[missbella]

There is a blog post and ongoing discussion about the negative side of psychotherapy, particularly its power imbalance. You might find this discussion useful if you found therapy harmful or ineffective. The extensive comments include links to other blogs, writings and books around the subject.

Bad Therapy? A Disgruntled Ex-Psychotherapy Client Speaks Her Piece.

I don't recommend this if you're happy in therapy, for you'll likely find it provocative. Likewise the comments section includes one poster who disagrees with the DID diagnosis, so avoid reading if that triggers you.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by missbella

There is a blog post and ongoing discussion about the negative side of psychotherapy, particularly its power imbalance. You might find this discussion useful if you found therapy harmful or ineffective. The extensive comments include links to other blogs, writings and books around the subject.

Bad Therapy? A Disgruntled Ex-Psychotherapy Client Speaks Her Piece.

I don't recommend this if you're happy in therapy, for you'll likely find it provocative. Likewise the comments section includes one poster who disagrees with the DID diagnosis, so avoid reading if that triggers you.

Thanks! I'll take a look.

The link is here: http://disequilibrium1.wordpress.com...aks-her-piece/

[CantExplain]

This person had some bad experiences with very bad Ts. I wonder if anyone has ever blogged the terminally bad experiences they have had with good Ts?

[ultramar]

I'm happy in my therapy, but I found this very interesting and thought-provoking.

Amongst many other things, you have an interesting take on a topic that has actually come up here lately -'re-parenting' therapy (or some form of it, it no doubt varies a good deal). On the face of it, I agree with some of what you say -though have not experienced this type of therapy myself. I had never heard the point of view of someone who has experienced it, but did not benefit, so it is eye-opening to read your thoughts on the subject. I'll quote the paragraph here (hope you don't mind, missbella):

However I see the therapist-as-parent as the most misguided treatment model. When I’m a 35-year-old, talking to a 45-year-old, we’re two adults. If the doctor play acts I’m the child and he’s the parent, we both travel to a fantasy land which undermines my autonomy and our authenticity together. He is reinforcing my self-image as powerless – a damaging metaphor for my life but even more harmful when he fails to control his agenda and anger. Also he communicates that he holds some magic secret I’ll never fully receive. “Reparenting” is a flawed concept—adults no longer have a child’s hardwiring, and can’t return back in time. We can only go forward.

[missbella]

Thank you for your nice responses. Feel free to quote away if you'd like.

To clarify, though one therapist team was scolding and poor. I had two other therapists at different times who I consider kind and ethical.

However, the process took me in a negative direction, essentially directing me toward depression by dwelling in the slights, wounds, damage and victimhood. I never "worked through" anything -I only moved to a woeful, self-pitying mindset. I had a tendency to idolize confident personalities, this was compounded by the therapists' communications which encouraged me to see them as omniscient. I also feel that the therapists misled me to unrealistic expectations what therapy can do for me.

The bottom line is how therapy affected me real life. It only planted much self-absorption, sadness and distorted thinking I carried into relationships. The "parental," parallels of therapy, the power imbalance and as well as psychologizing life events left me quite a mess, in retrospect.

I won't claim to be a perfect emotional specimen now, , but I've greatly reduced my anxiety and deference over the years simply through time experience and other modes like body work. This what I needed, and I doubt therapy would have helped in my case.

Please take this as a personal narrative, rather than a blanket indictment of therapy. Everyone's mileage varies.

[stopdog]

I read the post a long time ago. I found it quite interesting and probably more common than people admit.

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by missbella

I don't recommend this if you're happy in therapy, for you'll likely find it provocative.

I didn't find it provocative, if you meant that it would be challenging to my world view or my experience. I don't have any trouble believing that there are bad therapists-- I have briefly experienced them, but emerged unscathed-- and that people get bad therapy through no fault of their own.

I did find it rather over the top with generalizations and with an axe to grind, as opposed to a more reflective and neutral narration of an experience. In my opinion, writing is rarely persuasive or informative when the person writing lacks a more balanced perspective or compassion for herself and others.

[ultramar]

I did find it rather over the top with generalizations and with an axe to grind, as opposed to a more reflective and neutral narration of an experience.

Maybe, but I think it's difficult to be 'neutral' about therapy -I'm not sure any of us are, whether it's about positive or negative experiences.

I had what I would consider bad therapy only one time a very long time ago from a young T that was in her graduate phase and I was taken on for free and she taped the sessions and used them in her class.
She assessed that I "hated women" because I cheated on my girlfriend and was upset with my mom because she wouldnt let her baby play football for fear of being hurt.
I told her she was full of $#it and that was the last time I spoke to her.

All my other therapy sessions have been either positive or good....I mean therapy is not foolproof for anyone, so at times I was happy with it and other times not so happy but when you are being told about your issues, you either accept it or you dont....and with the exception of hating women, all of my therapy was pretty much spot on.
I miss my current T terribly....she is the best ever! But my benefits changed and now I cannot afford the frickin deductibles so I am on my own.

[tinyrabbit]

I find it virtually unreadable and agree with Anne's post.

[elliemay]

Overall, a diatribe, but this:

"However I see the therapist-as-parent as the most misguided treatment model. When I’m a 35-year-old, talking to a 45-year-old, we’re two adults. If the doctor play acts I’m the child and he’s the parent, we both travel to a fantasy land which undermines my autonomy and our authenticity together. He is reinforcing my self-image as powerless – a damaging metaphor for my life but even more harmful when he fails to control his agenda and anger. Also he communicates that he holds some magic secret I’ll never fully receive. “Reparenting” is a flawed concept—adults no longer have a child’s hardwiring, and can’t return back in time. We can only go forward."

In my opinion and experience is likely true. We certainly do not get "do-overs". We can only start right here right now.

[CantExplain]

"Flawed" is not the same as "useless".
Most of the ideas in therapy are vague and unproven. And yet it works!

[unaluna]

It sounds like she's learning what was wrong with her therapy. And that's right - the mistakes you make IRL are the ones you make in t. You have a way of dealing with people that doesn't serve you. Even if she thought it did. She found out it didn t. Don't shoot the messenger. And is she complaining that the ts didn't call her out on being fat? Or what? What are the visible signs that could cause fatigue? Anyway, There sure are a lot of comments!!

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Thanks! I'll take a look.

The link is here: http://disequilibrium1.wordpress.com...aks-her-piece/

MissBella, thanks for this! On her "About" page is a link updated 6/12/16 and is a second essay under her pen name, Madeline Aimes.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I think my messed up rock therapist kind of harmed me. I think parts of therapy can be harming. Dependency, attachment, transference, the intense longing for your T. All of that stuff can keep you in therapy even if its not helpful or healthy.

[kecanoe]

The page keeps blanking out when I try to read it. Wonder if that is some kind of message?

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by Anne2.0

I don't have any trouble believing that there are bad therapists-- I have briefly experienced them, but emerged unscathed-- and that people get bad therapy through no fault of their own.

Bad therapy can come from so-called "good" therapists. I know Missbella has made this point before. Most people think of bad therapy as, by necessity, involving egregious abuses, sexual misconduct, blatantly crazy therapists. Total nonsense. From my own experience and from extensive reading, I believe that a significant number of well-meaning therapists do a great deal of harm, of a more subtle and insidious sort that the vague professional ethics codes exclude. I gather that this sort of harm is under-reported, misunderstood, and swept under the carpet.

Originally Posted by Anne2.0

I did find it rather over the top with generalizations and with an axe to grind, as opposed to a more reflective and neutral narration of an experience. In my opinion, writing is rarely persuasive or informative when the person writing lacks a more balanced perspective or compassion for herself and others.

I find the writing on the blog and in the commentary some of the most insightful and compelling stuff I have read on therapy. Has been instrumental in helping me cope with horribly destructive therapy. Most of what is written about therapy is from the biz, for the biz, and is idealized and deluded and self-serving. This blog is a sorely needed counterpoint.

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by unaluna

And that's right - the mistakes you make IRL are the ones you make in t. You have a way of dealing with people that doesn't serve you. Even if she thought it did. She found out it didn t. Don't shoot the messenger.

Ah yes, the time honored tradition of blaming the client for failed therapy. All the kids are doing it! How one could read that article and not conclude that most of the sanity and reason was on the client side of those relationships... beyond me.

[missbella]

Originally Posted by Anne2.0

I did find it rather over the top with generalizations and with an axe to grind, as opposed to a more reflective and neutral narration of an experience. In my opinion, writing is rarely persuasive or informative when the person writing lacks a more balanced perspective or compassion for herself and others.

This is a three year old post. Just to clarify, I wrote both the blog and the Madeline Aimes piece, so you're decreeing what my personal narrative is "supposed" to be. (Isn't argument with a stranger's personal narrative making innumerable assumptions?)

One of my personal criticisms of the therapy culture is that some of its consumers seem to emulate how they see therapy mode-- that it's exquisitely wonderful to "critique" a stranger's perspective, compassion and self compassion.

I personally find ad hominem jibing, not to mention bogus clairvoyance, a counterproductive path to interpersonal happiness.

I like this quote from your blog: 'I would balance discussion of weaknesses and pain with discussion of strength, health and optimism.'

I like your blog.