[AnxiousGirl]

Havent posted in a while, mainly because there was nothing to post. Had a horrible last 2 months (still getting over everything) and after 5 weeks I saw T today. The session was sort of weird, it felt like I was going for the first time (been going for almost 2 years). I was nervous and quiet, and it just felt odd. I dont know if it was because I hadnt gone for 5 weeks or anything. Anyways, out of the 60 min I have, about 30 min was spent on re connecting and me bringing her up to date with what had happened over the past 2 months. Then we started going into some topics that I hate. Then I realized why I was so calm and happy during the 5 weeks of not going. I didn't have to worry about dealing with the topic/exposure, now here I am again having to go in every week freaking out beforehand and then hiding my fear in session for some reason which I still dont know. I'm just so tired of it. I dont want to take a break again because I did for 5 weeks and today this happened... Dont want to go through that again.

Anyways, I'm not sure what this post was, I guess just a rant of some sort. Has anyone had a similar experience? How did you push through it? Thanks!

[JaneTennison1]

Avoiding a difficult or anxiety inducing subject feels great but doesn't get you anywhere. I avoided everything until I became agoraphobic and panicked everyday. There is a quote i like "you can't find peace by avoiding life" it sums up how I feel. The only way through tough stuff was through it.

[divine1966]

If your life is going well without therapy, then no need to waste energy but if things are still a bit off do you feel therapy might push you through? Or no?

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[junkDNA]

i feel weird too when my T goes away for a while and then comes back. its almost like i forget what he looks like and how our relationship is

I think all of us get anxious as what to talk about in counseling. Then we obsess how we will be percieved or if it will be taken wrongly. It is normal cause i have done it. Yet afterwards you feel relieved to have gotten it off your chest and feel light and good to go. I wish you better counseling sessions in the future, tc and blessings

[AnxiousGirl]

Thanks everyone. Although I felt good without therapy I still feel that the main issue is yet to be resolved since I've kept putting it off so much. Even today in session I asked to do it next week and luckily T agreed. I just hate talking about scary things and avoiding it is just so much easier I know everyone feels this way but for me it's so scary I don't know why. I guess next week I'll start the session by telling T how nervous it makes me. Glad I've started to trust T more after 2 years...

[AnxiousGirl]

Originally Posted by divine1966

If your life is going well without therapy, then no need to waste energy but if things are still a bit off do you feel therapy might push you through? Or no?

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For the 5 weeks it was great not to worry about going to therapy but the thing we are working on has been a fear of mine for a few years now and I'm just afraid to face it, I much rather avoid it. I dont know how to tell T this because know she wants best for me and avoidance isnt that.