I'm totally freaking out

Myrto · Aug 19, 2016, 06:04 AM

So in my previous thread, I talked about the fact that my therapist had not responded to my email asking for a session this week (after a 7 week break). I was super worried. 3 days ago, she texted me that she needed to organize her schedule and that she would text me later about a session for next week. Today, after waiting for 3 days, I sent her a text asking whether she had a session for me for next week. And she texted back: "hello Myrto, I need to think about your therapy. I will contact you next week. In case of emergency you can contact my colleague Mrs X". I AM TOTALLY FREAKING OUT. This has never happened before. I tried calling her 5 times. No answer. She's not picking up on purpose. I think she's going to drop me. To terminate me. What I don't get is why? What did I do? It's completely out of the blue. No warning, no signs. Suddenly she need to THINK about my therapy. And she's refusing to pick up her phone. No she's not busy as she has answered one of my desperate texts in the last 10 minutes. She just doesn't want to talk to me. Any thoughts appreciated. Thanks in advance (sorry for rambling but I literally can't think straight right now).

awkwardlyyours · Aug 19, 2016, 08:09 AM

Isn't she the one who suddenly started taking a week off every month without much notice?

It sounds like she's been checked out for a while.

I know it's gawdawfully hard but as folks have told you before, try looking for another T (preferably not the one she put you in touch with for an emergency -- at this point, if I were you, I wouldn't trust her opinion about anything related to my mental health).

itjustis · Aug 19, 2016, 08:42 AM

I think your T is being unprofessional. To say you can go back, then ignore you, then say "I need to think about your therapy..." by text then ignore you again is shocking and I'd be freaking out too. In fact I'd be seriously p****d about it.

She should've scheduled your appointment as you expected and discussed with you in person about what she thinks of your therapy and what you can do about it.

I'm sorry you are experiencing this Myrto, I know how attached you are and how much pain it is causing you.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Waterbear · Aug 19, 2016, 08:44 AM

She has just had 7 weeks to think about your therapy and you deserve to be able to talk to her about this. Rather, I think that she is totally out of order for not arranging you a session and then discussing this with you in person. I am not surprised you are freaking out but I do second the advice to see if you can find someone to talk to right now. Put all of that nasty energy into positive action. Even if she doesn't want to terminate you, do you want to carry on with someone who could do something like that? It shows a complete lack of regard for you as a person in my opinion. Hugs to you.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 19, 2016, 09:24 AM

Ugh, that would freak me out, too! Very unprofessional of her to do that, then refuse to answer the phone. Maybe text her and ask if you can talk about it (rather than calling)? Unless you've already done that. You should definitely look for a new T.

Ellahmae · Aug 19, 2016, 09:26 AM

Not cool. At all.

Myrto · Aug 19, 2016, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

Isn't she the one who suddenly started taking a week off every month without much notice?

It sounds like she's been checked out for a while.

I know it's gawdawfully hard but as folks have told you before, try looking for another T (preferably not the one she put you in touch with for an emergency -- at this point, if I were you, I wouldn't trust her opinion about anything related to my mental health).

Yep, she's indeed now taking a week off every month. Your remember well! Oh I'm not going to contact her colleague: I saw her twice and she was completely unhelpful. I just feel so alone right now.

Myrto · Aug 19, 2016, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by itjustis

I think your T is being unprofessional. To say you can go back, then ignore you, then say "I need to think about your therapy..." by text then ignore you again is shocking and I'd be freaking out too. In fact I'd be seriously p****d about it.

She should've scheduled your appointment as you expected and discussed with you in person about what she thinks of your therapy and what you can do about it.

I'm sorry you are experiencing this Myrto, I know how attached you are and how much pain it is causing you.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks. Yeah she's being completely unprofessional. And not even picking up her phone! I can't believe this ****. I'm attached that's the problem.

Myrto · Aug 19, 2016, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Waterbear

She has just had 7 weeks to think about your therapy and you deserve to be able to talk to her about this. Rather, I think that she is totally out of order for not arranging you a session and then discussing this with you in person. I am not surprised you are freaking out but I do second the advice to see if you can find someone to talk to right now. Put all of that nasty energy into positive action. Even if she doesn't want to terminate you, do you want to carry on with someone who could do something like that? It shows a complete lack of regard for you as a person in my opinion. Hugs to you.

I know. I'm so furious right now. And you're completely right: she's just had 7 weeks to think about my therapy! It's insane. The idea of starting out with someone else is exhausting to be honest. I don't think I have the courage to do that. But it's true I will always resent her for putting me through so much crap.

Myrto · Aug 19, 2016, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Ugh, that would freak me out, too! Very unprofessional of her to do that, then refuse to answer the phone. Maybe text her and ask if you can talk about it (rather than calling)? Unless you've already done that. You should definitely look for a new T.

I called and called and texted and she's not answering anything anymore. I know: how mature. I honestly can't believe this is happening. Thanks.

Myrto · Aug 19, 2016, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellahmae

Not cool. At all.

I know. Thanks!

atisketatasket · Aug 19, 2016, 09:45 AM

This is no way to treat a client, even if you are planning a termination.

What I would do is send her an email in as calm a tone as possible, explaining the effect her words had on you and that it would be in your best interests as a client if the two of you met asap. (Can you email her?)

Myrto · Aug 19, 2016, 09:47 AM

I'm trying to stay busy right now. I'm at work so it's not too difficult. Thank god it's Friday and I'll be able to go home soon and stay home for two days. I'm trying not to cry, which is weird as I never usually cry.

Myrto · Aug 19, 2016, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

This is no way to treat a client, even if you are planning a termination.

What I would do is send her an email in as calm a tone as possible, explaining the effect her words had on you and that it would be in your best interests as a client if the two of you met asap. (Can you email her?)

I've already sent her 4 emails. I will do as you suggest and will be as calm as possible. Thanks. The thing is, she may not be reading her emails on purpose. So who knows.

Bipolar Warrior · Aug 19, 2016, 09:54 AM

I obviously don't know her, but I hate this woman. She sounds like a very unprofessional therapist, and I wish you could detach from her and find someone else. I know it's not that easy, but in the long run you would be so much better off.

I'm aware that you think it would be too much of a hassle to look for a new therapist, and you think it would be too expensive, but I'm sure you could set up phone calls, or at least exchange emails? There might also be some who offer free initial sessions, I have come across those around here (and I know my uni therapist does for her private practice). It wouldn't hurt to make some inquiries. Don't settle for a terrible therapist just because shopping around for a new one seems a bit stressful, because in the end it has the potential to be very rewarding and much more therapeutic for you. I think it could even make you feel empowered, in a way, for you to take charge of your own wellbeing and say "screw you" to the therapist who thinks she can get away with this sort of bullsh!t. You are worth more than that. You deserve better.

To me it sounds like she enjoys having her "power trips" where she leaves attached clients in a sort of limbo, making them freak out and desperately try to hold onto her. She's been doing that to you for a while now, and it's just disgusting. She could have scheduled a session for you to discuss what's going on, but no, she'd rather put you through this agonising wait while she "thinks about it".

Dump this one, she is bad news.

Bipolar Warrior · Aug 19, 2016, 10:00 AM

The worst part of it is that she is leaving you, the client, out of the process, like the only one that matters is her. It suggests that she has no respect for you whatsoever. Nauseating.

Myrto · Aug 19, 2016, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipolar Warrior

I obviously don't know her, but I hate this woman. She sounds like a very unprofessional therapist, and I wish you could detach from her and find someone else. I know it's not that easy, but in the long run you would be so much better off.

I'm aware that you think it would be too much of a hassle to look for a new therapist, and you think it would be too expensive, but I'm sure you could set up phone calls, or at least exchange emails? There might also be some who offer free initial sessions, I have come across those around here (and I know my uni therapist does for her private practice). It wouldn't hurt to make some inquiries. Don't settle for a terrible therapist just because shopping around for a new one seems a bit stressful, because in the end it has the potential to be very rewarding and much more therapeutic for you. I think it could even make you feel empowered, in a way, for you to take charge of your own wellbeing and say "screw you" to the therapist who thinks she can get away with this sort of bullsh!t. You are worth more than that. You deserve better.

To me it sounds like she enjoys having her "power trips" where she leaves attached clients in a sort of limbo, making them freak out and desperately try to hold onto her. She's been doing that to you for a while now, and it's just disgusting. She could have scheduled a session for you to discuss what's going on, but no, she'd rather put you through this agonising wait while she "thinks about it".

Dump this one, she is bad news.

Thanks. I hear what you're saying and I mostly agree, except for the "power trips" I don't think she's like that at all. But yeah she behaved and is behaving very unprofessionnally. I keep trying to find a reason as to why she's behaving this way and I'm falling short of an answer. Maybe something happened in her life and she's reconsidering having some of her clients? Nothing makes sense. I will wait until Monday and see what she says.

Aug 20, 2016, 12:16 PM

I'm sorry you have to go through this pain. I hope things go well on Monday. Keep us posted.

kecanoe · Aug 20, 2016, 02:11 PM

How horribly confusing.

Myrto · Aug 20, 2016, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kecanoe

How horribly confusing.

Yeah. Indeed.

Aug 20, 2016, 10:26 PM

I am so sorry.
my first t did that to me a lot. it hurts and is unfair.
i was super attached to her too, which is what it made it harder.
i really hope your t has a REALLY good reason for acting this way.