[granite1]

when my T and i were talking about her fee and when i told her what i could afford she said that was a lot and did i realize this is not a short term thing and that we are in this for the long term . it kind of got me thinking what is the reason for long term T . i have already been in T for 5 years and still am unable to really talk about my trauma . i admit i am doing better in T because for the first 3 years i was not able to talk at all but omg how long is she talking . so how long has people been in long term T and how is it justified

[stopdog]

To whom do you need justify it?

[granite1]

Originally Posted by stopdog

To whom do you need justify it?

i guess to myself mostly

[stopdog]

Then for me it would be because I had a use for it.

[dizzydoo]

I've heard of people being in long term therapy for years, usually due to severe trauma.

I've had therapy with several different Ts on and off for 9 years. However most of that was free through university and work, and only recently I have started seeing a T privately and paying myself.

It is expensive but I justify the cost thinking about other regular commitments people make e.g. personal trainer and gym membership. In the way that people use a personal trainer and gym to keep their body healthy, I use T to help me keep my mind healthy.

There isn't a need to race to heal. Healing takes time. Long term therapy doesn't mean you can't take breaks.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by dizzydoo

It is expensive but I justify the cost thinking about other regular commitments people make e.g. personal trainer and gym membership. In the way that people use a personal trainer and gym to keep their body healthy, I use T to help me keep my mind healthy.

That's how I think of it, too! And in the case of marriage counseling, to keep our marriage healthier (or, at some times, just keep it alive)/be better parents.

[Luce]

I was in long term t for nearly a decade dealing with trauma and its lovely aftermath. I quit t before the work was finished - there is still lots to do, but finding the right t and being able to afford it isn't so easy anymore.
How is it justified? For me, by the healing that came from it. We are far from done, but we are not a triggery dissociative mess most of the time now either. That alone is worth every cent spent on therapy.

[thesnowqueen]

Anything that improves one's quality of life is justified? The idea that I had not gone through anything 'bad enough' to be entitled to therapy, and that it was an unwarranted self-indulgence prevented me from getting help earlier. If I had, I may not have lost a decade to very severe depression. I think many people who would benefit from therapy have some sense that they are not 'entitled' to it.

[skeksi]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Then for me it would be because I had a use for it.

This is how I see it, too. I have been in long-term therapy and there is no sign of it ending. But my quality of life is vastly improved and I believe it can get even better, so I keep going, because it's helping (even when it's painful).

I've been seeing current t for what will be 5 years in October, and you know I struggle with this "justifying" stuff on a pretty regular basis. I think the others have good thoughts here.

[unaluna]

One, just to keep me from offing myself. The messages from FOO that they wanted me gone were / are pretty intense. Thing is, stuff from foo seems fixed, innate, unquestionable. Like eye color. But psychological stuff - if its good - you can keep it. If its bad, ie not conducive to the survival of YOU, no longer the species so much - nowadays we see a t?

[kecanoe]

I've been seeing T1 for 9 years.
I don't know how I would justify it. There have been several reasons to continue but at this point I see t1 because I want to. Because it would be hard to stop and I am not willing to hurt the little parts nor do I feel confident that I could control them.
Seeing my ts gives me structure for my week, it gives me something to hold onto when I feel like I am falling apart.
If I am honest about it, I see T3 because she is really helping. Brain spotting is weird but it helps me. I see T2 because I can't figure out how to terminate with her since she is in the same practice as T3 and she referred me to T3. And I often find the sessions helpful. I just don't think I "need" them. And I see T1 because I am attached to him and I plan to do so until the littles are ready. How will I know this? I have no clue.

[Yours_Truly]

I think I'd be better off today if I'd been in one-on-one long term therapy for the last 15 yrs.

[bounceback]

i have been in long-term therapy for years. It was justified because I need it and it was helpful. Now that I don't need it so much I only go occasionally. It is up to the individual.

[rainbow8]

I've been in therapy off and on for about 25 years with 5 different Ts. I'm still trying to figure myself out, and my T helps. Life happens, and I feel better when I have someone to talk to about it, however the main goal is to build up my Self sufficiently so I don't need my T.

[ScarletPimpernel]

The longest long-term therapy I've been in is 4 years. But I've been in the mental health system for a long time (groups, board and care, outpatient, etc.) I'm coming to a point where the T no longer teaches me things. She is just a support. Someone to remind me of coping skills, mantras, someone to help calm me down. I need to learn how to internalize these things for myself. And I think my T and Pdoc are right: therapy has kind of ruined my life in the sense that I no longer understand how to have a normal friendship. All I know is how professional relationships work. And what I need is friends (I have none currently and am afraid of it).

So my new goals after I terminate with this T is to be T free. It's scary. But I think it's time. There's really no more processing past traumas. It is what it is now. Of course, I'll go back to therapy when I need it: someone dies, a major life change, or even just a couple refresher sessions.

[JaneTennison1]

People spend money on all kinds of things just to survive. This is your survival. This is ok.

[Argonautomobile]

I remember that people get butt implants. That usually makes therapy sessions seem less frivolous.

Then I remember that I really do try not to be the type of person who needs to denigrate others to feel better about myself. I tell myself not to be so judgemental--that it's none of my ******** business what other people spent their money on. And if those people are consenting adults and their butt implants make them happy, then by god leave them to it.

Then I remember that if I can forgive other people for their butt implants, I can forgive myself for my mental heath care.

[ruh roh]

granite, are you asking how people come to terms with needing long term therapy, or how therapists determine what kinds of conditions generally require long term therapy?

If it's the former, I don't think I have come to terms with it, but as long as I'm getting something out of it, I will keep going and try not to think about how long this will take.

If it's the later, my therapist has said that severe trauma requires long term therapy, but I am sure she would see anyone long term as long as they were getting something out of it.

I like argonautomobile's butt implant analogy. Honestly, of all the things to spend money on, therapy should be the one thing people get thanked for doing.

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

Honestly, of all the things to spend money on, therapy should be the one thing people get thanked for doing.

It's a public service, damn it.

You're welcome.

[granite1]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

granite, are you asking how people come to terms with needing long term therapy, or how therapists determine what kinds of conditions generally require long term therapy?

If it's the former, I don't think I have come to terms with it, but as long as I'm getting something out of it, I will keep going and try not to think about how long this will take.

If it's the later, my therapist has said that severe trauma requires long term therapy, but I am sure she would see anyone long term as long as they were getting something out of it.

I like argonautomobile's butt implant analogy. Honestly, of all the things to spend money on, therapy should be the one thing people get thanked for doing.

thanks kind of both but mostly the latter . when my T said to me we are in this for long term i was like how do you know . but i guess she knows because of my history .

[ruh roh]

Yes. That's exactly how I would take it.

[awkwardlyyours]

Granite -- agree with those who said that it makes sense to do it as long as one wants to. Current T has told me multiple times that her approach is that if one wants therapy for life, there's nothing wrong with it and lots of things right with it.

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

I remember that people get butt implants.

I just googled butt implants since I wasn't aware of their existence. I'm now suitably enlightened.

Also, I am pretty sure Google will show me ads for the same for eternity since unfortunately, I did it while signed in to my email account.

I had a wise teacher friend who came up with a good answer to the common question English teachers get from students: "How long should this paper be?" Her answer: "As long as a string." How long a paper (or in this case therapy) should be/take depends on so many factors that basically how long it will be comes down to it will be as long as it takes to come to a satisfactory ending.

For me, all combined, my therapy took around 15 years or so. Last time through was ten years or so of that. Seemed really long and remarkably short at the same time now that I look back on it. What I do know is that, for me, it was the right length. Any shorter would have left things in a mess. Any longer would have stopped really having much effect. When the time was right to stop, I knew it and it was actually a really easy decision. If I had tried to stop much sooner, I would definitely not have been ready. You just have to find your own way through it. There's no real time table.