[SoConfused623]

I've been reading a lot about psychotherapy and keep seeing that most people have therapy goals, however my therapist never mentioned this and I'm not so sure that I even want them...

When I started with this therapist I was in the middle of a crisis and she split the session doing half intake and half trying to help me through my situation. On the 2nd meeting a week later, we did the rest of the intake and again worked on my problem.

Therefore, we never discussed goals, her boundaries, contact out of therapy etc... We just seem to talk about all of the random issues in my life and there are no goals. I really enjoy our sessions and learning about myself and really don't want to end therapy so I don't want to even ask about goals.

Is there anyone else in this situation?

[atisketatasket]

Dealing with crises or life issues...learning about yourself...these are goals, whether or not they have been explicitly stated.

[Salmon77]

Seems to me that as long as you're finding therapy helpful and interesting, there's no real need to set goals. Some people find them useful as a benchmark or a target, probably, or if therapy is getting stagnant it's probably good to start thinking about such things.

For me, right now, a goal would be an additional source of pressure and would make therapy into yet another area of my life where I'm failing.

My T has never brought up boundaries or contact rules, I'm guessing some of them just deal with those problems as they arise. If you're worried about it I'm sure you could ask, though.

I don't have any therapy goals. Didn't even have a proper 'intake' as I see so many people do. We jumped right in and didn't look back.

I never had formal, written down goals in therapy, but I knew what my goals were and my therapist had definite goals he was helping me work toward -- it just wasn't a formal document or anything -- AND they changed and evolved as needed over time.

The only time I ever saw formal, written goals was in the hospital (and those were really just paperwork to satisfy the powers that be and insurance as far as I could tell).

[Miswimmy1]

I personally like not having formal goals. It makes the entire therapy process seem just a gigantic checklist. That being said, of course it depends on the patient as well as the therapist. For some people, having goals all laid out helps. The only time I've had formal goals has been when doing OCD exposure work. But as far as my other therapy issues, I guess you could say that my goals were more implicitly stated.

[December2015]

Curiously , I find myself agreeing with both positions . I'm somewhere in the middle .

I don't have goals. I think in the beginning my T had some sort of goals for me, but he more relaxed with my adventurer style of therapy.

I don't think goals are necessary, but I think it's a great idea to ensure you and your therapist are on the same page.

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by SoConfused623

I've been reading a lot about psychotherapy and keep seeing that most people have therapy goals, however my therapist never mentioned this and I'm not so sure that I even want them...

When I started with this therapist I was in the middle of a crisis and she split the session doing half intake and half trying to help me through my situation. On the 2nd meeting a week later, we did the rest of the intake and again worked on my problem.

Therefore, we never discussed goals, her boundaries, contact out of therapy etc... We just seem to talk about all of the random issues in my life and there are no goals. I really enjoy our sessions and learning about myself and really don't want to end therapy so I don't want to even ask about goals.

Is there anyone else in this situation?

Sure. My goal is for my life to feel better, and to understand myself better too. That happens by talking about anything and everything in therapy. When I was feeling particularly stressed that I was disappointing her, or failing to change (in ways that I wanted to), my wonderful T told me that I could not change one bit and therapy would continue. I plan to never end therapy, because there is always something to learn!

There are therapists and therapies that do focus on stating specific goals and achieving them. I purposely sought a different kind of therapy than that. I wanted depth therapy, analysis, and I'm fortunate to have found just that!

[skeksi]

I didn't really discuss goals with my T at first, either. We were doing crisis management kind of stuff--I was a mess--and then spent a lot of time getting me comfortable with therapy. Eventually we discussed a goal but it was very, very broad. We go back to it every now and then and sometimes slightly shift focus as I master new skills. I always worry that discussing goals means T is ending, too!

If you're good with things going as they are, then there's no reason to bring up goals. But if you ever feel like you want a little more focus, I would encourage you to share with your T your desire to keep going. That way she can reassure you that talking about goals does not mean ending your sessions.

[BipolarMama31]

I am assuming everyone goes through therapy differently, that being said, I like goals. For example today my therapy goal is to get up every day at 8, take my medicine, eat at the table, 30 mins of exercise then I can reward myself afterwards. For me, without these small goals and someone to hold me accountable, I would spend a month in bed. (March 2016).

My longer term goal is to learn to set boundaries with people before they stress me out.

I thrive on structure. Everyone is different tho.

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