[whoknew005]

I asked this question in the bipolar forum because my psychiatrist is also my therapist.

has your spouse met your therapist? why or why not? i guess I'm asking is there a reason they should meet? advantages/disadvantages etc?

or should my spouse not bother taking time out of his day?

[Victoria'smom]

My husband will meet my new T. He's able to give a more accurate picture with both sides of the story. There're times when I can't verbalize what's going on and my husband helps. He's not there all session or even most sessions but when I need extra support he goes. Or if our relationship is blowing up in our faces. He has his own T that he sees.

[Salmon77]

Whether it's worthwhile probably depends a lot on your marriage and what kind of things you're working on. For me, I don't feel like my marriage is a problem area and I see no reason why my spouse would need to meet my T.

It also probably depends on the spouse and whether they will feel insecure about you talking to a T about personal things. In that case I imagine meeting the T might help. Might also make it worse, I suppose.

[stopdog]

Do you want them to meet for some reason?

[whoknew005]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Do you want them to meet for some reason?

that is a good question. I'm having mixed feelings. my therapist suggested meeting my husband to help educate him on bipolar. it's already been 2 or so years I've been working with my therapist (psychiatrist) without involving my husband. it feels like my secret. I can't explain how I feel. I like my therapist not knowing my husband but maybe that's not the best for me.

I have bipolar disorder, and my husband sat down with my therapist and I in order to learn more about what was going on with me. It was helpful because my husband was struggling with understanding and couldn't "hear" me very clearly, but he did finally have a better understanding once that 3rd party explained.

Are you saying your husband doesn't even know you have bipolar disorder? If so, my guess is that he knows something is wrong, something is off, and perhaps finally knowing what is happening will be helpful to him and also for you.

You have to know they dynamic of your relationship in order to decide.

My therapist also had my kids come in during a time when I was really unwell and in and out of the hospital to help them have a better understanding of what was going on with me -- to help ease their minds a bit.

I would only do it if you feel it would be helpful for you.

[whoknew005]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

I have bipolar disorder, and my husband sat down with my therapist and I in order to learn more about what was going on with me. It was helpful because my husband was struggling with understanding and couldn't "hear" me very clearly, but he did finally have a better understanding once that 3rd party explained.

Are you saying your husband doesn't even know you have bipolar disorder? If so, my guess is that he knows something is wrong, something is off, and perhaps finally knowing what is happening will be helpful to him and also for you.

You have to know they dynamic of your relationship in order to decide.

My therapist also had my kids come in during a time when I was really unwell and in and out of the hospital to help them have a better understanding of what was going on with me -- to help ease their minds a bit.

yes my husband knows. my husband met my last psyc and he was jealous of him. I was really unwell then. but I've been pretty stable for 2 years on my medication and with the help of weekly therapy appointments. there are some issues I'm talking about in therapy and for this reason he suggested speaking with my husband. my therapist left it up to me. I'm not making much sense here

That was one of the reasons I had my husband meet my therapist; he was jealous. Meeting my therapist took that mystery out of it and helped that issue immediately.

I guess it comes down to those issues you are talking about. Are they issues that your husband having a better understanding of would be of benefit to you and/or to your relationship with your husband?

[21stCenturySM]

Yes. My spouse has sat in on some sessions and even told my T things I never would, but she needs to know. So it is kind of a double edged sword but it works.

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[nottrustin]

T has been to 2 sessions and spoken to T on the phone once. The first time he attended a session it was because T and I were doing trauma work. One of my issues was that my husband and I have always been very open and honest. The trauma work we were dealing with was caused by somebody hubby knows well. Initially T discouraged me from telling hubby until we dealt with the issue pretty extensively. Then she agreed for my sake it was better to tell him but in a session so that she could be there to help me as well as hubby.

The phone contact had to do with me being in crisis and afraid...I told hubby to call here. She asked my permission to speak to him and I agreed so they talked on the phone most of the day.

[ScarletPimpernel]

My fiance has been to several sessions with an ex-ex-T, one session with ex-T, one appointment with Pdoc, and 2 sessions with current T.

The sessions with ex-ex-T were mostly about his anger and about sex. Didn't help one bit. I don't remember why he came to see ex-T, but he was mostly quiet and was able to confirm that ex-T played with her words. He saw my Pdoc one time because he was against psych meds and thought they would change who I am. So my Pdoc explained to him how they work. The first time he met current T was simply a meet and greet so he would know who she was (also because he was jealous of ex-T). The second time, T wanted him to come in to discuss the boundaries of mine and T's relationship. That didn't go well at all. T wasn't listening to me the whole session and caused me to breakdown so bad that I needed an extra session right afterwards. She told me that she couldn't pay full attention to what I was saying because she was also focusing on my fiance. So we've agreed that my fiance will probably never come to another session.

I'm not a person who has a lot of regrets because I believe there's a purpose for everything. So I'm glad my fiance did get to go to those sessions/appointment. He at least got to know who these people were and was educated on what we are doing. I think it's helped him too. He supports my psych meds now and is not jealous of my T. So there are pros and cons to having a spouse come in with you.

yes, they m
have seen each other a few times when t was at my house.

[Ellahmae]

Yes. He has, and does so regularly with my permission and with me there to learn and try to understand how to help me.

[whoknew005]

thank you for all your help. I'm going to have him come with me. should I be in the room with them while they discuss my condition or let my husband meet with him alone?

[Ellahmae]

There are some things I need to be there for and other things she discusses with him that would trigger me, so I leave for those. I have tremendous trust in my T and I know that what she says will be beneficial to both of us and she wouldn't say anything that I wouldn't want her to. We also discuss what they talked about at my next session. The first time she met with him we discussed what I would and wouldn't allow to be talked about.

Originally Posted by whoknew005

thank you for all your help. I'm going to have him come with me. should I be in the room with them while they discuss my condition or let my husband meet with him alone?

[nottrustin]

I would talk to t before hand about

Whenever we planned to have hubby at an appointment we T and i always dicuss at the previous appointment what we will be discussed and what her role will be as what she will and will not say. At the appointment where i was found to reveal trauma we agreed T and i would meet briefly before to make sure I still wanted to go through it.