[kkrrhh]

I started seeing a new therapist a few weeks ago. I went to her through a mental health center, where our first meeting was just registration and getting basic info mostly. They kind of just put me with her at random because she was the one available then, and she told me at the end of the meeting that she normally just stays with the client she's registered if it's a good fit, or if they want she'll send them on to another therapist from then on. I just automatically told her yes because I felt too bad not to. She seemed nice enough, I just didn't feel we clicked or like I'd be comfortable and there are a few reasons I'd prefer to try a different therapist.

I know the logical, "it's not really going to hurt her feelings" thing, but I still can't help it. I'm trying to decide whether I should maybe call the center itself and just tell them I'm looking for another therapist there, and whether that'd be too pathetic or ridiculous. I also worry that if she found out about it she'd think I really hated something about her to have called them directly, as if I were making a complaint. It's really frustrating to know this probably isn't going to help me as much as it could, but not being able to do anything about it because I am so bad at speaking up in situations like this.
Any advice?

[Raindropvampire]

Can you try thinking of it as you are helping her? If you won't benefit from being with her then(unless she's just in it for a paycheck) she may think she's doing something wrong and might feel frustrated.

If you simply explain the situation you will save her that frustration and feeling of failing you. Hopefully you get in with the right T.

Many of us just don't clique with the person we have. Several we tend to go through for a pcp so why not a therapist? I don't know of any one way to say it but the right words will come out in session to start out with: I think this isn't going as well as i would like, is there perhaps another therapist that i can see? But you ask that of the scheduler when you go in before your session and they should schedule you with another if they are not the only one in the office. If they are the only one then you might have to go to another office to see another therapist and that might require travel of a great distance. weigh out all your options that are feasible for you and compromise where you need to. blessings and tc.

[ruh roh]

I think you might be projecting your own feelings onto her. In my experience, they seriously do not care all that much if someone leaves or switches, especially when it's just a few weeks in. I would do whichever option (call the clinic or the therapist directly) that causes the least anxiety for you. If she can't handle it (I believe she can), then that doesn't say much about her skills as a therapist. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's a good thing to put yourself first here. She is responsible for herself, and I bet she's had a lot of practice seeing people go elsewhere.

[MobiusPsyche]

And she's also had the opposite experience... Clients coming to see her because they didn't click with the first person they saw.

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Can I ask what didn't work with this therapist ? One session is not a lot to go by but if you had a really strong reaction to her it could be a good start to your work with her!
From my own experience with my own clients I would prefer it of they were able to tell me rather than ring the centre but I can hear also that you are trying to protect her feelings and being very kind about it but it is not your job or responsibility to do those
I hope your next t works out better.

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[ruh roh]

I just want to add that if you're concerned about what to say, it's perfectly okay to call and leave a message that it doesn't feel like a good fit. I did that with one I saw for one session. I didn't tell her why, just said that, after some thought, I decided to keep looking. She called back and left a really nice message, thanking me. Maybe some people just cancel, and don't say anything.

Anyway, it's enough just to say you didn't feel the two of you clicked, or whatever verbiage you want to use.

[JaneTennison1]

I second leaving a message. It's sometimes easier. I know it's different but my massage therapist told me there are people there who go through all the massage therapists and switch all the time. In turn I encouraged a friend of mine who was not happy with her massage therapist to make the switch as they were used to it. She did and is now happy.

Since the T asked if you want to switch it sounds like she is used to it. Leave a message if you don't feel comfortable. This is your mental wellbeing, it's ok to ask for what you need.

[nottrustin]

Be honest with her. Most therapists understand that sometimes, for whatever reason, it is not working. Not everybody is the right "fit".

[barbella]

It's OK if you don't click. It happens a lot. I think it's better to change as soon as possible. You can contact the centre and just let them know the situation and find out if there is particular way to go about changing therapists. If it's OK to do it via contacting the centre, then you're done and you don't have to worry anymore. If they need you to contact the therapist directly, you can just write out a couple of sentences to say that you would prefer to see someone else and thank her for her time. You don't need to go into detail.

[eclogite]

My friend who's a T says that she must be excellent at fixing people because they only ever need one session! It's really common for shuffling around in the beginning of each relationship.

[stopdog]

I don't think client's need concern themselves about the feelings of therapists - it is a business to them. If you want a new one, there is no need whatsoever to explain or justify yourself to them.

[kkrrhh]

Woops, I forgot to check back until now. Thank you all for your replies and advice.

It's just frustrating because my mom and others tell me that I shouldn't be so picky and make me almost start to question whether I'm just being difficult, so being reminded that it's ok to switch helps. I did go to the 2nd session with her, and almost felt just a teeny bit more comfortable, but I still don't think it's gonna work. The things that make me feel she's not right... She's an older lady who seems a bit "proper" (for lack of better way to put it) for me, I guess. I get the feeling she's a lot more conservative than me, and though she's generally kind of friendly I just get the feeling I'm being judged by her. I know a lot of that is me being self conscious and imagining, but it just doesn't feel like she gets a lot of what I say.

I made another appointment with her for next week, so I guess before then I'll call. I hadn't even thought about the fact that her number goes right to voicemail from the menu, anyway, so that would make it easier. Worst case I'll at least call the center, haha. Thank you all again.