I am curious as to what you consider healing and how it happens for you? I know it is different for everyone and healing comes in many forms. For me it was when my t really understood me, it doesn't happen very often as usually she will not understand my experiences or misinterprets them.
This particular session she shared that she had a similar experience with her parent, she really heard my pain and held it. I felt contained and safe with her. She read me one of her favourite poems, it related to this experience and really resonated with me. I felt more connected to her than ever before. Have you experienced a deep level of healing in therapy?

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[stopdog]

I will be interested to see what people say. Healing is not a word I would use in reference to therapy. I have not experienced even the shallowest level of it at a therapy appointment or due to therapy.

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Have you experienced a deep level of healing in therapy?

No. Unless, by healing, you mean hanging upside down over a belching bonfire while your flesh melts off the bone. In that case, quite often.

I am very interested too. What word do you associate most with therapy, or what word is most appropriate for you and your therapy Stopdog?

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Originally Posted by ruh roh

No. Unless, by healing, you mean hanging upside down over a belching bonfire while your flesh melts off the bone. In that case, quite often.

Oh dear, that sounds very anti - healing (if that is a term) sounds like your t roasts you on a bonfire until you are tender!

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[stopdog]

Frustrating in terms of trying to figure out how it was supposed to help.
Now that I just use it in a different way - a sort of hobby or game I suppose. The woman sets traps and I see if I can avoid them.

[ruh roh]

I wish they would be more clear about it.

Originally Posted by stopdog

Frustrating in terms of trying to figure out how it was supposed to help.
Now that I just use it in a different way - a sort of hobby or game I suppose. The woman sets traps and I see if I can avoid them.

I suppose it is frustrating trying to figure out how it helps. I know how it helps me but that came after five long years of training and studying the process. If someone were to be completely open and honest about what was happening, would that be healing for you?

Originally Posted by ruh roh

I wish they would be more clear about it.

So do I, I believe some of them are but more aren't.

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Originally Posted by monalisasmile

....Have you experienced a deep level of healing in therapy?

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Yes, I have. There are some crystal-clear moments like when she said (in response to me sighing in exasperation 'Can't you just FIX me already?') "Art, you are not broken." and when she said (in response to me thanking her for not being hurt by how I had explained something) "That's because I see you."

[atisketatasket]

I have had, I figure, about 75 therapy sessions (not counting first sessions) with four therapists, 70 of those in the past 15 months. I would not describe any of them as healing. Frustrating, demoralizing, soul-sucking, yes.

But I am not sure I even believe that therapy can heal. I do think it is possible that therapy can help one cope better with life. But I don't think it can heal.

Originally Posted by artemis-within

Yes, I have. There are some crystal-clear moments like when she said (in response to me sighing in exasperation 'Can't you just FIX me already?') "Art, you are not broken." and when she said (in response to me thanking her for not being hurt by how I had explained something) "That's because I see you."

That sounds like an amazing session Artemis, you and your t have a really great relationship


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Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I have had, I figure, about 75 therapy sessions (not counting first sessions) with four therapists, 70 of those in the past 15 months. I would not describe any of them as healing. Frustrating, demoralizing, soul-sucking, yes.

But I am not sure I even believe that therapy can heal. I do think it is possible that therapy can help one cope better with life. But I don't think it can heal.

I believe it can heal but it also depends on what you consider healing and if you are in a good place to receive it.

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[stopdog]

[QUOTE=monalisasmile;5107751]I suppose it is frustrating trying to figure out how it helps. I know how it helps me but that came after five long years of training and studying the process. If someone were to be completely open and honest about what was happening, would that be healing for you?
/QUOTE]

Not healing. I don't see a therapist to get healed. I am not injured or ill.
Possibly less frustrating.

[awkwardlyyours]

I don't think most have a clue on what it's really like for the client -- at least mine doesn't although she's been in therapy herself.

I suppose if you really stretch the definition of healing, my most recent one was the most useful -- in her infinite wisdom, T finally decided to point out that what I've been experiencing most of my life is dissociation and panic attacks and the panic attacks are increasing because therapy is going where it is. But oops, sorry, no way to stop them from happening. And yeah, nothing I can do differently either, because my current method of dealing with them (no thanks to T) is apparently what the best "evidence-based treatments" have to offer.

So yeah, it was "healing" to have those labels (I at least know I'm not as crazy as I thought) but her response felt like she was analytically commenting on a dissected frog or the weather patterns in some random country or something (her style works for me but I wouldn't exactly call it emotionally healing by any stretch of the imagination). And other than putting a name on what's been happening, she had absolutely nothing useful to offer.

[Waterbear]

I think I have had several sessions that I would call healingg. To me it is repairing the damage of the past. Having positive experiences is therefore healing to me. With old T there were two notable ones. First was when I clearly regressed. I could feel a shift, as if the child in me kept out to the front and shouted 'please see me' and she did. Her body shifted forwards, her voice softened even more and she spoke using language appropriate to a child, talking to me about animals. The second was when we were discussing an incident that occurred on mothers day when I felt abandoned by my entire family and she said 'I thought of you on mother's day' and I was able to look into her eyes and knew that it was true, and saw that she really and truly cared.

With new T I froze and started to fall away from her when she asked me something and she saw this and asked if she could come and sit next to me. She fetched some stuffed toys and I just sat there holding them with her sat close to me. We talked about animals again. A common theme here. The last session was healing too because it was a tough session, I thought she was going to say we couldn't continue but she didn't, she has assured me that we can continue and she asked if I needed a hug, and it was a real hug, not just a cursory, I feel obliged to do this kind of hug.

These things are things I will always have with me and are, as such, healing for me. Anything I can take with me and add to my 'power bank' can only be a good thing.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

I believe it can heal but it also depends on what you consider healing and if you are in a good place to receive it.

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Or, it's possible that people look for different things in therapy. What you and Artemis describe as healing sessions is what I would call experiencing deep validation from your therapist. Which for the client who needs that could be considered healing.

But I don't look for validation in therapy. I don't think there is anything fundamentally wrong with me, just a need to change some things in the way I approach life, i.e., I am not broken. I know what my experiences were, I know how bad or not they were, I know how I have reacted to them and what I want to change about that reaction, and for that it isn't necessary for me hear about similar experiences by the therapist. So for me therapy is not healing and it has nothing to do with what kind of place I'm in.

I have certainly found healing through this process of therapy. It wasn't particular sessions that I can put my finger on though; it was more of a long, slow process.

When I started therapy I felt very broken. I was severely depressed, haunted by memories and flashbacks, turned very much inwardly and not in a healthy introspect way -- more like sucked into a black hole of myself and nothingness. I was in pain. I was really quite ill. I was suffering and that suffering was going to kill me; I am sure of that.

In therapy, the process of healing involved being able to talk, to start purging myself of my past so that I could live in the present. It was a bit like being inside a pressure cooker with a valve that had been stuck for ages but slowly that pressure started finally releasing so that I could breathe a bit, and then move a bit, and then eventually the lid could safely be taken off. As the intensity of my pain started reducing, my depression became something I could manage, my PTSD symptoms started lessening, I started engaging in my life again, and I knew I would survive.

For me, that was the process of healing. For me, it happened mostly through the work my therapists helped me walk through over a long period of time (and with the help of a very skilled and caring pdoc working with him). I did the work, and the healing came from within, but without those therapists and pdocs to help me walk that journey, I would not have found the way on my own -- death would have found me first.

So yes, therapy has been healing and life-saving for me.

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

That sounds like an amazing session Artemis, you and your t have a really great relationship


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We really do and I am so thankful. Those things were said during separate sessions and they were pretty far apart, but yeah. Healing moments.... so many others but those two were biggies.

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[Sarah1985]

When I was dealing with some intense trauma work and my therapist came over and sat by me and held my hand. I've always felt untouchable and ruined. But her holding my hand was very healing.

[laxer12]

I always feel the best after sessions where I say stuff that is difficult for me to say and T has really good, thoughtful responses to it. When I feel heard, understood, and cared for, I get a deep sense of healing and support from her.

Last session was very healing. I was able to be upfront and honest about my feelings about leaving her and she really understood my pain and hurt.

[unaluna]

One session stands out for me. My t had double-booked my hour with a new client couple. He rescheduled them and saw me. What's the expression, the dam broke through? All of a sudden I saw how I always played second fiddle to my brother and his gfs/wives/whatevers. For once now I was coming first (sic). It was a very big deal.

Eta - there have been other scheduling issues. But none ever turned out like this one. It was like hitting the lottery.

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by unaluna

One session stands out for me. My t had double-booked my hour with a new client couple. He rescheduled them and saw me. What's the expression, the dam broke through? All of a sudden I saw how I always played second fiddle to my brother and his gfs/wives/whatevers. For once now I was coming first (sic). It was a very big deal.

Eta - there have been other scheduling issues. But none ever turned out like this one. It was like hitting the lottery.

I'm glad you had that experience, unaluna. I had the opposite and was the one sent away. (I think I need to revisit the Does Your Therapist Like You thread and adjust down...)

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

I'm glad you had that experience, unaluna. I had the opposite and was the one sent away. (I think I need to revisit the Does Your Therapist Like You thread and adjust down...)

That's why I said it was different other times! I remember now your being sent away. Usually I would offer up the time. Maybe a person can't fake that level of patheticness? If you are mad enough to want it, t thinks you're healthy enough to give it up? The winning was not in being chosen. It was that, all the other times, I had been UNAWARE of how much it bothered me. No room for those feelings ever to be witnessed. I think I get what you're saying now. So where are your feelings?

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by unaluna

That's why I said it was different other times! I remember now your being sent away. Usually I would offer up the time. Maybe a person can't fake that level of patheticness? If you are mad enough to want it, t thinks you're healthy enough to give it up? The winning was not in being chosen. It was that, all the other times, I had been UNAWARE of how much it bothered me. No room for those feelings ever to be witnessed. I think I get what you're saying now. So where are your feelings?

Ah. Got it.

I didn't hide my feelings because I haven't mastered that ability. I was crying. It had been a stressful day with a family medical crisis that brought up a lot of old stuff. She said it was distressing and then well, bye. I then had the walk of shame past the chosen client and had to drive 45 min to get home. She emailed later to offer another appt. And because was in so much stress over the real life thing, I took it. When I had my rescheduled appt, she apologized. I say yeah yeah, I would like to talk about me now, and went on to have the session I had intended prior to being dumped and paraded past the winner.

[awkwardlyyours]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

Ah. Got it.

I didn't hide my feelings because I haven't mastered that ability. I was crying. It had been a stressful day with a family medical crisis that brought up a lot of old stuff. She said it was distressing and then well, bye. I then had the walk of shame past the chosen client and had to drive 45 min to get home. She emailed later to offer another appt. And because was in so much stress over the real life thing, I took it. When I had my rescheduled appt, she apologized. I say yeah yeah, I would like to talk about me now, and went on to have the session I had intended prior to being dumped and paraded past the winner.

Am sorry, this sounds beyond brutal.

I don't know how you had the stomach / courage / whatever you want to call it, to go back and see her again but (at the great risk of potentially reinforcing some messed-up notion that you should handle every piece of f-ed-up crap thrown at you because you have) I think that is the winning-est thing to do.