The transition

Even after all these years of seeing T regularly. I still hate the first few minutes in the room.
Today I verbalized it again. T said "Yes, transistions are difficult. Particularly when you move from the outer to the inner ".

Me: yeah, but. Still? After all these years?
T: yes. In here you are brought into your inner world, you are in touch with parts of yourself you don't necessarily connect with outside. Plus it's different here. It's not like you sitting alone at home in touch with these inner parts. I'm here too. I become part of it."

I realized then that she wasn't talking about being outside on the street versus in the room with her. She meant a kind of coming home on a deeper level a going inside oneself. I felt a kinda of dropping feeling happening inside as she explained what she meant.
It helps to know it's not her/the room per se that is difficult. It's the being in touch with those parts of me the world can drown out.
Therapy is like the rainy place for the pysche.