[CyclingPsych]

Hey everyone. Tomorrow and Thursday I have therapy. He wants to get into my past situation (abuse, not going into detail on here). And, I am very scared. I am scare that I will be anxious, have an anxiety attack or complete dissociate. I get very scared when I talk about it... How did you guys go with telling T about something drastic in life, and how did T react?
I just started seeing this T last week, about and he wants to get my life story out with these few sessions, then it will be once a week.
Honestly, I feel like I will just drag the conversation somewhere else and completely skip over talking about the important stuff.

If you have just started seeing him, you probably don't feel safe enough to disclose all this stuff to him, and he shouldn't be putting you under pressure to do so.
There are still unexplored avenues in my history in therapy and I've been seeing my T for 18 months.
Tell your T what you are comfortable to share at this stage, and let him know that you aren't comfortable sharing more yet. If he tries to pressure you to disclose everything I would see that as a red flag.

[Waterbear]

I haven't gone there yet. T knows something happened wat back when and might hazard a guess but I can't even contemplate talking about it yet. She showed me some pictures the other day, completely harmless, meant for kids. All the pictures had two figures in them, like morphs I suppose and they were all in different stances and poses. I think we were talking about how close I let people but all I could see was that they had no clothes on and in some pictures the figures were too close for my liking. Well, it would have been an ideal time to bring it up but I freaked and turned the paper over and said I didn't like it. That is freaking for me.

Sorry, I have verbal diarrhoea tonight. It is early to feel like you have to raise these subjects. We are in month two of twice a week and I am no way ready to discuss this yet so I can't help I am afraid. I think we know when the time is right for us. Are you in short term therapy. I know I got to it quicker with last T, but just very vague details. She pushed me to tell because it was charity funded T and we needed to get to the root of the problem to help me find the right long term T. Still wasn't nice feeling pushed when you aren't ready, can be like the abuse again.

Don't do anything that isn't right for you, you have to be able to trust your T.

[Argonautomobile]

I agree with Echoes that it's still very early. Don't push yourself for HIS benefit--this is your therapy and I don't see anything very therapeutic in having an anxiety attack in session.

It took me six months to bring this up with my T, and I did so with a letter. If you do want to talk about this, or you want your T to know things but don't think you can verbally relay them, maybe consider writing it down and handing it over?

Good luck with everything. I hope you find something that works for you.

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by CyclingPsych

How did you guys go with telling T about something drastic in life, and how did T react?

Mine did not react at all. From what I understand, she doesn't think it's a benefit to go into while I'm dealing with current day crises.

It sounds like your therapist wants to talk about it, though, so just be your own guide and don't rush just because he has decided this.

[kecanoe]

Just say what you want to tell him at this point. Be vague about it if you want.

And if you do have an anxiety attack or dissociate, your t ought to know how to help you. And if he doesn't, I would find a new t.

Earlier on, we didn't talk many details. It was more generally about what happened. The details came later. Did I dissociate, become anxious, cry, hyperventilate even. Yup. It was okay though. T was quite capable of helping through that.

[Ididitmyway]

None of my Ts ever pushed me to talk about anything. I talked about past abuse and some drastic things, as well as everything else, when I wanted and as much or as little as I wanted.

While, I think, it's perfectly okay for a therapist to suggest that some things are important to discuss, it's the client who decides if they want to discuss it and when they want to do that.

I cringe every time I read someone say "my T wants me to do this or that". I don't believe a lot of progress can happen if things are pushed and if the client isn't ready and isn't necessarily willing to work on them. Emotions and memories cannot be forced to come to the surface. They come when they are ready to come and that is usually when the person feels safe enough to process them.