Magical Thinking About T

I'm a magical thinker in general. I know this about myself and so far it hasn't interfered with my life. I just quietly make associations and inferences and go about business as usual. An example of my magical thinking is that I see T as a blend of all my fathers/father figures (read: I have father hunger issues, as I have noted in other posts). T is a professor and researcher, as was my father though different fields (but both in science). T is a gardener and boater, like my stepfather, and resembles my step-father in a way. T's full name strongly resembles my former employer's name (former boss was like a dad to me), and former boss was psych major. T is also very formal in speech and dress, as was my old boss, and extremely well-mannered.

So I realize this is just my wildly dopamine-enhanced brain seeking connections to make sense of where I am. I want to believe I am with the right T, so I am looking for signs from the "universe". I want to believe the universe is telling me he is the one who can help me work through these daddy issues I have. I know this is a flawed system.

Does anyone else do crazy stuff like this? Or am I alone?

As a younger person I did. I think lots of people think lint this but aren't even aware of it. There's no harm. But therapy will change that. It replaces it with a more age appropriate way of seeing the world. I prefer it that way.

Brilliantly put. Yes, exactly!

But who says it's necessarilary a flawed system? He's the one, isn't he?

Yup I did such magical thinking few times in my life when I was young, it never ended well. There are no such thing as signs from universe. I think many young people try to justify things by saying it's meant to be etc some even stay in bad circumstances because they think it's meant to be or soul mates or there are signs from
above etc

I don't do this anymore, I grew up, there is no "meant to be " or "signs from universe" things

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I don't personally thing anything is wrong with magical thinking - though I will admit that I am an optimist and I am frequently disappointed by others

This may sound too philosophical or religious, but I do believe that things happen for a reason. Whether it's an entity bringing two people together or the subconscious pulling people to certain kinds of other people there is *something* there when two people connect deeply. I also think our subconscious knows what we need - so by virtue of the fact that you have strong feelings for this person, you ARE with the right therapist.

If/when things start to feel differently to you, it might be time to move on.

I think part of 'growing up' is learning to trust what your heart/mind is telling you to do. I read so many instances on this site of people dragging things on with therapists that clearly aren't helping... or people questioning the *positive* feelings they are experiencing towards their therapists. But anyway, if things are working... enjoy it and embrace your magical thinking!

magical thinking used to be a huge problem for me. in my case it went like this

for example: if i am going to work and think the whole time about how it will be a bad , horrible day then somehow my thoughts will control reality and make it a good day.

or

if my T is going on his backpacking trip i have to constantly think about him being dead in order to keep him alive

maybe mine is a little more extreme since i think my thoughts can control reality,... i dunno

its gotten better over the last year though

I don't know if he is or isn't...but it feels like he is. From a less magical standpoint, I just sense that his particular style and personality, coupled with his many years of experience, offer me the most hope for growth. But I want to believe in fate, that our paths were meant to cross for a little while...

Well, I'm 43 years young, so I'm not sure there's hope for me to grow out of this tendency of mine. :/

That's interesting how the outcome in your magical thinking is the opposite of what you feel you need to envision. I wonder if that comes from a place of feeling sure that the universe is unkind, and gives you only what you don't want, so you have to outfox it somehow....

Thanks FF, I do feel strongly for him in many ways, but try pretty hard to not let on. I feel like he offers tremendous opportunity for growth for me. I think I *will* embrace my magical thinking, on that note! I just need to quicken the pace of my therapy agenda as I have the insurance he accepts for only 1 more year...

I did this for years and years- I don't really do it now though, apart from a mild 'don't get too hopeful or you'll jinx it' mindset. Never considered why before ... Good theory Runola

Yes most likely. Thanks for the insight

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

This is more how mine is and has been since childhood. For me, it's a part of OCD. Like if I don't, say, worry about getting cancer, then it might happen. Or if something good happens to me, then something bad will inevitably happen to balance it out. (I get pregnant my first month of trying and had a generally easy pregnancy, so, hey, maybe that's why my daughter is on the autism spectrum.) Or, more karma-like, if I do something bad, then something bad will have to happen to me (or someone I care about), like as punishment.

Though I also believe in the things happening for a reason, like in a more positive way. I've thought in the past that I was meant to be with someone, romantically, like a destiny kind of thing, and then it didn't work out (and then we tried again a few years later), and it was like, "But this was supposed to be my story!" (This actually happened with a couple people.) But then sometimes I tell myself that maybe someone had to be in my life not so that I'd live happily ever after with them, but to enable me to eventually find some other path to happiness. Or something like that. So, I guess it helps me explain both good and bad things, in a way.

Lonesome- I too got pregnant on the first try, 15 years ago, and that daughter is also the autism spectrum, so I get what you are saying. I have felt a similar guilt, especially because my brother and his then-wife were struggling to get pregnant at the time, and never ended up being able to have kids. I felt so guilty. I have a sort-of similar weird thing about masturbation and airplane trips. I am fine "flying solo" most of the time, but within 1 week of flying anywhere, I will not indulge, because I am convinced the plane will go down. Gah. I'm not even religious so I don't know where this thought even comes from...but it's been there for as long as I can remember.