Couch 111 - The Simple, Clear, and Informative Couch

Really productive session I just left. I really have a great T.

That's great!

They went really well. Pdoc is going better than I suspected. Although, she thinks I'm intriguing and wants to be my T... um, that's never going to happen. Plus, I don't want to be intriguing or seeing as a neuro-guinea pig! T went well but it always does, she's fantastic.

Glad you had a productive session again! I know for awhile you were struggling with your T.

Yeah, it goes up and down a little. I can really hate her during sessions with my parents, but she more than makes up for it in individual sessions, and especially today.

I'm glad your appointments went well.

its all crashing . i just want to die . im a useless piece of crap .i know whats comming at me and i can no longer handle it .i just want to die .im so tired

You're not useless. I know you won't believe me, but you're not.

I can relate. You're not worthless. You are an extremely talented individual.

Sending safe hugs to you dear granite i am sorry you are hurting so much. You are not useless. What you are, is a strong and beautiful person who is worthy of life and love!

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(((Crocus)))
You do deserve better.

(((Granite)))
You are not useless, hang in there girl.

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Had a dream about t a couple nights ago, kinda convoluted, typed it up last night n emailed it to her. Haven't heard back yet. I still don't know what a "termination dream" (i kinda wish she'd never mentioned such a thing!) is exactly, but suspect this to be one cuz all my poems lately keep sounding like I'm saying goodbye. I'm so at war with myself wanting to go and wanting to stay.

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I could be way off base here but if you're conflicted, my guess is you aren't totally ready to leave? That doesn't mean you won't be ready later of course.

But, until then, why not just keep going? It doesn't sound like it'll hurt to continue (except perhaps for the $$ of course)?

You're probably right....

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thanks guys im so down right now . im not as out of control panicked but just down big time

This was my thought too. I think the time to leave is when it feels natural and 'normal' not conflicting.

granite, do you want to talk about it? Did something happen at T?

I wish I could get T to do my workbook pages with me. I guess I need to be more clear on what support I would like with them. They are really triggering to do alone and it'd be nice to have her there while working through them.

Maybe why i keep harping on this subject is cuz I'm afraid it will never feel natural. I dunno. I may end my break and go in and talk about it...

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I talk about it to T all the time and I still have at least a minimum of 4 years left with her...

I hope you can come to rest with it one way or the other or that she'll help you work through your struggle.

My T is back from vacation!!! Haven't seen her in two weeks!! I can't wait for tomorrow morning!!! Happy dance!!!

DD2's stalker-dad is at it again. Argh. . . They share the same birthday and it's next week. Now he's got my sister's husband bargaining with me. Could I just get one normal ex?

I feel I have messed around T unnecessarily this past months with cancellations and requests for appointments back again etc. I can't seem to control it and there is no real reason for it. I hope I haven't pushed him too far this time. He's usually understanding....

Its like snowglobe in my chest.

Peter gabriel Shaking The Tree


Weezer Island In The sun

Watch for Artemis in this vid.

I have an amazing T.But he keeps putting ellipses in his texts. Which to me means an omission of words. I wonder what he thinks it means?
Like "Hi Bunyip...Sure. T" He might mean a pause maybe.

Full marks for chemistry test. A 7.6 for math, which was a big disappointment.