Lost trust in T

I’ve said some of this in another post but this is more like an update I guess.
I’d been seeing my T for going on two years I really liked my T thought we were getting somewhere or felt like I was. I have a generalized anxiety were I don’t befriend people on the basis that they’re going to die and the emotional blow will be to much for me. That stems from childhood relationships and I guess a bad hand of cards because I had a good amount of friends die before I ever graduated high school. That being said I felt like I was connected with my therapist and that we even had some past history similarities, which made it easier to bond. After two years I really thought that I was bonded with him and could tell him anything.
This brings me to the last session I had with him and in summary I really just wanted to get the heck away from him by the end of it. Most sessions I’m a pretty easygoing client I’m good at keeping control of myself saying what I needed to addressing it as such and moving on from it. I usually don’t come into a session distraught but my last session I was having some very bad generalized anxiety because my bf was taking a trip to NY and had left earlier that day. So I came into the session almost on the verge of a panic attack and I thought that he would be better at helping me through it but in summary he seemed annoyed uncaring disinterested and spent the entire session repeating him-self about what anxiety is. He even at one point said well you’ve had a panic attack before and you didn’t die so what do you think will happen if you have one now. Perhaps on any other day I wouldn’t have looked at that phrase as much of anything but being as anxious as I was it just made me feel ten times worse and everything he said seemed to make my anxiety worse.
I left the session and got in my car thinking that my bf had left me to go to NY for the next 7 days and the person I THOUGHT I was connected with or had some sort of relationship with could careless about how I was feeling or if I was going to be all right. I don’t want to go back to another session with him after this. I feel like any progress I’ve made with him has been shattered. They say your always building trust but you can lose it all in a moment and I honestly feel that way now. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Has this happened to anyone before? Did you go back or just switch to a different therapist?

I don't have any advice for this but I can imagine how confusing it would be. I would go back and express my frustrations/concerns over what had happened and how it made me feel. I hope you and your T can resolve this.

I would try out some new ones so there was a comparison point.

I'm sorry your T said those things to you. That sounds awfully confusing, and I know I would be hurt. I'm not sure I believe, though, that trust can be lost in an instant. Maybe it can--your experience is your experience and it's not for me to contradict--but for me, personally, trust is more an ongoing negotiation. My T disappointed me greatly last week. And, yes, I do feel less close to him and may not even return. But this doesn't retroactively delegitimate all the times he was there for me. I can hold on to those and feel better about the relationship as a whole. Maybe thinking about those kinds of times, in addition to talking to your T about this, will help restore your trust.

Best of luck & I hope you feel better.

This sounds painful. If I were you, I'd consider taking a break for a while and sorting out how I feel -- right now, it sounds like T was great before and awful now? Perhaps there's some middle ground? As in, maybe he wasn't so great before? And, concomitantly, maybe he's not so awful now?

But yeah, also maybe it could help to list out the qualities you'd like in a therapist and then see if T matches up to them or not (and the extent to which he does / doesn't)?

You say he seemed?
I know when I feel a sense of urgency. I tend to want T to respond with the same energy.
I've had similar sessions. But when it's passed, I realize perhaps my perception and expectations were a trigger response.
You say your boyfriend had gone away, perhaps it was easier to feel T was the uncaring one?
I don't know. All I do know is therapy is brilliant for coming to understand such sessions