[ilikecats]

Sometimes I worry that my T doesn't really care about me. She's said a couple of times that I'm too risky to do outpatient stuff with her without getting more support. This makes me worry that maybe she doesn't really care about me, but just about her job. Because if I attempted suicide or cut too deep and accidentally bled out, it wouldn't look good for her. But maybe she really just cares about me dying. She's said a lot that she cares about me, and one time she even said she cares about me and adores me, but I just worry that maybe she doesn't. She won't hug me, though she does do high fives. And sometimes she goes over time for me when I need it. She also texts and talks to me on the phone. But I just can't shake the feeling that maybe it's all for the sake of her job or something and that she doesn't actually care about me as a person. What do you think? Do you ever worry about this with your T? How can I feel better about this? How can a person know for a fact that another person truly cares about them?

[stopdog]

I do not worry about it with the therapist. I actually do not think you can know for a fact almost anything about another human. Generally speaking - those therapist guys say they care and so why not believe them if doing so makes you feel better. I don't mean that flippantly - but rather why not, if caring is important to you and the therapist has said she does, take her at her word until she gives you reason to disbelieve her. There will never be a guarantee and caring does not mean they won't do something or things that are annoying or that they will never change or anything like that - I think caring needs to be looked at in a sort of realistic fashion, and with therapists it is a professional caring sort of way.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I have had the same feelings you are feeling. What made me feel better and stop questioning if she cared or not was that I can see the care in her actions. Actions speak louder than words. She shows me how much she cares. I would rather see it in her actions than to hear it all the time. Don't get me wrong, I love to hear it and she does say it often but I can really, really see it in what she does and before I didn't.

I think she does really care and it scares her because it affects her ability to asses your situation. She worries that you are too risky and perhaps feels she is not enough for you, is she able to give you the care you need.

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[luvnola]

I would think most ts care about their clients; why else do the job. I used to teach school. I cared about my students, wanted them to do well, be safe and so forth. I couldn't have taught if I didn't care about them. I've always assumed my t cares in that way.

It's because she cares about you that she makes comments about your needing more support than just her. I'm sure she is more concerned about you dying than how it would look. Oh, and if she didn't care, she wouldn't put in the time with texts and phone calls. Everything you say in your post makes it clear, to me at least, that she does indeed care about you.

[atisketatasket]

I don't see why you oppose job and caring so absolutely. Would it help to think her job is to care? As someone else said, like teachers.