[just2b]

So T lied. However it was not anything big, but can't feel okay with the fact she can lie. So last session I was not in my most adult mind but only now aware of what happened. A young part lingered in her office and T said we will have to cut next week appointment short...we left right away. Yesterday had appointment with T. 15 min left she says...we will have to end early today I have an appointment I have to get to at 1230. With no thought we leave. Then today while sitting out side a thought enters my head...she lied. And I realize all of the above. So now I sent email to T asking why she lied, yet feel it will be rationalized with the fact she had a 1230 client not that she had to go.
Is this being made into a big deal for nothing? I have studied micro expressions and she had two classic expressions for lying.
I just feel uneasy now...not the most adult part here.

[kecanoe]

I am not clear about what the lie was.

[atisketatasket]

Is the lie having to end early? How do you know it was a lie? Confused.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Merecat]

I'm not clear about what she lied about either. Or what you mean when you say a younger part lingered in her office - do you mean you went over time?

I find the best way to work out whether someone has lied to me is to ask them. What we see in others and how we understand that is so influenced by how we feel that it's just not that reliable. Micro-expressions for lying could equally suggest other stuff including embarrassment or regret at the way her diary was planned.

If you know this is partly a younger part needing reassurance, the adult you can give that by saying that you're going to ask her, and she is usually trustworthy (assuming she is). There are ways to deal with this that don't mean guessing what was happening for your T or parts of you having a panic.

[dizzydoo]

I'm also unclear about what she lied about. She told you she had an appointment, and you think she was with another client?

Maybe she considers all her client sessions as appointments (my T describes our sessions as appointments), so she needed to finish to get to her next client/ appointment.

Also have you considered that maybe she was having a supervision appointment. Therapists are supposed to have supervision appointments with other Ts. Maybe she has her supervision with another T working in the same office.

[ruh roh]

Here's what I see you saying:

Last week, your therapist gave you a heads up that she would need to cut your next appointment short.

At your next appointment, she reminded you that she would need to cut your appointment short because of something she had to get to.

From here, that looks really consistent. Where is the lie?

what is the lie?

[Ellahmae]

I understand just2b. The lie was saying she had to cut it short next week because you went overtime, but yet at this recent appt she "had to" end early because she had a client to get to. So you wonder which is it? Is it because she had another client or because I went over? If the other client exists then it's okay but sometimes it feels like they don't and t just wants us to go away. I get it. I hope your T responds with the truth for you.

I don't see the lie.

[stopdog]

I just accept that they lie and don't worry about it.

[thesnowqueen]

So she took you overtime the week before and said she would shorten your next appointment to make up that time. But when she did actually shorten it, she justified doing so on the grounds of saying she had another appointment rather than admitting it was to make up the overtime from the week before.

Seems messy. I think Ts should be responsible for ending on time, and cutting your next session short seems unwarranted to me. However, I guess conventions could differ in different countries and/or cities.

I agree with stopdog - I think most therapists lie.

I truly believe in many cases they do it because the truth takes too long to explain, would unnecessarily derail the session or cause the client excessive distress.

I would take issue with certain types of lies, i.e.:

"I'm out next week and can't see you." But find out they are actually working.

or

"I really like working with you!" But find out they dread my appointments.

The little things, I would assume they just don't want to put in the effort explaining.

But that's just me.

[bounceback]

i don't see the lie either maybe you can clear it up for us.

[atisketatasket]

I've never heard of a therapist making up time for an appointment that ran over by shortening the next week's appointment. That doesn't seem right - the time is on them.

[ruh roh]

Ah okay. I did not understand that she said she would cut the next appt short because the appt ran over. I thought it was coincidence, and that she was giving the OP a heads up about the next appt that would be shortened for another reason. I am sometimes too dense about things that aren't spelled out. Sorry.

[ruh roh]

I also can't tell the difference between ellamae and @@ anymore. Are all baseball team logos the same color? Can one of you like another sport?

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

I also can't tell the difference between ellamae and @@ anymore. Are all baseball team logos the same color? Can one of you like another sport?

Gee, and here I thought my writing style was distinctive!

I'll see what I can do.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ruh roh]

Your writing and wit are distinctive. I am blaming this on corporate branding and my own stupidity (but mostly corporate branding).

[runlola72]

Perhaps she scheduled an appointment for that time on purpose after your last meeting, remembering that she would have the extra 15min. I would ask if it's bothering you.

[Rive.]

I don’t see it as definitive proof that she lied. It might have been both things i.e. she did indeed book an appointment at 12.30 seeing she had to let you go early.

If it bothered you, rather than asking (and accusing) her with a ‘why did you lie' I would give her the benefit of the doubt and ask her to clarify my doubts (‘did you let me go because of what you said last week or because you had a client’?)

Sadly, the monopoly for lying does not rest with therapists. It seems to be a ‘quality’ favoured by the human species. However, it is always better to seek clarification first rather than go all guns blazing.

That being said, shame if she *did* lie - there is no excuse for that.

You've studied lying?

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

You've studied lying?

Think the OP is talking about body language associated with lying.

Although a lot of those tells could also be displayed by a trauma client relating their experience.