My therapist is a great guy; don't get me wrong. But jesus christ it is like I am talking to a wall when I am in therapy. I brought it up many times before that I talk better when there is a constant conversation from two parties, and not just one talking the whole time, to ask questions, help me delve into problems. But, he won't. I've been seeing this therapist on and off for 2 years and I think this is enough. I have a phone call with a therapist later today to discuss sessions and if it goes well I am getting rid of this therapist.
The only thing I like about the therapist I have now is his flexibility and texting. Even though I had session on Tuesday, he said he is booked for next week which is weird since I've been seeing him for years. I don't get how he didn't know about other patients that need sessions. I am going through a death in the family (baby cousin) and I just don't know. I am getting so fed up I have given him so many chances to talk, and I even told him this.

[Waterbear]

One T I tried in the middle I felt like I should just chuck my money in the bin and go and talk to my mirror. Works for some, not for others. Hope your phone thing goes well and you feel you could make the move.

[bounceback]

I am having the same problem. My new therapist doesn't like to talk. I like communication back and forth and feedback. I told her this. I can talk to my cat and or my sister if I want someone to just listen. At least the therapist can earn their money. Geez. I understand your frustration and you are not alone with this.

I have to have a dialogue. One of those sit and listen only kind of therapists would never work for me. If all I needed to do was to talk to myself, I could do that without paying for it I figure.

[Yzen]

My first T used to make me do most of the talking and try to come to my own conclusions. I told her in one session that I felt like I was doing too much of the talking and she told me that she was taught in school that therapy was 80% of the patient talking and 20% therapist. I decided to find a new T because I wanted that conversation you mentioned. My new therapist is conversational and I love it. I feel like we are having discussions and that she is offering more. It probably depends on what you are looking for.

It drives me nuts.. If i want someone to listen I would just text my friend, or vent online. I keep asking if he has anything to say and hes like "I'm just listening" UGHH!!

[Yzen]

I felt like I was paying to vent too. Much of the time she would start talking when our time was almost up.

You could try asking him questions. I used to do that. I would talk and vent and my first therapist wouldn't say anything. So, I would ask her questions like "Is there anything I could have done differently?". But, I found changing therapists worked for me.

[Coco3]

I would be frustrated too. I don't think I could have been with a T for 2 years that only sits and listens. I choked up a lot of times (and still do sometimes). Those would have been very silent sessions... Without the dialogue and my T asking questions and challenging me, therapy wouldn't have gotten me where I am today.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by psychmajor18

My therapist is a great guy; don't get me wrong. But jesus christ it is like I am talking to a wall when I am in therapy. I brought it up many times before that I talk better when there is a constant conversation from two parties, and not just one talking the whole time, to ask questions, help me delve into problems. But, he won't. I've been seeing this therapist on and off for 2 years and I think this is enough. I have a phone call with a therapist later today to discuss sessions and if it goes well I am getting rid of this therapist.
The only thing I like about the therapist I have now is his flexibility and texting. Even though I had session on Tuesday, he said he is booked for next week which is weird since I've been seeing him for years. I don't get how he didn't know about other patients that need sessions. I am going through a death in the family (baby cousin) and I just don't know. I am getting so fed up I have given him so many chances to talk, and I even told him this.

Agree, I need some feedback. I need conversation. If T sees I need to vent, she stays quiet and let's me do that.

Two years is way long enough to have tried your T. Interviewing other T's might be very helpful.

That would frustrate me, too. I definitely need the dialogue, asking/answering questions, especially since part of my therapy is dream work, just me telling her my dreams would not be of any use to me, I need her experience and her knowledge of my psyche to help me understand what I'm trying to tell myself through dreams. I hope you find what you need in the new t! best to you.

The phone call went well. Meeting a new therapist tomorrow.

Originally Posted by psychmajor18

My therapist is a great guy; don't get me wrong. But jesus christ it is like I am talking to a wall when I am in therapy. I brought it up many times before that I talk better when there is a constant conversation from two parties, and not just one talking the whole time, to ask questions, help me delve into problems. But, he won't. I've been seeing this therapist on and off for 2 years and I think this is enough. I have a phone call with a therapist later today to discuss sessions and if it goes well I am getting rid of this therapist.
The only thing I like about the therapist I have now is his flexibility and texting. Even though I had session on Tuesday, he said he is booked for next week which is weird since I've been seeing him for years. I don't get how he didn't know about other patients that need sessions. I am going through a death in the family (baby cousin) and I just don't know. I am getting so fed up I have given him so many chances to talk, and I even told him this.

Talking to much from the T can actually work against 'getting to the roots'.

Originally Posted by _Mouse

Talking to much from the T can actually work against 'getting to the roots'.

I don't think the OP is wanting the T to talk "too" much, but to simply engage verbal in sessions instead of just sitting there saying pretty much nothing. Many of us have found that a good balance of give and take, talk and listen -- actual dialogue and active verbal engagement -- to work the best in order to truly get "to the roots" of our issues and move forward.

Psychmajor, glad you've found someone to give a try. Hope it works out better for you.

Originally Posted by lolagrace

I don't think the OP is wanting the T to talk "too" much, but to simply engage verbal in sessions instead of just sitting there saying pretty much nothing. Many of us have found that a good balance of give and take, talk and listen -- actual dialogue and active verbal engagement -- to work the best in order to truly get "to the roots" of our issues and move forward.

Psychmajor, glad you've found someone to give a try. Hope it works out better for you.

"sitting there, pretty much saying nothing". Do you understands how therapy works?

[Waterbear]

Therapy works in different ways for different people.

Originally Posted by _Mouse

"sitting there, pretty much saying nothing". Do you understands how therapy works?

Absolutely, and it worked quite successfully for me (and for many others) with dialogue between therapist and client. I know it does for you too because you talk about discussions you have had with your therapist, so I'm not sure what you are getting at.

Psychmajor is clearly not finding therapy useful or successful without that kind of interaction, so finding a therapist who uses more of an interactive style makes sense.

[michellerb]

I can't figure out why I'm paying for my therapist either.

Met with the new therapist today. He is much more engaging and actually asks questions and doesn't sit there while I say "so.. Any response" with a "just listening" response back. He is a very nice guy and seems sweet. Super chilled out and funny

[bounceback]

I am thinking about doing the same.