd experiences with therapists. But I can't come close to topping this! It sounds to me as though you handled a difficult situation well. No, I don't know of any therapy etiquette guides. It's a good idea!

[kecanoe]

I think you did the right thing. Major awkwardness!

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by kecanoe

I think you did the right thing. Major awkwardness!

I think another member "cryst" has had same experience. She is under the BPD forum. She might be able to give you some insight.

[growlycat]

Hope your T makes up the time for you! Should not be charging you for his naps.

[Sarah1985]

I had a therapist fall asleep during a session. I coughed, and said, hey you fell asleep.. She changed the subject. I went and told my pysch dr at the time and started seeing a new therapist. Falling asleep is not acceptable and shouldn't be tolerated, unless of course a medical issue that wouldn't happen again. But still, it was so hurtful. Hugs to you.

[RedSun]

Hugs if you want them ciderguy, that sounds so difficult. I don't think the is a therapy etiquette guide, or certainly not one that covers what to do if your T falls asleep! Sounds like you handled it really well though, and T owes you an apology really...

Yes, in my younger years, a therapist I saw for a short time fell asleep in our session. He was teaching me progressive relaxation and I wasn't really struggling with it. My entire body was in a knot of tight muscles (totally contrary to what the tape was instructing). My therapist didn't say anything so I opened one eye to peek at him and there he was in all his glory, snoozing away. I didn't wake him up, he finally lifted his head. I never mentioned it but I didn't go back. I wasn't making much money back then and it infuriated me that I was paying someone to sleep. It sounds as though you have a good relationship with your therapist so leaving might not what you want to do. If he doesn't keep doing it and he certainly feels bad that it happened, you might want to chalk it up to a one time thing.

Sure hope you're feeling better. I have sudden bouts of tachycardia too--not really related to anxiety though. I'm lucky though I don't really feel them. Hope your doc is able to help!

[doogie]

I'm so sorry. I've never had that experience, but I can only imagine the awkwardness. Just remember YOU did nothing wrong. This is ALL on your T. It has nothing to do with you as a person or the worth and value of what you were saying or what you mean to him. I'm really sorry this happened.

[Fruitytooty]

Theres literally a book called the users guide to therapy
I am just starting it but I really like it so far and it has great reviews.
You can find it on amazon.

[Mike_J]

If my therapist ever nodded off during a session I think I would just curl up on her sofa and try a little nap myself. Nothing like sleeping with your therapist

Originally Posted by Fruitytooty

Theres literally a book called the users guide to therapy

I am just starting it but I really like it so far and it has great reviews.

You can find it on amazon.

I'm going there now!

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Chummy]

I've never had a T falling asleep during an appointment. If it would ever happen, I would want to say that I would throw a glass of water on his/her head, but I'm probably to chicken for that. I think I would yell ''wake up'', say some things like ''this is not acceptable'' and walk out.

I think you did the right thing. Though in my opinion you couldn't really do something wrong in this situation. You shouldn't have to worry about your reaction in this situation, you're pdoc should be the one to think and think about this and make sure this will never happen again.

Originally Posted by Jaybird57

Yes, in my younger years, a therapist I saw for a short time fell asleep in our session. He was teaching me progressive relaxation and I wasn't really struggling with it. My entire body was in a knot of tight muscles (totally contrary to what the tape was instructing). My therapist didn't say anything so I opened one eye to peek at him and there he was in all his glory, snoozing away. I didn't wake him up, he finally lifted his head. I never mentioned it but I didn't go back. I wasn't making much money back then and it infuriated me that I was paying someone to sleep. It sounds as though you have a good relationship with your therapist so leaving might not what you want to do. If he doesn't keep doing it and he certainly feels bad that it happened, you might want to chalk it up to a one time thing.


Sure hope you're feeling better. I have sudden bouts of tachycardia too--not really related to anxiety though. I'm lucky though I don't really feel them. Hope your doc is able to help!

Yes, I go like him and the thought of switching T's is too stressful. I just thought it odd and, as I wrote, I panicked.

Thanks to for the kudos from everyone. With all the stuff that I've had going on lately it feels good to have made a a right decision. I started to try to let some other free here last might but I don't think that I did. I need to write about about some other things that I told him.

Thank you so much, guys.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

when I was a young teen my other use to take me to Freud clones, and two of them fell asleep on me. I never said a word to them. When they woke up they would call my mom in and tell her I wouldn't talk. As soon as I got in the car, she would start to kvetching.

If it happened now I would probably tolerate it once or twice with some explanation, but if it continued to happen I would exit. I would also ask to be compensated with a free session when it happens, because it's a business deal.

My first reaction would have been concern about his health because of his disability issues. I would have wanted to make sure he was just sleeping and not something health-wise going on. Sounds like he felt badly about it. Wonder what happened?

[doyoutrustme]

Its not a common occurrence, but it is definitely a known phenomenon that has been analyzed to death if you do a web search. Some even consider it to be a part of transference/counter transference that could be learned from. Of course, he could just be really overdoing it.

[TishaBuv]

Honestly, it would have really upset me and I probably would have taken it personally and started crying. I really feel bad that it happened to you, knowing how much you have been going through.

But wouldn't it have been funny to just draw a mustache on him with his pen?

Originally Posted by Chummy

I've never had a T falling asleep during an appointment. If it would ever happen, I would want to say that I would throw a glass of water on his/her head, but I'm probably to chicken for that. I think I would yell ''wake up'', say some things like ''this is not acceptable'' and walk out.


I think you did the right thing. Though in my opinion you couldn't really do something wrong in this situation. You shouldn't have to worry about your reaction in this situation, you're pdoc should be the one to think and think about this and make sure this will never happen again n.

Oh, I had a more than a few, very anxious, ever so angry couple of moments as I sat there in silence, waiting for him to awaken. I was between anger and hilarity of the situation... I just wanted to get out with no awkwardness.

And, as my van driver drove back to the house, I kept going back those moments in my mind, sitting in the office, sitting there with in a "what if" meandering.

Thanks for all the tips... I'll return here, or some other forum, to that accepts psychotic rants of about my demented stepmother and psychodramas in as person.

Thank you, all you Who's.

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[lizardlady]

Ciderguy, I believe you did the right thing waking your T. You said you have a good relationship with him. Maybe next session you could talk about your reaction and the subsequent panic attack. I'm going to echo what others have said, you did NOTHING wrong.

I thought this emoticon was appropriate... just keep breathing/swimming. It's going to be alright.

[AllHeart]

With my t... If it happened once, I'd put her blanket on her and watch her for a bit. Cuz I can be weird like that. If it happened twice, I'd b**tch slap her out of it.

[SearchingforMe]

I think, in that guide to therapy etiquette, thereally should be a part where you react to a therapist getting your life mixed up with someone else..... (happened to me)
Also pausing to figure out what lawyer she could send you to who wouldn't be "put off" by you....... ( also happened to me)
I stopped seeing both of them, but the first one, it was because she told me I wouldn't be able to reach my goals, not because she forgot something. That is just being human, but it still can make you feel bad.

I want to know if I am just difficult, or if I did the right thing quitting those two counselors, but I think even if I did them"wrong" thing, I just couldn't make myself go back after that. So maybe there is no "proper etiquette" in this case.....just what is right for you.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by dancinglady

I think another member "cryst" has had same experience. She is under the BPD forum. She might be able to give you some insight.

Hi,

Yea - my therapist seems to have made this a regular habit recently. As she is also the supervisor of all the therapists in that facility there is really not much I can do about it in regards to reporting her - so, I just decide to make the most of it. I talk to her while she decides to remain awake, but then once she falls asleep I simply start scheduling things out in my head or thinking problems through logically that ordinarily I could not for reasons of being aggravated by someone or something while trying to think. She gave me her number long ago though too, so I call her at tines - but recently she has stopped returning those too. So yea, I think, its a matter of what you want and why you think the therapist did it and if you think it will happen again. I don't think there is a true etiquette for that - other than they aren't supposed to do it in the first place.

You can wake them immediately. Wait for them to wake. Wait for your appointment time to be over and wake them. Wait for your appointment time to be over and just leave (without waking them). Just leave right then. Use the time to do something else. Report them. Get extremely angry and yell when they wake (no violence though). Talk rationally about how you felt about it when they wake. Just ignore the situation once they wake. Quit going to them. Keep going to them and see how things go.

All of those things are your choices, and none are "wrong" or "irrational". The best answer is: you do what's best for you, that's all any of us can do. I can tell you, it's one of the most aggravating things a therapist can do.

[Yoda]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

But wouldn't it have been funny to just draw a mustache on him with his pen?

....

[SearchingforMe]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

Hi,

Yea - my therapist seems to have made this a regular habit recently. As she is also the supervisor of all the therapists in that facility there is really not much I can do about it in regards to reporting her - so, I just decide to make the most of it. I talk to her while she decides to remain awake, but then once she falls asleep I simply start scheduling things out in my head or thinking problems through logically that ordinarily I could not for reasons of being aggravated by someone or something while trying to think. She gave me her number long ago though too, so I call her at tines - but recently she has stopped returning those too. So yea, I think, its a matter of what you want and why you think the therapist did it and if you think it will happen again. I don't think there is a true etiquette for that - other than they aren't supposed to do it in the first place.

You can wake them immediately. Wait for them to wake. Wait for your appointment time to be over and wake them. Wait for your appointment time to be over and just leave (without waking them). Just leave right then. Use the time to do something else. Report them. Get extremely angry and yell when they wake (no violence though). Talk rationally about how you felt about it when they wake. Just ignore the situation once they wake. Quit going to them. Keep going to them and see how things go.

All of those things are your choices, and none are "wrong" or "irrational". The best answer is: you do what's best for you, that's all any of us can do. I can tell you, it's one of the most aggravating things a therapist can do.

Crypts, is she the owner of the facility? Or the director? Maybe there is someone you can report her to. Or you could go to another therapist. I know that is a big hassle, but I hate that she is doing that on your time. Take care.