[1stepatatime]

Gosh .. sometimes I feel like I'm looking for issues in my therapy, and then I think , nah, this is part of the process. Question... For those of you who have been working with your therapist for over a year.. Do you ever question your progress? Are you so attached to your therapist that you sometimes loose sight of your goals, what you hope to achieve? How do you know when you have reached a plateau with your therapist?
As I write this I question myself questioning my own therapy. I have a therapist who is well respected . Where it gets hazy for me is how to decipher what is MY stuff causing these questions and what is actually real.. THAT is where I struggle... Thanks everyone

[Argonautomobile]

I find the more I think about it, the less clarity I have. It's sort of like repeating a word over, and over, and over again until it loses all meaning and just becomes a noise. Or the way that even a correctly spelled word starts to look incorrect the longer you stare at it.

Maybe taking a break and doing something else will bring some clarity?

[1stepatatime]

Yes, I've thought about taking a break.. I've been working with my therapist for almost three and a half years without a break other than the usual vacations, once in a while cancellations. I think that is something I need to consider a little more. The good news is that I don't feel near as bad as I did when I first started so that is a good thing.. Not saying I don't have more work to do but perhaps a break would give me the clarity that I need.. Thanks : )

[seoultous]

I think it is important to have goals in therapy but for me it is hard to know if I should try to attain those goals without the support of a therapist. I would probably not have the motivation to work on them and I worry that I will become so discouraged that I will need to go back to therapy. I am considering taking a break from therapy for the summer and see where that takes me.

hmmm, I had more of a directed therapy. We set an agenda and gave ourselves three months to explore and challenge them. It was loosely based on the CBT format. I would say, by going through step by setp with assigned homework each week, we pretty well covered everything in the agenda. She is open to the ocassional future visit for 'tune ups' but we no longer have regularly scheduled meetings.

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by 1stepatatime

Yes, I've thought about taking a break.. I've been working with my therapist for almost three and a half years without a break other than the usual vacations, once in a while cancellations. I think that is something I need to consider a little more. The good news is that I don't feel near as bad as I did when I first started so that is a good thing.. Not saying I don't have more work to do but perhaps a break would give me the clarity that I need.. Thanks : )

That's a long time, 1step. Glad you have a T you can rely on. Have you been seeing her weekly this whole time? If so, you might consider reducing frequency of sessions for a while as your break--I found this gave me clarity and was much less daunting than the idea of going months without seeing my T.

[Mondayschild]

I'm going through this right now. I actually made a list of accomplishments and a list of what is left that I want to change. The third invisible list is how attached i feel and what will i do with that??

life is a beautiful lie

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Yes I have questioned my progress and sometimes my attachment has gotten in the way of my goals. I have really pushed to focus on my goals and I have told my T about my concerns and it helped that we worked together as a team to help with my attachment and to accomplish my goals. What helped the most was to talk to her about it. Last summer I had therapy once a month and it helped to have that break to think about things even though I missed her terribly.

[kecanoe]

When I have been in your shoes, I've made a list of the things that I still want to accomplish and showed that to t. Sometimes over the years t and I have agreed that it is time to stop. One time, t said no and I've been with him for years...But that is a different story.

I also think that slowing down is a good strategy; meeting less frequently. Taking a break from t2 and 3 would be ok, but I can't imagine taking a break from t1.

[1stepatatime]

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

That's a long time, 1step. Glad you have a T you can rely on. Have you been seeing her weekly this whole time? If so, you might consider reducing frequency of sessions for a while as your break--I found this gave me clarity and was much less daunting than the idea of going months without seeing my T.

Hi there... Yes, I've been working with her weekly, once in a while two times a week. I met with her tonight and I realized ( without any input from my therapist) that I'm at a point in my therapy where inevitably it will get painful. I've been avoiding delving into some stuff from many years ago. I believe that may be why my defenses are kicking up and wanting to take a break. My therapist quoted an author tonight.. She said " we can be safe or we can be better". I want to be better, the best I can be.

[1stepatatime]

Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick

Yes I have questioned my progress and sometimes my attachment has gotten in the way of my goals. I have really pushed to focus on my goals and I have told my T about my concerns and it helped that we worked together as a team to help with my attachment and to accomplish my goals. What helped the most was to talk to her about it. Last summer I had therapy once a month and it helped to have that break to think about things even though I missed her terribly.

Yes, I know what you mean about attachment. It's kind of gotten in the way of my progress too. Recently I told my therapist that I have expected too much from her ( to really really care about me, to feel like I do). I think with that painful clarity I can move forward. Good luck to you!

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by 1stepatatime

Yes, I know what you mean about attachment. It's kind of gotten in the way of my progress too. Recently I told my therapist that I have expected too much from her ( to really really care about me, to feel like I do). I think with that painful clarity I can move forward. Good luck to you!

I have also realized that I have expected to much from mine as well. I think its good we both realized this so as you said, we can move forward. Good luck to you as well. Attachment is tough but I believe its there to teach you something.

I struggle with this also. I don't believe it's all that uncommon for attachment to get in the way of therapy, as it has for me, and I know quite well that if I ever switch therapists I will interview him or her completely to find out if attachment is something they depend on from their clients in order for therapy to work. If they were to say yes, they believe in the attachment therapy, I will thank them for their time and leave. As I, too, find it far too damaging.