[Petra5ed]

In some ways I'm doing better, but therapy has become too painful. My last 4ish sessions I couldn't stop from crying and had no reason to be crying. And when I leave I cry all night and sometimes even the day (or two or four) after. I mean like, cry my eyes out, because I cry several times a day no matter what... but therapy puts me in a deep funk lately. And it's all because I no longer have that fantasy that my therapist actually loves me. I needed that to be true. Does this get better, or is it time for me to move on to the next person who cant love me either? Or maybe I'm just meant to be alone, and I need to become like a happy loner who doesn't need any human connection at all to be happy?

I wish I had some sagely advice, but therapy is incredible painful for me too. Hope things get better!

[missbella]

I don't think the success or stress of a therapy relationship indicates or predicts the course of the rest of our lives. I don't see it as a defining metaphor. Therapy is a singular and staged relationship after all.

My experience is my own, but living my pain in therapy didn't deliver me to another side--it only taught me bad emotional habits. Mileage varies, of course.

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by Petra5ed

In some ways I'm doing better, but therapy has become too painful. My last 4ish sessions I couldn't stop from crying and had no reason to be crying. And when I leave I cry all night and sometimes even the day (or two or four) after. I mean like, cry my eyes out, because I cry several times a day no matter what... but therapy puts me in a deep funk lately. And it's all because I no longer have that fantasy that my therapist actually loves me. I needed that to be true. Does this get better, or is it time for me to move on to the next person who cant love me either? Or maybe I'm just meant to be alone, and I need to become like a happy loner who doesn't need any human connection at all to be happy?

Have you become attached to your T? My apologies if I've missed something in a previous post...If you've become or are attached to your T, talking about the feelings of attachment can sometimes help. Does your T know how you've been reacting to your last sessions? I feel deeply sorry you're going through so much pain. There's a reason you're so sad/depressed - perhaps it isn't totally that you no longer have the fantasy your therapist loves you - maybe more than that? I wish I could help.

I react by being exhausted - sometimes for days after the session.