This week was my first week back with t1 after her bereavement. She was very vulnerable and it was nice to see her vulnerability for a change. I asked how she was and gave my condolences. T was really honest and said that she was very upset and shared lots about her family. I learned a little more of her story and perhaps an insight as to why she can be so harsh at times. It's no excuse but she admits it's part of her.

After we talked about t she said now about you, how are you and what's been happening. I began by telling her trivial things as I wanted to protect her because it's her first session back. Then something came up about past relationships and I told her a lot that I hadn't shared about my past relationship. I had kept a lot of this inside and hidden from all of my ts. T said she got goosebumps just listening. I told her I suspected my ex to be a psychopath and told her why and com paired it to the symptoms and characteristics of psychopathy.
At the end of the session I felt weird like I was going yo be sick. I started shaking but I wasn't cold. I never experienced this before. T ssked if I was ok? She helped me put my coat on and said you haves a lot today more than before, she asked how it felt. I said I felt fine but she said I didn't look fine that I was shivering. Shed asked where I was going afterwards and would I be ok. I said yes and thank you, she said that's ok my dear.
T never called me dear before and it felt very genuine and I felt close to her for the first time in about six months. It was a really nice session despite all of the trauma being realised.
My question is ddid anyone experience anything similar when talking about traumatic or difficult events in therapy?

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[Out There]

That sounds good Mona , I know you are experiencing some difficulties with both your T's . I've felt all sorts of things when working on trauma - I've felt sick , shaky and numb , experienced body memories. I often wish I had a magic wand when I read about it from other people as well to take it away it's so horrible. Recently I've incorporated Trauma Release Exercises ( TRE ) into my work with mindfulness breathing techniques and find that really helpful. I hope you can find healing and resolution with the therapy issues , I know things don't always go well for you and I think about you often.

Yes I often shiver and shake when talking about my childhood or my mother, particularly to people I don't know especially well (like at uni when we're doing developmental theory and we share what we were like as children) but I don't often shake with T these days and I think that's due to the level of trust I have in him.
Sorry to hear you're having such a turbulent time in therapy at the moment mona, take care of yourself.

Originally Posted by Out There

That sounds good Mona , I know you are experiencing some difficulties with both your T's . I've felt all sorts of things when working on trauma - I've felt sick , shaky and numb , experienced body memories. I often wish I had a magic wand when I read about it from other people as well to take it away it's so horrible. Recently I've incorporated Trauma Release Exercises ( TRE ) into my work with mindfulness breathing techniques and find that really helpful. I hope you can find healing and resolution with the therapy issues , I know things don't always go well for you and I think about you often.

Thank you for your kind words out there ️I have thought about TRE, and often wondered how to incorporate into your therapy. Thank you for sharing your experience of it, I could see how it would work well with mindfulness and breathing techniques(although some of these can retraumatise you)!
If you find that magic wand could you lend it to me
I often wonder why my t who is trained in trauma doesn't do any of these trauma releasing exercises but I guess she has her reasons. I really felt connected to her this week and was hopeful that we could continue our work together! My t has had some very traumatic experiences and I think we bonded this week again.

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Originally Posted by Echos Myron

Yes I often shiver and shake when talking about my childhood or my mother, particularly to people I don't know especially well (like at uni when we're doing developmental theory and we share what we were like as children) but I don't often shake with T these days and I think that's due to the level of trust I have in him.
Sorry to hear you're having such a turbulent time in therapy at the moment mona, take care of yourself.

Echo's do you think that trust is a factor in these reactions? I would like to think it was and I know I have had a lot of issues with trust with this t but this week I felt I really trust her but that the shaking was involuntary and body was reacting and out of my control. At one stage I had to hold my chin up to stop it shaking and t said to just let it happen, not to try and stop it but it felt scary being so out of control with my body and perhaps my body still doesn't trust t.


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Yes, I have physical reactions when talking about past trauma - up to and including dissociation ...

Trauma really does impact our minds, bodies and souls, even after we are no longer in the situations that caused it in the first place!

I feel that each time we process more of the stuff, though, that it heals a little bit of all of it some more.

I'm curious as to how you felt after - that's when I suffer, I tend to feel terrible after woods. Did you feel ok after?

[Bill3]

do you think that trust is a factor in these reactions

When someone else allows themselves to be vulnerable, they are showing trust. That makes it easier to trust them.

My question is did anyone experience anything similar when talking about traumatic or difficult events in therapy?

I have not had the physical manifestations that you describe, but I have had the experience of being able to trust more, and therefore speak more, when someone is vulnerable/trusting with me.

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Echo's do you think that trust is a factor in these reactions? I would like to think it was and I know I have had a lot of issues with trust with this t but this week I felt I really trust her but that the shaking was involuntary and body was reacting and out of my control. At one stage I had to hold my chin up to stop it shaking and t said to just let it happen, not to try and stop it but it felt scary being so out of control with my body and perhaps my body still doesn't trust t.


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I don't know whether trust is a factor in your reactions mona, but all I know about my own reactions is that I can think about the trauma by myself and I can talk a little bit about it with H or T without shaking, but I can't talk about it with anyone else without shaking.
Perhaps trust isn't the right work...perhaps it's about feeling safe.

[JustShakey]

(((Mona)))
I shake like that a lot in therapy. I always bring a cardi to wrap up in

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Originally Posted by Pfrog

Yes, I have physical reactions when talking about past trauma - up to and including dissociation ...

Trauma really does impact our minds, bodies and souls, even after we are no longer in the situations that caused it in the first place!

I feel that each time we process more of the stuff, though, that it heals a little bit of all of it some more.

That's a lovely way to think about it pfrog, healing is almost as hard as the trauma itself! I hope your healing is going well

Originally Posted by Brown Owl

I'm curious as to how you felt after - that's when I suffer, I tend to feel terrible after woods. Did you feel ok after?

I felt terrible in the way home, uncontrollable sobbing and crying. Had to pull over a few times. When I got home it was fine though!
When you say terrible brown owl, do you mean physically or emotionally or perhaps both? Does your t ground you before you leave?

Originally Posted by Bill3

When someone else allows themselves to be vulnerable, they are showing trust. That makes it easier to trust them.

I have not had the physical manifestations that you describe, but I have had the experience of being able to trust more, and therefore speak more, when someone is vulnerable/trusting with me.

Yes this makes sense to me Bill. T was so honest and raw last night that something opened up in me, it's when she pretends she is perfect and not to blame for anything that's when I shut down.

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

I don't know whether trust is a factor in your reactions mona, but all I know about my own reactions is that I can think about the trauma by myself and I can talk a little bit about it with H or T without shaking, but I can't talk about it with anyone else without shaking.
Perhaps trust isn't the right work...perhaps it's about feeling safe.

Perhaps it's a combination of both Echos. Different strokes for different folks. Safety definitely plays a big part with trauma work, without safety and trust it is impossible to share.

Originally Posted by JustShakey

(((Mona)))
I shake like that a lot in therapy. I always bring a cardi to wrap up in

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That's a great idea Shakey, I was sitting beside the radiator and it was still freezing!


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Hi Mona, when I feel terrible after it is an emotional feeling, but also has physical sides to it, like aches in my solar plexus. Me and my T have not done anything particular at the end of sessions. When I feel terrible afterwards it is unexpected, I felt ok in the session. I wish my T would suggest something, but, as you said on my thread (your words stuck with me and were helpful), I need to tell her what I need.

Hi Mona,

I've shook in the chair when talking about traumatic events. Dunno why, probably because of the leap of trust and the difficulty of the memory?

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

This week was my first week back with t1 after her bereavement. She was very vulnerable and it was nice to see her vulnerability for a change. I asked how she was and gave my condolences. T was really honest and said that she was very upset and shared lots about her family. I learned a little more of her story and perhaps an insight as to why she can be so harsh at times. It's no excuse but she admits it's part of her.

After we talked about t she said now about you, how are you and what's been happening. I began by telling her trivial things as I wanted to protect her because it's her first session back. Then something came up about past relationships and I told her a lot that I hadn't shared about my past relationship. I had kept a lot of this inside and hidden from all of my ts. T said she got goosebumps just listening. I told her I suspected my ex to be a psychopath and told her why and com paired it to the symptoms and characteristics of psychopathy.
At the end of the session I felt weird like I was going yo be sick. I started shaking but I wasn't cold. I never experienced this before. T ssked if I was ok? She helped me put my coat on and said you haves a lot today more than before, she asked how it felt. I said I felt fine but she said I didn't look fine that I was shivering. Shed asked where I was going afterwards and would I be ok. I said yes and thank you, she said that's ok my dear.
T never called me dear before and it felt very genuine and I felt close to her for the first time in about six months. It was a really nice session despite all of the trauma being realised.
My question is ddid anyone experience anything similar when talking about traumatic or difficult events in therapy?

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When I talk about traumatic parts of my past (not all of them, but some), my whole body shakes. I feel like I'm shutting down and sometimes I'm become zombie like. The lights are on but no one's home kinda thing. Usually it's because I'm overwhelmed and it's the beginning of my blackout disassociation where my whole body shuts down and I end up fainting/ blacking out. It's an extreme reaction, but it's the only way I seem to 'cope' with the trauma.

I know it's not coping, but it's my body's reaction, not my mind. I don't know or fully understand the concept that our bodies remember things and can react as well as an emotional reaction. But maybe this applies to you? Your body may have reacted as well as your mind. My T has used psychopathic to describe one of my abusers and usually the black outs happen when talking about trauma involving him.

I wish I could've been more helpful.

Originally Posted by Brown Owl

Hi Mona, when I feel terrible after it is an emotional feeling, but also has physical sides to it, like aches in my solar plexus. Me and my T have not done anything particular at the end of sessions. When I feel terrible afterwards it is unexpected, I felt ok in the session. I wish my T would suggest something, but, as you said on my thread (your words stuck with me and were helpful), I need to tell her what I need.

Sometimes it's up to both of you to figure out what you need together. How can you know what you need if you have never experienced it

Originally Posted by QuietMind

Hi Mona,

I've shook in the chair when talking about traumatic events. Dunno why, probably because of the leap of trust and the difficulty of the memory?

Maybe it's different reasons for different people! I am not really sure why I shake, I think it is involuntary though and very embarrassing !

Originally Posted by Anglo

When I talk about traumatic parts of my past (not all of them, but some), my whole body shakes. I feel like I'm shutting down and sometimes I'm become zombie like. The lights are on but no one's home kinda thing. Usually it's because I'm overwhelmed and it's the beginning of my blackout disassociation where my whole body shuts down and I end up fainting/ blacking out. It's an extreme reaction, but it's the only way I seem to 'cope' with the trauma.


I know it's not coping, but it's my body's reaction, not my mind. I don't know or fully understand the concept that our bodies remember things and can react as well as an emotional reaction. But maybe this applies to you? Your body may have reacted as well as your mind. My T has used psychopathic to describe one of my abusers and usually the black outs happen when talking about trauma involving him.


I wish I could've been more helpful.

That was very helpful Anglo thank you! I think it could be more of a body memory which happens when I start talking about what happened! Cognitively I know it's a memory but my body starts to react and I begin to think I am in that moment again. Sometimes t will say it's ok, you are here with me not there with her! The year is 2016 and you are ok now! This helps but the feeling stays in my body for ages afterwards. I get the fight and flight response of freezing and t will ask if she can move closer but I don't hear her sometimes so she has to ask louder and that brings me out of it!


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You're welcome. I saw your tread and saw similarities between us. It sounds like you're disassociating, which I do a lot lol. I don't hear people around me, my eyes glaze over in a glassy stare so I don't see people or movement, and a log of the time I don't realise I've 'gone' until I come back. My T talks to me because it helps bring me back in the room a bit quicker.

And the feeling lingers, I'm tired, sleepy, floaty, sometimes I can be emotional and the shakes can last too. I don't have a lot of info on the body reaction vs the mind, it's something I need to look into myself, but I'm glad I was helpful X

[itjustis]

I tend to shake when we dip into past events and my head feels like it's floating!We discussed a very traumatic topic not long ago and I left my session feeling absolutely drained.

A couple hours later I felt completely out of it and vomited twice! Such a weird experience. I put it down to stress and experiencing such things all over again.

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