[lifelongsojourn]

Lately, I have been going into therapy and coming out much more depressed as a result of feeling overly attached to my therapist. I have difficulty controlling my anger and my T and I often get into fights and it feels so overwhelming because I'm very hypersensitive. I really don't want to go into my session on Tuesday because I feel like I need some space from her. I'm just so attached to her that I can't imagine canceling when I count down the days until I see her again. I don't know what to do and don't know what would be more painful. I'm not sure if anybody has had a similar situation, but if so, I'd love some advice!

[Loco4]

I'm in a very similar place, except without the anger, I feel rejected and hurt. I want to close off, but I'm too attached too. Hugs

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I have been in a similar situation with my t. We fight and make up then fight again. I always feel like quitting and cancelling but I never do. I go back and work through the ruptures. I am not saying this is the best thing for to do but it works for me.
It sounds like the pain of not seeing her is going to be greater than the pain of going? Could you let her know that you are greenling a little vulnerable after your last rupture before you go in?
I always text t after a session like that and tell her that she made me very angry etc.. And I am quitting. Sometimes she texts back and says I can really hear your anger, look forward to hearing all about it Tuesday, see you then. T.
I figured out then when t gets really close to me, that's when I will try to push her away. I hear things she says differently or don't clarify with her in the moment what she means and so I go away and get really angry and then try to push her away. It hadn't worked yet and I think t won't let it happen. It sounds like you can and do express your anger in that moment with your t. I am wondering how your t responds to your anger, does she get defensive?

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[lifelongsojourn]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

I have been in a similar situation with my t. We fight and make up then fight again. I always feel like quitting and cancelling but I never do. I go back and work through the ruptures. I am not saying this is the best thing for to do but it works for me.
It sounds like the pain of not seeing her is going to be greater than the pain of going? Could you let her know that you are greenling a little vulnerable after your last rupture before you go in?
I always text t after a session like that and tell her that she made me very angry etc.. And I am quitting. Sometimes she texts back and says I can really hear your anger, look forward to hearing all about it Tuesday, see you then. T.
I figured out then when t gets really close to me, that's when I will try to push her away. I hear things she says differently or don't clarify with her in the moment what she means and so I go away and get really angry and then try to push her away. It hadn't worked yet and I think t won't let it happen. It sounds like you can and do express your anger in that moment with your t. I am wondering how your t responds to your anger, does she get defensive?

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Your experience sounds quite similar to mine... My T and I often fight and then we always seem to make-up at some point. I know this is our pattern, but even the pattern is very difficult with all its ups and downs. Our recent fight was about something she has now clarified after me going a year thinking something was different (too lengthy to post here but it has to do with attachment stuff). When we fight, usually I will leave her a bunch of voicemails saying I'm quitting or I'll be very proactive and cancel my sessions. When this happens, she usually calls me back and says something similar to yours... "We can talk about this Tuesday" and the cycle continues! When I get angry in session, things can get really intense as she sometimes gets angry too. Sometimes she'll yell back at me or just get really irritated and sigh and then I'll go hide behind her bookshelf.

[Waterbear]

I am sorry but there is no excuse for her shouting at you. She is the one who is supposed to remain calm and constant while you are being what you are being if that makes sense. How to repair it, by the sounds of it find a new T but that isn't my place to say. I hope you find a way through your ruptures.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I agree that your therapist should not be yelling or shouting at you. When I have had ruptures the best thing is to talk with your T about it and try to work it out. They are hard but sometimes they can make you closer.