[confusedbyself]

I am so not sure where to post this, but must of my posts have been in here and since this is a discussion I am having with my T, I figured I would start here.

I have only been to a medical doctor a few times because of panc it causes, but I have been getting in increasingly bad physical health lately and am feeling it has become a more life/death possibility if I don't get some things checked out.

My T said that he would be glad to talk to the doctor ahead of time and even go to the building with me if I could get myself to go under those circumstances. I don't know that even with that, it is something I could do, but I wanted to at least look at see if there was a list of doctors out there somewhere that are trained or somehow listed as interested in dealing with the difference in people with trauma in their past.

Does ANYONE know if a list or group exists? I have searched the internet and haven't found a thing. I don't know if I could get enough drugs in me and push to the point of going, but I thought I could at least look and see if there was any doctors around me that have any experience, training, or interest in this type of care. I am doubtful that a database or list exhists, but thought I would ask.

Thanks

Maybe you can ask your T if she knows any doctors that patients of her with a trauma history are pleased with?

I empathize, by the way. I'm a survivor of trauma (medical torture, among other things) and have avoided the doctor and hospital for years. Going to my pdoc brought on a panic attack, even though I promoted him to "pill therapist" (which he initially wasn't pleased with, until the social worker that went with me explained it was actually praise - meaning he wasn't untrustworthy, like doctors are). The thing that 'cured' me of my fear of doctors and hospitals was actually depression that became so severe I didn't care one iota anymore. During the 'apathetic' depression I underwent ECT which served as its own kind of exposure therapy, and now I go to the doctor again when needed.

[confusedbyself]

Thanks Breadfish,

My t is the one thinking that we might be able to find a work around my issues to at least manage an appointment if it takes extra meds and support, but I live in a small town and know they're isn't anyone around here I would trust as people don't trust most docs here in the best of situations. Thought maybe they're would be someone in a closer town, but wouldn't have any idea how to find one.

[confusedbyself]

I have spent his searching and can't find anything that lists doctors that either specialize or 'accept' (as in they are aware of and acknowledge the issues associates with) trauma pasts... I can't just risk plucking a number out of the phone book.

Was sure hoping someone around here would know of someplace to start.

The only thing I can think to suggest is to ask around with people you know. Just inquire as to who has a family physician they really like. Have them tell you a bit about them. You don't have to tell your friends what your issue is; just say you are in the hunt for a new general practitioner and am looking for recommendations. We've been blessed with several really awesome family doctors who were personable and took their time with us. They were friendly and explained things well. I'm willing willing to bet if they came across a patient who said they were phobic of doctors, they would take the time to really talk to that patient and ease into things slowly. They were just that attentive and kind that way. Then, if your therapist is willing to talk to the doctor ahead of time or go with you or whatever, that might be a way to get started.

[confusedbyself]

Thanks lolagrace,

Problem for me is the very tiny community I am in. Seriously, we have a walmart and a couple of fat food restaurants. Mostly just low income wall in clinics out here. Additionally, here everybody knows everyone's business and I really don't want that. I am willing to drive to a nearby larger town if I knew of a doctor.

I can't believe there isn't some type of group doctors can belong to since there is do much out there about adults with past abuse histories, but I sure haven't found it.

Thanks for trying to help out guys. I might have been able to do it with my T's help, but if I can't find a willing doctor it isn't going to happen. I haven't even heard of a decent doctor that anyone liked around my area, let alone one willing to deal with extra stress.

[feralkittymom]

I've never heard of such a list or specialty, but I can say I've been particularly comfortable with Nurse Practitioners, although I have had a couple of good doctors. The NPs are generally female, and have training beyond nursing--mine actually has her doctorate! I've found them much more patient, not arrogant, and willing to work cooperatively with a client, rather than be in a position of authority. I've also known NPs at Planned Parenthood who are especially understanding of gender issues and power, and they also provide wellness check-ups and can be a good source for female-friendly practitioner referrals.

[BlessedRhiannon]

I am completely terrified of doctors, but I needed to see one. I ended up picking a large practice that took my insurance. I called the practice and explained to the person that answered that I wanted a consultation only, no exam. I also explained that I was terrified of doctors and needed someone that was patient and willing to work with that. The person that does the scheduling was able to recommend one of the doctors in the practice that would be a good fit. When I went for my appointment, it was just to talk to the doctor...we talked about what I needed and it went very well. I then scheduled an appointment and the doctor worked with me to make it as easy as possible.

So, I guess what I'm suggesting is to call a practice that takes your insurance and talk to the person that does the scheduling. They will know what the doctors are like and can recommend one that would be a good fit. If you feel like it would be helpful, ask for a consultation rather than an exam, that way you can talk to the doctor before an exam and see if they will even be a good fit.

[Favorite Jeans]

I would suggest giving the doctor (or NP) a heads-up that you have a lot of anxiety and apprehension about seeing them. You can tell the receptionist when you schedule the visit. If it's a practice with more than one doctor you can ask the receptionist who is the most patient and gentle person on the team.

This will allow them to book more time for you, go a bit slower and give you a bit of extra explanation as to what they are doing. It also takes away some of the burden of having to go in and tell them how difficult this is for you. If it is helpful to you, you can also ask that you just talk at the first session and leave any tests or physical exams for another visit. It might take away some of your fear to know that you can ask for what you want and you can leave at any time.

I find it helpful when I'm going to a meeting that feels scary to me to remind myself that it's totally fine to just gather information, ask questions, take notes and not make any decisions or commitments on the spot. You can say for example "what will you be looking for on the blood tests?" and just write down their answer and say "okay, thanks, I'll think about that."

[BudFox]

You might try googling for docs in your area who practice any sort of mind-body medicine. Or maybe functional medicine. In my experience practitioners/docs of this sort have a more holistic and comprehensive view of health, and will naturally be more inclined to consider trauma and emotional factors. Could also consider Naturopathic doctors or practitioners of Chinese medicine.

All of these approaches are less likely to be fully covered by insurance. But I think you get what you pay for.

I have anxiety around conventional docs, clinic, hospitals. I think it's because these are generally not places of healing, more about disease. Plus conventional medicine tends to be cold and invasive and dangerous. I dread any interaction with this system. With these other forms of medicine, on the other hand, I generally look forward to it. Tends to be calming and more humane.

[confusedbyself]

I typed a response earlier but it apparently didn't post.

Thanks for the suggestions. I contacted a local domestic violence program, was referred to the local er to try to talk to the nurse that deals with rape situations (she is gone for an extended time), tried another hospital and even a crisis line. Nobody had any helpful ideas. Due to our very tiny community, there aren't many doctors and no real large practices to try. Don't really know what else to do. It's been years since I have gone to a doctor and doesn't look like it is happening anytime soon. I could barely maintain my composure during the calls, and didn't keep it all together with a couple of them. There's no way I am just walking into an office.

[Argonautomobile]

I don't know how helpful this suggestion is (there have been plenty of very good suggestions already) but I'll just throw this out there...I've been known to medicate before having to see the doctor/dentist. I mean, if you can't change the situation, you can at least chemically alter your perception of it, right?

My therapist isn't too impressed with this strategy, but I personally figure it's better than not going at all.

[BlessedRhiannon]

I also medicate before doctors appointments. Both my T and pdoc are good with it. I don't over-medicate, but I do take more Xanax than I normally would. I take a double dose before seeing a doctor, but my anxiety is also super high, so it works out okay. I've talked with my T and pdoc and know what limits to stick with.

[Favorite Jeans]

Have you had a bad experience with any of the doctors in your small town? I'm thinking that looking for a specialist is unlikely to be a winning strategy. Dealing with anxiety, even severe anxiety, is all in a day's work for a family practitioner. You won't be the first person they've met with bad PTSD. That does not mean that any individual will necessarily be great at it but you're at least as likely to find a patient, skilled, compassionate person in a small town as in a huge city.

[confusedbyself]

Thanks for the suggestions everyone. I vanished for a while and have been in and out of panic and trying to figure out if there is any way that I can make myself get to the point of going. In the past, I have ignored issues that bordered life/death and opted for NOT going and survived. Part of me just says that this time will be the same if I just keep ignoring it and another part says that I am going downhill fast and refusing to do anything is going to be the start of a process of medical decline that I wont be able to stop this time.

I tried several of the suggestions and even called hospitals, domestic violence programs, the YWCA and did lots of internet searching. At this time, my t and I are still talking about it and the use of medication to get me there would have to be one of the prerequisites, but it would take so much that I could not drive myself and even then, I don't know if I could do it. My local area is truly so tiny that there are not many options and it is unlikely that the one here have dealt with anything like this. Plus, everyone here knows everyone else's business and if I fell apart like I fear I would, I do NOT want the entire community to know about it (I know the doc couldn't say anything, but I don't even know if I could make I through the waiting room).

I am in constant battle with myself right now and I don't know what is going to happen, but I sure appreciate the ideas and support.

[AncientMelody]

Originally Posted by confusedbyself

Thanks for the suggestions everyone. I vanished for a while and have been in and out of panic and trying to figure out if there is any way that I can make myself get to the point of going. In the past, I have ignored issues that bordered life/death and opted for NOT going and survived. Part of me just says that this time will be the same if I just keep ignoring it and another part says that I am going downhill fast and refusing to do anything is going to be the start of a process of medical decline that I wont be able to stop this time.

I tried several of the suggestions and even called hospitals, domestic violence programs, the YWCA and did lots of internet searching. At this time, my t and I are still talking about it and the use of medication to get me there would have to be one of the prerequisites, but it would take so much that I could not drive myself and even then, I don't know if I could do it. My local area is truly so tiny that there are not many options and it is unlikely that the one here have dealt with anything like this. Plus, everyone here knows everyone else's business and if I fell apart like I fear I would, I do NOT want the entire community to know about it (I know the doc couldn't say anything, but I don't even know if I could make I through the waiting room).

I am in constant battle with myself right now and I don't know what is going to happen, but I sure appreciate the ideas and support.

You would be very surprised. By and large people discuss mental health and trauma concerns with their primary care provider before ever seeing a mental health specialist.

I get what you say about not wanting to go in your small town. Here is a thought: maybe over-preparing is making the process more stressful. Consider picking the two closest towns outside of your own town, and just get it booked. Just get it done. I would even suggest that you consider doing it DURING therapy. Consider this exposure therapy perhaps.

Though everyone can vary by individual, perhaps picking a DO (doctor of osteopathy) over an MD. They have the same medical skills and training an MD has but DO schools follow a more holistic approach.

[confusedbyself]

Thanks ancientmelody, my t and I are still talking about it but I am in massive battle about it and I think he thinks it is to much to push through right now. I so wish I could "just do it!!!" But. ... my inner demon disagrees

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by confusedbyself

Thanks ancientmelody, my t and I are still talking about it but I am in massive battle about it and I think he thinks it is to much to push through right now. I so wish I could "just do it!!!" But. ... my inner demon disagrees

Not sure if you mentioned this already, but what is the main issue that triggers the anxiety with doctors? If you don't want to say, I understand.