[Fuzzybear]

How do you deal with it when the T, after many years, actually does hate you and is angry with you on a ...(regular basis )

This wasn't / isn't in my head although the "dx" I was given made it look like it is/was

Could you ever trust another T?

Oh fuzzy paws

(Edited)

I was thinking about parachuting..
Nope that wouldn't work either.

Too ..... to live
Too ..... to die

I'm sorry about the negative post, it's probably not a good choice for me to read in this part of the forum although I wish I could

[rainbow8]

Sending you hugs and the special hearts you've sent me in the past. I don't believe a T hates you!

I'm going though something similar. I don't understand it. He says it is all my projections, but it's not. After last session, I listed all the negative things he said about me while it was fresh in my mind. There was nothing positive. He said I am pointing out only what I wasn't to see. WTF-that's all there is to see. I feel like i'm being gaslighting. it's hard enough, but for him to put it all on me, denying what is happening, is most distressing.

When I question it he says-how can you work with me if I am like you say I am? Truth is, I am still trying to figure out what is happening.

I wish someone could tell me what this is. The main reason I still work with him is because I feel like i'm going to die when I try to leave, ending feels so traumatic to me, a repeat of the past. I can't do it.

Sorry I have no advice Fuzzy, but i wanted to let you know I am going through it too, and understand.

[Demunie]

Hi Fuzzy,

Why would your T hate you?
This T has worked with you for a long time. Would you work with someone over years if you hated this person?

I don't know if i could ever trust another T. Probably. In the end, there had to be at (very, very) least one T who'd love you/me/one. You're lovable

Stay safe

I'm so sorry, Fuzzybear. Sending you lots of hugs...

[Fuzzybear]

Gaslighting yes...
Maybe these T's did think they could help us to begin with...
But then if our "stuff " triggers their "issues" they behave in a less than kind, sane and professional manner, and "blame" the "patient"
It's ugly and not what we deserve but triggers all that deep pain and shame from the original traumas in childhood

Originally Posted by ex vivo

I'm going though something similar. I don't understand it. He says it is all my projections, but it's not. After last session, I listed all the negative things he said about me while it was fresh in my mind. There was nothing positive. He said I am pointing out only what I wasn't to see. WTF-that's all there is to see. I feel like i'm being gaslighting. it's hard enough, but for him to put it all on me, denying what is happening, is most distressing.

When I question it he says-how can you work with me if I am like you say I am? Truth is, I am still trying to figure out what is happening.

I wish someone could tell me what this is. The main reason I still work with him is because I feel like i'm going to die when I try to leave, ending feels so traumatic to me, a repeat of the past. I can't do it.

Sorry I have no advice Fuzzy, but i wanted to let you know I am going through it too, and understand.

[precaryous]

((Safe hugs)) Fuzzybear.

I don't think anyone could hate you let alone your t who knows you we'll

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

How do you deal with it when the T, after many years, actually does hate you and is angry with you on a ...(regular basis )

This wasn't / isn't in my head although the "dx" I was given made it look like it is/was

Could you ever trust another T?

Oh fuzzy paws

(Edited)

I was thinking about parachuting..
Nope that wouldn't work either.

Too ..... to live
Too ..... to die

I'm sorry about the negative post, it's probably not a good choice for me to read in this part of the forum although I wish I could

All T's can't be painted with the same brush, anymore than all of any professional group (dentists, photographers, florists, cooks...).

The best revenge, as it is said, is to do well. Not saying you want revenge. You want reassuring, and you want to be safe.

Metaphorically that T (grrrr!) left a stain, but it doesn't have to be permanent. Like a sweater, toss it and replace it with another one.

There are wonderful T's out there who would be helpful. It takes time to feel trust in any new relationship, but that will pass. You might want to begin by talking about the old T, about the effects and feelings you have been left with.

Go for it, Fuzzy - you deserve it

[gayleggg]

Hugs to you Fuzzybear. It would be hard to start over with a new therapist, but it can be done. Each therapist is different and hopefully you can find one you can trust.

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

How do you deal with it when the T, after many years, actually does hate you and is angry with you on a ...(regular basis )

This wasn't / isn't in my head although the "dx" I was given made it look like it is/was

Could you ever trust another T?

Oh fuzzy paws

(Edited)

I was thinking about parachuting..
Nope that wouldn't work either.

Too ..... to live
Too ..... to die

I'm sorry about the negative post, it's probably not a good choice for me to read in this part of the forum although I wish I could

Why would a therapist spend so much time with someone they hate? Doesn't make any sense to me. I don't think it would last years. It would go very wrong within a shorter time span.

[Fuzzybear]

I think part of the reason things happened as they did was because the original referral was absolutely ghastly - it felt like abuse

So it took me even longer to trust this t, or partially trust him... than it would have done. By which time he was bored

I think he was "out of his league" with me. (He wasn't experienced when I first saw him)

I needed someone who had the qualities of patience, empathy etc.... Probably someone who had had their own analysis.

Someone like Peter Lomas or Yalom come to mind...

I was a special kind of stupid consulting him for as long as I did

He was bored? I thought he was angry and hated you?

Sorry, I'm trying to understand this.

[Fuzzybear]

He was often angry... He actually said so, he also implied how he was bored as I hadn't "changed significantly"
The situation was more complicated than I want to describe here
Maybe "indifferent" is more accurate than "hate"

[Fuzzybear]

Ps also things like tone of voice

I am sensitive, I am hypervigilent... (I had to be)

I think part of what was going on was an attempt at "tough love" - not what I was looking for in a therapist.

Also knee jerk reactions on his part, which he later denied

If this is confusing, that's because it was...

[rainbow8]

Fuzzy, I wish you could see my T. She would never be bored or indifferent, and would be 100% accepting of where you are. I hope you find a different T who is nicer.

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Ps also things like tone of voice

I am sensitive, I am hypervigilent... (I had to be)

I think part of what was going on was an attempt at "tough love" - not what I was looking for in a therapist.

Also knee jerk reactions on his part, which he later denied

If this is confusing, that's because it was...

I can say, that's not a skilled therapist. If that's what happened.
Are you going to find another one?

I think what leaves it complicated is its unresolved.

From my own hyperviglant/sensitivity I had to talk About what I felt was happening v what was happening. In my case it was transference, not an unskilled T.
But an unskilled T doesn't necessarily mean an abusive person such as toy describe, ie, getting angry with you.

Are your going to make a complaint?

[Fuzzybear]

Yes it did happen (and a lot more)


Unresolved yes..

Another T - I'm looking but so tired