[ilikecats]

I feel like my T betrayed me and I don't know what to do. Last Tuesday she called the cops on me and sent me to the hospital. We had a session and when I got there, I started to take off my jacket, but my cardigan slipped with it, and she saw my arm and saw that I had cut. She was worried about the depth, and about my suicidal thoughts, and so she wanted me to go to the hospital. I didn't want to go and didn't think I needed to, and I told her this repeatedly, but she insisted. Eventually she started to call the police, so I just walked out and went to my car to drive away. I told her I hated her. She called my mom and told her about everything, despite telling me in the past that she wouldn't tell my mom about the cutting behind my back. She found out where I was through my mom, and she sent the police there. Then they took me to the hospital. I was there for about six days, and just got out today. And now I have an appointment with my T tomorrow at noon.

I feel really conflicted about my T. Before all of this happened, I totally adored her. But now I feel like she betrayed me, and I'm really angry with her. But I also miss her, which kinda pisses me off. I also feel like I can't trust her anymore, and like if I ever tell her about cutting or suicidal thoughts in the future, she'll just send me to the hospital. I don't know what to do, and I'm nervous about seeing her tomorrow. I'm not sure what I'm looking for by posting this. Just any advice or insights people might have would be helpful.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

The best thing, I think is to tell her everything you have written here. Its ok to express anger to your therapist as long as its in a healthy way. See what she says. Often I will talk to my T about something that I didn't like what she did and she gave me an insight and understanding and it wasn't how I was thinking about it at all.

[LonesomeTonight]

First, I completely understand your sense of betrayal.

I can't recall--are you under 18? If not, she shouldn't have been able to tell your parents.

I think she's just trying to keep you safe. Have you hidden cutting from her before? Just wondering if she thought you were going to hide it rather than be honest with her. You should tell her what you said in this post, that you're having trouble trusting her now. Because if you can't trust her, then she probably won't be too helpful as a T.

Are you a minor? If not I would be concerned about her telling your mom everything. It sounds like she could have handled it more collaboratively with you. I think your anger is valid, and I hope it leads to greater communication between you and T about the best way to handle this kind of situation.

[junkDNA]

My T called the cops on me on Christmas eve 2012 and they came to my apartment and put ankle shackles on me and cuffed my hands behind my back and hauled me away. I was severely psychotic and suicidal because I couldn't take the voices anymore. If he hadn't have done that then I'd be dead right now... so essentially he saved my life. He came to the emergency room and I just said **** you...I was pretty mad but I feel grateful now that he did that. It shows that he cares... can you look at it that way? That your T was concerned about your wellbeing and cared enough to keep you safe?

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[yagr]

For me, involuntary commitment is the kiss of death. But that's me. Like junkDNA above me said, he could have saved your life. What's more important than that to you? If you want people who care about you enough to risk losing your love in order to keep you safe, then perhaps you should consider forgiving him.

Like I said, for me - it would have ended my relationship with him and I'd never go to therapy again. But even I know that's pretty extreme.

[Nammu]

I think you should see the T if for nothing else to talk about what happened and your feelings about it all.

I am so sorry. I can understand. My t did that to me once when i was dissociated and couldnt get grounded. Instead of trying to help, she just called the police. I felt so humiliated. I felt betrayed too.

[kecanoe]

T1 called the cops on me once after I walked (well, stormed) out of his office. I managed to talk the cops out of taking me to the psych hosp, but I was still pretty mad at T. My name was announced over the police scanner, so at least one person I know heard that I was suicidal.
He thought he was doing the right thing; he was truly scared for me. We talked about it afterward with me telling him how mad I was. In the end we had to agree to disagree.

[seoultous]

There is a legal duty to warn that allows a therapist to breach confidentiality. If the client, for example, poses an imminent threat to either herself, the therapist, or a third party. Then the necessary information must be divulged to someone who is capable of taking action to reduce the threat. In your case the threat was to yourself but the therapist could contact your parents or another person since they might likely be able to reduce the threat of violence against yourself. In your case, you were located with your parent's help. In most cases law enforcement would be notified. In your case it was.

I think the therapist acted according to her best understanding of the situation. Unfortunately, she might have overreacted in your eyes.

Best wishes as you sort this out.

I'm sorry this happened.
How awful to be taken by the police.
I hope you make up with your T.
Please get better soon.

i had the police called on me once not by my psychologist but a stranger because i was standing in the middle of the road. anyway i found the police to be nicer than the people at the hospital they not to pushy and kept their distance the hospital staff made me very upset. anyway sorry for talking about me i hope you find a way to sort things out with your T and i think it is completely understandable you feel betrayed.

[ilikecats]

Thanks for your responses everyone! Some people asked about my age, and I'm 19. Also, I do understand that my T was trying to keep me safe. But I feel like she was overreacting and I wasn't a danger to myself at the time. Anyways, I'll be seeing her tomorrow, so hopefully it goes well!

[mandehble]

Good luck and if you feel like it, do let us know how it goes!

Originally Posted by ilikecats

Thanks for your responses everyone! Some people asked about my age, and I'm 19. Also, I do understand that my T was trying to keep me safe. But I feel like she was overreacting and I wasn't a danger to myself at the time. Anyways, I'll be seeing her tomorrow, so hopefully it goes well!

Seen as you are an adult, I think it would be a good idea to review your contract with your therapist regarding confidentiality. If you don't want your mom involved, your T needs to respect that, and ensuring a written contract reflects that is a good idea.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

Seen as you are an adult, I think it would be a good idea to review your contract with your therapist regarding confidentiality. If you don't want your mom involved, your T needs to respect that, and ensuring a written contract reflects that is a good idea.

Did you have your parents down as emergency contacts? If so, could be why he told them, but you should still clarify. And if there's someone else you'd rather he contact (friend, other relative, etc.), you could probably set that up.

[ilikecats]

Thanks guys! I saw her today and it went well. In response to some of what you guys said, my T said she told my mom because she was so worried about my safety, but normally she doesn't do that. And she asked if I wanted to sign a release form so that in the future she can talk to my mom without breaking confidentiality, and I did sign it. Because now that my mom knows, there's no point in not telling her stuff in the future. And yes, I did put her as my emergency contact. Anyways, I think we're going to be able to get over this and fix our trust and our relationship, which I'm happy about. Thanks for all the support!

[Nammu]

Glad to hear it went well.

[CantExplain]

((ILikeCats))

I feel your T overreacted. But she only has to underreact once, and she loses the patient forever. That death would be on her conscience for the rest of her life.

Maybe your T has already lost a patient in this way? (You could ask her.) I wouldn't blame her for overreacting after that.

[December2015]

What do you think ? Did going to the hospital help you ? Trust is the key here and that works both ways . I would need to know that outside of disclosing a plan to suicide my T would not pull rank and do something that would so seriously limit my freedom . As the others have said share your feeling betrayed and angry . Who wouldn't . Therapy is collaborative from my perspective . T should have helped you make the decision that you both felt was in your best interests .

[Bipolar Warrior]

I'm really sorry you went through this, but I'm glad you are working things out now.