Needing a mental break?

dj315 · Feb 21, 2016 at 12:04 AM

This might not be a big deal, but I'm a little torn...

I am in my last semester of college and have a part time job, so naturally I've been overwhelmed and run down over the past few weeks. I honestly just need a mental break and was thinking about cancelling my session this week. Nothing against my T. It's just that the thought of going in and talking about feelings for an hour is not appealing right now. I mean it's never appealing, but I feel like I mentally cannot handle it this week. You probably know what I mean.

I wouldn't have any qualms about this if I hadn't already scheduled a session for Tuesday. If I had just said last week that I didn't want to meet this week, I wouldn't have felt guilty at all. Is it fine to cancel a session only two days before it's supposed to happen just because I don't feel like going? I know I can technically do whatever I want, but I have always respected appointment times, even if I didn't want to go.

In case it isn't obvious, I am an absolute people pleaser.

stopdog · Feb 21, 2016 at 12:05 AM

I cancel when I don't want to go. I give enough notice and don't worry about it.

Feb 21, 2016 at 12:07 AM

I think cancelling is fine. I think it is plenty of notice.

stopdog · Feb 21, 2016 at 12:09 AM

Has the therapist given a preference for cancellation notice? 24 hours or 48 etc?

dj315 · Feb 21, 2016 at 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Has the therapist given a preference for cancellation notice? 24 hours or 48 etc?

24 hours. I know it'll be enough advance notice in that regard. It's just the "there's no reason except I don't want to deal with my emotions this week so I'm gonna cancel" that I am hesitant about. There's a 99.9% chance that he won't care at all, but I always feel bad cancelling on anyone. Again--people pleaser.

stopdog · Feb 21, 2016 at 12:19 AM

Perhaps then look at this as a practice for not trying to please someone. Particularly since the therapist is likely not to mind.

emlou019 · Feb 21, 2016 at 06:14 AM

I just recently had a 'break' from counselling after a year. I felt the same way as you, I hate the feeling of letting people down. Makes me anxious. But I'm really pleased I took the time for myself. It did me good.

Maybe you should go to the session this time, explain how you are feeling with your t. Sometimes when I really dont feel like going, they are more productive. Maybe it might help with the feelings of being overwhelmed and being run down.

SoupDragon · Feb 21, 2016 at 06:32 AM

I have been encouraged to discuss with T about cancelling, before I do cancel. I know that feeling of not wanting to go when I have lots on, but maybe those times are also important? Well that's what my T says.

AnxiousGirl · Feb 21, 2016 at 10:06 AM

I felt as if I read something I wrote. I'm in my 2nd year of college and during exams I was feeling really overwhelmed + I was just going through some rough patches mentally so I just emailed T maybe 2-3 days before and said that I did not want to come in because I was having a rough week and I didn't think it would benefit either one of us if I did come in. My T asked what happened but also let me reschedule to the following week. I think it's perfectly fine to cancel the session if you arent motivated to talk about what needs to be discussed because then it'll be a waste of time and money.

I think I've cancelled maybe once because of that and tried a few other times but my T insisted I go in and talk about what was going on, and 3 because I was genuinely feeling unwell !

stopdog · Feb 21, 2016 at 11:19 AM

I would not do well with a therapist who tried to insist I do anything. In fact, I simply would not regardless of their attempt at insistence. Who is the therapist to get to insist upon anything at me. I never found it useful to go if I did not want to do so. I know others report it is useful for them. Perhaps OP could try it both ways and see the difference and how it seems -but without trying out both options, how would one know?

dj315 · Feb 21, 2016 at 07:37 PM

I've definitely tried going in and talking even when I don't feel like it. Most times it's ended up being when I needed it the most (mostly when I'm going through a season of hating therapy for everything it is and wanting to stop for a longer period of time). However, there have been sessions where I waste both of our times because I'm emotionally locked down. T would never say I wasted his time, but I don't see how staring at the floor and wall more than talking is useful. Anyway, I do feel like I would be useless this week. I like what Anxiousgirl said: it's not really useful to waste time and money if I'm not motivated to talk about things (and I'm not right now).

Feb 21, 2016 at 07:49 PM

IMHO, I don't see anything wrong with taking a break. This is a one time thing. If it was continuous I would access if I am avoiding something or if I just want space away from therapy.

stopdog · Feb 21, 2016 at 07:58 PM

I do not believe a client can waste a therapist's time - the therapist gets paid for the time the client is there.

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Needing a mental break?

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stopdog underdog is here Member Since Sep 2011 Location: blank Posts: 35,049 (SuperPoster!) 13 1 hugs given	Feb 21, 2016 at 12:05 AM #2 I cancel when I don't want to go. I give enough notice and don't worry about it. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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Anonymous37890 Guest Posts: n/a	Feb 21, 2016 at 12:07 AM #3 I think cancelling is fine. I think it is plenty of notice.
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stopdog underdog is here Member Since Sep 2011 Location: blank Posts: 35,049 (SuperPoster!) 13 1 hugs given	Feb 21, 2016 at 12:09 AM #4 Has the therapist given a preference for cancellation notice? 24 hours or 48 etc? __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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SoupDragon Elder Member Since Oct 2010 Location: in a cave Posts: 6,977 14 1,099 hugs given	Feb 21, 2016 at 06:32 AM #8 I have been encouraged to discuss with T about cancelling, before I do cancel. I know that feeling of not wanting to go when I have lots on, but maybe those times are also important? Well that's what my T says. __________________ Soup
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Anonymous37785 Guest Posts: n/a	Feb 21, 2016 at 07:49 PM #12 IMHO, I don't see anything wrong with taking a break. This is a one time thing. If it was continuous I would access if I am avoiding something or if I just want space away from therapy.
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stopdog underdog is here Member Since Sep 2011 Location: blank Posts: 35,049 (SuperPoster!) 13 1 hugs given	Feb 21, 2016 at 07:58 PM #13 I do not believe a client can waste a therapist's time - the therapist gets paid for the time the client is there. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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