[Loco4]

Hey all,

How do you be completely authentic with your t? Any tips on how to let go and just be yourself?


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[Piickles]

I wish I had some tips, it's taken me years to start to be authentic... So maybe unfortunately it just takes time

Originally Posted by Loco4

How do you be completely authentic with your t? Any tips on how to let go and just be yourself?

Not a clue. I think if I tried it, it would go something like this

[junkDNA]

it has taken a lot of time for me... years...

I think I just thought of it as the place where I could actually be most authentically myself. I didn't have to take care of anyone else's feeling. I didn't have to be necessarily well-mannered and professional. I didn't have to act brave or calm or anything that didn't feel like me. I could just be me, with all my warts and foibles and fears and let it all hang out.

[stopdog]

I think I am myself with the therapist as well as most other people. I don't know why I wouldn't be.

The only time I have a problem being my authentic self with t is times like right now when I am overwhelmed with feelings for her... I just, can't.... I had the chance yesterday to talk about it, she even prompted me by asking "What's going on between us, what's causing this push-pull?" (push-pull as in I say no I don't want to schedule for next Saturday, and schedule 2 weeks out, and then by Wednesday I'm calling her asking for that week after all. Stuff like that.)

I wish I had the answer.

Originally Posted by CassyO

Not a clue. I think if I tried it, it would go something like this

Hmm. Perhaps I should try that method. Might could work.

I dais to T once that I can't be myself with her. T said "I think you are at times ". I had to think about that. To think it happens and I'm unaware. But as I think about it, I get that feeling of "I". And it's them I can recall it. But it's hard to know when as it happens.

For me, it was realizing I had choice, and my decisions were not driven by guilt or shame.
Sometimes, it becomes a struggle to not be pulled down the old road, but it's a heck of a lot easier to not topple older. I can hold my own.

Most always, I feel completely myself when with T.
It's in social situations and at work where I struggle with being myself.

I think it's because I let my defenses down when I see T. For me, I don't think it was a conscious choice. I have high level of dependency tendencies...I guess.

[Loco4]

Thanks everyone. I've been too focused for too long now on being who I think others want/need me to be, that I don't know who I am anymore.

I'm struggling just to be myself with t for the same reasons. I also have some pretty intense feelings for t so that's not helping either!

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[Ididitmyway]

Accept where you are and your inability to be "yourself". Not putting demands on yourself to be yourself will, paradoxically, bring you closer to yourself. Just one of life's paradoxes. :-) Life's full of them. The less effort we make to be ourselves the sooner we will be ourselves :-) If it's confusing, sorry. I don't think I can explain it any better. You might want to watch Ekhart Tolle's videos. He speaks a lot on this subject.

"I knew who I was this morning but I changed a few times since then." - Alice in Wonderland