[Lotus3571]

New here. My old therapist (from a few months back) has become friends on social media with a very close friend of mine. I don't know how to feel. Maybe like boundaries have been crossed? Am I being unreasonable?

[Skeezyks]

Hello Lotus3571: Welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I take it you're not seeing this therapist anymore. She / he certainly has the right to befriend someone who, as it happens, is a close friend of yours. Of course, anything that you discussed with this therapist is confidential. If you find that confidential information is being shared with your mutual friend, then of course this is a problem. Under such a circumstance you might even want to go so far as to file a formal complaint with relevant professional organizations or government agencies. However, assuming that nothing such as this occurs, it seems to me this is "just one of those things."

[atisketatasket]

It really depends on how close they actually are. Are they friends in real life? Or just Facebook friends?

[luvnola]

I happen to be friends with someone who is friends with my t. My friend doesn't know this person is my t and my t didn't know I was friends with this person. The only problem, imo, would be an unethical t who discusses her clients with her friends.

[Lotus3571]

Thanks everyone. I messaged the friend and asked to please not make me a subject of discussion with my old T. That's what I was worried about. They are friends beyond social media as well I guess.

[Ididitmyway]

You are not being unreasonable. While your old T is not technically prohibited from befriending your friends, for you personally it does cross some personal boundary. A T-patient is not an equal relationship. A T is more like a mentor than a friend and by becoming friends with your friend, the T is kind of changing the nature of your relationship with them even though it's not done directly. It's kind of similar to your parent becoming a friend with your friend. I don't think any parent with healthy boundaries would do that.

So, again, this is not a matter of legality and not even formal professional ethics. It's a matter of just basic human ethics. Does your old T know that the person they have befriended is your close friend? If yes, it's kind of insensitive thing for them to do. To me it ruins the sacredness and the purity of their professional bond with you.

In any case, regardless of what you decide to do with this, your feelings are valid. Yes, this is an awkward situation for you to say the least.