[Myrto]

It's been 3 days since my therapist texted me that she was going to "think about our work" as she put it. Consequently she so far hasn't answered any emails, phone calls or texts. I'm left waiting for her to deign explain what the heck is going on. I have no idea what she's going to say or if she is actually going to contact me. Is she going to terminate me? Is she going to decide to see me less? is she going to be angry? is this "no answer" thing on purpose? I'm just here waiting. Waiting for an explanation. How crazy is that? It's incredibly painful and incredibly infuriating. I'm trying to cope the best I can but it's very hard. Thoughts appreciated. Thanks in advance.

[Bipolar Warrior]

I am convinced the no answer thing is on purpose. I don't like the sound of it at all, it makes me mad and wish you could find another therapist.

I have made it clear to both of my therapists that they are not allowed to pull that therapist-y crap on me where they don't respond to something and then ask me some bullsh!t question like "How did it make you feel to not get a response?" I have told them that if they don't want to reply that is up to them, but that if they don't they are not allowed to bring it up in our next session. But what your therapist is doing goes way beyond that, and I guess that's why it infuriates me.

[Merecat]

I thought initially that she was just bring a bit disorganised and had mixed up her dates etc but the whole "I need to think about your therapy" - by text - feels like a nonsense. You deserved for her to have that conversation with you face to face, whatever the conversation is, and her not contacting you now is horrible. I don't know how you could feel anything other than punished and rejected. And I'm usually the one giving therapists much benefit of the doubt but her behaviour towards you here is far from ok.

[Ellahmae]

You deserve better than that.
I hope you don't let her hold so much power over you for too long.
Find a new T - and never talk to the old one again?
I feel what she is doing is abusive and wrong.

[atisketatasket]

I'd fire her, pronto. Unless she or an immediate family member is in the hospital/dead, there's no reasonable explanation for this. I understand you're attached, but think of it as dumping a romantic partner?

[Myrto]

Originally Posted by Bipolar Warrior

I am convinced the no answer thing is on purpose. I don't like the sound of it at all, it makes me mad and wish you could find another therapist.

I have made it clear to both of my therapists that they are not allowed to pull that therapist-y crap on me where they don't respond to something and then ask me some bullsh!t question like "How did it make you feel to not get a response?" I have told them that if they don't want to reply that is up to them, but that if they don't they are not allowed to bring it up in our next session. But what your therapist is doing goes way beyond that, and I guess that's why it infuriates me.

Thanks for being furious on my behalf. Maybe my therapist IS doing all this on purpose to make me suffer. I don't know anymore.

[Myrto]

Originally Posted by Merecat

I thought initially that she was just bring a bit disorganised and had mixed up her dates etc but the whole "I need to think about your therapy" - by text - feels like a nonsense. You deserved for her to have that conversation with you face to face, whatever the conversation is, and her not contacting you now is horrible. I don't know how you could feel anything other than punished and rejected. And I'm usually the one giving therapists much benefit of the doubt but her behaviour towards you here is far from ok.

I indeed feel incredibly rejected and punished. Thanks.

[Myrto]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I'd fire her, pronto. Unless she or an immediate family member is in the hospital/dead, there's no reasonable explanation for this. I understand you're attached, but think of it as dumping a romantic partner?

I can't fire her until I've had an face to face explanation. Then I'll consider my options.

Myrto,
I'm so sorry, she hasn't answered you yet? I would feel the same way you do. Your T was majorly unprofessional, and uncaring to tell you she needs to think about your therapy and then leave you hanging. She didn't even give you a time frame, I guess? Any answers I give you, like trying to do something else to get your mind off of it, well, I wouldn't be able to do. Can you call the T that she told you that you could call and tell her that you're in a lot of pain because you don't know if the therapy is over or what. This is so unfair. You deserve to know what is going on.

dump her. you deserve better.

[wheeler]

This would drive me crazy. I am so sorry she's doing this to you.

[AllHeart]

I am so sorry Myrto!! My goodness, what a nightmare!! Sure, there could be some logical explanation for all of this. However, I can't think of one thing that would justify the way she is handling the situation. Ignoring your pleas for answers is simply unacceptable. It is unprofessional in every sense of the word.

If it were me, I would send one more email or text letting her know how incredibly painful and infuriating this is for you and that if she had one iota of respect for you she would get back with you to let you know what is up straight away. If she cannot do that, she needs to be reported because this sure sounds like abandonment to me.

Thinking of you!

[BudFox]

In my experience, a therapy relationship can become essentially an abusive relationship (possibly subtly so), but it's hard to recognize it as such. I could only call it that after it was over. Others that I read about also sound subtly abusive.

[Rive.]

I find this incredibly unprofessional, especially for a T who ought to know better about the impact of such words on a client.

Unless she had an exceedingly good reason (T illness or personal/family distress), my trust for her would be gone as it shows she could dump me at will.

If she were out of depth (skillset-wise), she should have sat with you and discussed....not dropped a bomb then avoiding all contact. That's not only unprofessional but cowardly. Imo.

[Bipolar Warrior]

I really am worried that she is doing this as some sort of test, to see how you'll react to this, and taking that into account in her "evaluation" of your therapy or whatever the hell it is she claims to be doing. This woman knows you well enough by now to be aware that something like this would really upset you (understandably!), and she's doing it anyway. She's ignoring all of your efforts to get through to her. She's making you wait. Seems like a power trip to me! If it isn't, why can't she just schedule an appointment with you to discuss whatever it is in person?

I am wondering if she is having a nervous breakdown.
Her behavior does match that scenario.

Sorry you are going through this.

[Myrto]

Originally Posted by AllHeart

I am so sorry Myrto!! My goodness, what a nightmare!! Sure, there could be some logical explanation for all of this. However, I can't think of one thing that would justify the way she is handling the situation. Ignoring your pleas for answers is simply unacceptable. It is unprofessional in every sense of the word.

If it were me, I would send one more email or text letting her know how incredibly painful and infuriating this is for you and that if she had one iota of respect for you she would get back with you to let you know what is up straight away. If she cannot do that, she needs to be reported because this sure sounds like abandonment to me.

Thinking of you!

I've sent countless of emails. She's not responding. Is she even reading them? I have no idea. The whole thing is just crazy. I obviously did something to get this treatment but what? I keep thinking and I don't have an answer.

[Myrto]

Originally Posted by Bipolar Warrior

I really am worried that she is doing this as some sort of test, to see how you'll react to this, and taking that into account in her "evaluation" of your therapy or whatever the hell it is she claims to be doing. This woman knows you well enough by now to be aware that something like this would really upset you (understandably!), and she's doing it anyway. She's ignoring all of your efforts to get through to her. She's making you wait. Seems like a power trip to me! If it isn't, why can't she just schedule an appointment with you to discuss whatever it is in person?

God, I hope this is not as you say. I hope she's not testing me through this. But why would she be doing that?? This is crazy.

[itjustis]

I would be so ******* mad. In fact I am on your behalf!!!This woman sounds completely unprofessional and a real *****.
It sounds like a game to her and she's getting off on playing with your feelings.

She should at least respect you enough to schedule one last appointment to discuss what the heck has been going on.

I hope for your sake you get the appt you so desperately need and deserve and I hope you give her a piece of your mind too!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Sarmas]

That's so wrong of her. I'm not sure what she has going on in her life or what her rationale is but she's not taking into consideration the frustration and distress that she's causing. There's a purpose for you going to therapy and to have this added to the equation is horrible. I also agree with finding a new T because this one is wushu washy and just playing head games.

[rainbow8]

I'm so sorry your T is acting this way. You deserve an explanation, and I hope you get one soon!!!

I really really hope this is only because she is having some sort of personal emergency or some other REALLY DAMN GOOD excuse. so etimes my t disappears for a couple weeks or even a month, but its because of an emergency or she cant get on internet or someones in the hospital or something.

[Bipolarchic14]

Why give her the power. Go find another therapist.