[trdleblue]

Last week I had my last session with my t that I have been seeing for the last four years. Since he was my first t I have nothing to compare the ending to, but I guess it went well. I did tear up some, and didn't really say everything that was on my mind, but it still felt positive. I do appreciate the time we worked together.

Part of the last few sessions was working on finding a new t for me to see at the same center where we met. I narrowed it down to a couple of names with an older male t being my first choice. Unfortunately he was not available at the rate I pay now, so I ended up making an appointment with an older female.

My first session with her was yesterday, and although I made a second appointment, I really don't know if I want to work with her. She is nice, and has a background working with people with a similar past to mine, but I just can't see myself connecting with her. Part of it is that I would feel much more comfortable with a male. She also doesn't do e-mail. It's not something I would do extensively, but it is something that was useful for me with my last t. There are also two things that I did not like that she did. One was that I had to change my appointment. I called several days in advance and after talking we discovered our schedules wouldn't work this week. I said that is fine, and could we schedule something next week. She said she didn't think that would be good for me and she would squeeze me in this week. In a way I guess it's nice of her, but if I say I'm fine going a week without an appointment I am fine. The other thing was that as I was leaving she said that she looks forward to working with me. Once again I can see how she was being nice, but I found it to be presumptuous. I will go to my next appointment, but I'm debating telling her I don't think we are a good match.

Sorry for my ramblings. I'm hoping someone can give me advice on whether or not I should give this new t more time or not. I'm even slightly considering quitting therapy altogether, or at least take a hiatus.

I'm wondering if it might be worth trying some others if there are any suitable ones around that you haven't tried yet? I usually think it's best not to rush these kinds of decisions, but notice your feelings and pay attention to them. And you can change your decisions at any point of course.
I wouldn't like that presumptuous statement either. I saw a therapist for one session who said something similar and I didn't go back to him (for several reasons).

[MobiusPsyche]

I think it would be good to interview others as well. But if your situation is such that, realistically, it's her or no one, I might give it some time.

It depends on what you're going to therapy for, what you hope to achieve; and how close you are to achieving that.

I had one say they appreciate the opportunity to work with me at the end of the first session...which doesn't presume that I'm going to "choose" them...and that statement didn't bother me at all.

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[stopdog]

Another vote for interviewing some other ones. And for calling back and putting the next appointment off if that is really what you want. I don't let them coerce me into an appointment I don't want.