[stopdog]

Has the therapist you hire put a limit or tried to so, on what you may talk about and for how long you may do so?

That is the whole poll question. It seems the word limit is less than I realized.

[junkDNA]

no and i dont think he ever would

[atisketatasket]

No, and I would ignore it if they did.

[Pennster]

I just answered no but I do remember him once suggesting that there was no point discussing something and he just shut me down (it was something that a lot of people rail against, but I had a particular reason for needing to discuss it.) I regarded that as a really, really big screwup and we wound up talking about that screwup a lot. I still think it's strange he didn't let me talk in the first place but I regard the whole thing as a crazy anomoly that I'm willing to just put aside as he did seem in the end to realise he had handled the whole thing wrongly.

[Argonautomobile]

Not explicitly, but he's not seemed particularly interested in discussing certain topics

There have been times when I was in a mixed state and very unstable when one of my most destabilizing symptoms is rumination and racing thoughts. Those thought cycles tended to send me into severe suicidality and impulsivity. He would very actively have to work with me to stop and refocus my thinking on something else entirely because what my mind wanted to focus on and talk about was sending down a very dark and self-destructive path. He would tell me that we weren't going to go there at that moment as he knew the outcome in that current condition would be even further destabilizing. It helped to at least temporarily slow down my racing thoughts, lower my anxiety, and get me to a place where I could safely drive, get home, make it through another day. Sometimes I needed help stopping my thoughts and slowing down my speaking so that I could even be coherent with him and with myself.

no, t would never do that.

No, that would be completely counterproductive. He always emphasises the importance of communicating honestly.
T1 never directly said "don't talk about it" but he was clearly uncomfortable with my feelings for him and once blurted out "I don't believe in the concept of transference" in spite of contradicting that statement on two other occasions. He made me feel like he was saying I couldn't talk about it, and my need to talk about it is what drove me to find another therapist.

[retro_chic]

No, in fact quite the opposite. My T said I can talk about what ever I want and that "anything goes" during session. Even if my T has been uncomfortable about things I have told her she certainly hasn't shown it.

No, and I wouldn't comply, but she is beginning to vacillate between opposing views on a single topic and trying to nudge me towards the one I don't prefer, so it is a risk. Not sure what to do yet.

[divine1966]

No. Dang it. I need more words lol

[Myrto]

Yes. My current therapist has said that I'm not allowed to keep talking about what happened in August because "it's not therapeutic nor healthy" (her words). She claims I have a negative transference toward her. Funny she'd say that as she had said she didn't believe in the concept of transference two years ago.

[Lauliza]

It's never happened to me but Ive never been in a situation like you were in. I see why your therapist did that and it seemed to be a good choice in that situation.

[stopdog]

There are ones out there who can handle clients who don't constantly shower them with adoration. If one is experiencing negative transference, then a therapist should be able to handle it without trying to shut it down - which I believe they do because it is not as fun as being told how wonderful they are. It is not up to those people to tell me what is or is not useful or healthy for me.

[MobiusPsyche]

No explicit limits but steering the conversation towards or away from certain topics certainly happens. Sometimes I allow the steering, sometimes I don't.

[Out There]

Not really. If I had some sort of limit like the only two sessions to talk about things we've seen on here recently I wouldn't stay with the T. And also I've found a screw-up can hit something from earlier that's painful and can be very productive in processing if the T does not get defensive. I've found him not always wanting to go where I want to on a theory sometimes but that has changed a little recently. I watched the film " The theory of everything " last night and even Stephen Hawking changed his theories - yes , let's not get stuck.

Not the therapists, this is something I do myself a lot especially with my current T as I have specific goals I want to address in depth and it's easy to ramble and drift all over the map. I often remind him and myself to keep on track and there has been a productive evolution in this since we started.

She's definitely had to "refocus" the discussion. Issues (my interpretation): repetitiveness and focusing on minutia/her/etc. in order to avoid talking about things I am uncomfortable with.

[awkwardlyyours]

Yeah, so as I've said before -- it's the whole reason I left former T.

It looks like a significant number of folks have said that that they would not comply even if the T tried to do it -- I'm super curious (seriously) as to how one would go about accomplishing that? Because, I did try talking repeatedly (even when former T clearly didn't want me to) and it didn't go anywhere.

I mean, with two people in the room, how would on keep talking if the other person doesn't want to talk about it or even respond in a halfway appropriate way?

I can understand if that means one is just straight-up venting without expecting a response (appropriate or otherwise) from the T but other than that specific scenario of a client monologue (helpful I'm sure to some), I personally found it impossible to continue when the T wasn't willing to go with it.

[stopdog]

I tell the woman not to talk - so I don't expect or need a response. The woman's responses even where she was interested were not useful by any stretch of the imagination, so not having a response is certainly no worse and often better for me.
And I have told her I did not care whether she wanted to hear about something, I wanted to talk about it. Plus I reminded her she had said one could talk about anything and that one could talk about it as long as one wanted. So she was either a liar or was changing the rules in the middle of the stream - and I was not going to have that.

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

I mean, with two people in the room, how would on keep talking if the other person doesn't want to talk about it or even respond in a halfway appropriate way?

I never had this issue because both of my Ts let me talk about whatever, but the current one is very interactive and has many thoughts and lines of investigation he likes to share. I like this highly interactive style a lot but often remind him that I want to talk about subject xyz, then he complies and has comments on that.

The way I imagine your situation, I would be upfront and ask the therapist why s/he wants to steer the topic and why not to talk about what you are interested in. Also tell them that you go to see them because of (whatever) and expect feedback on that, if it is not possible, you will look elsewhere. All very directly.

My first T let me choose and lead the topic but he kept pushing his theoretical agenda and approach on me (in the end, whatever I brought up). I left him in part because of that and looked for someone more open-minded and cooperative.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

I mean, with two people in the room, how would on keep talking if the other person doesn't want to talk about it or even respond in a halfway appropriate way?

I can understand if that means one is just straight-up venting without expecting a response (appropriate or otherwise) from the T but other than that specific scenario of a client monologue (helpful I'm sure to some), I personally found it impossible to continue when the T wasn't willing to go with it.

I think you might be expecting that if you talk about something long enough, you'll be listened to/your pov appreciated/other party will change their view. I know that won't necessarily happen, but if I feel someone's failed me, I'm willing to tell them about it just to get it out.

It is true that the therapist, if they don't want a client to go on about something, would be well-advised to actually address it - that is the only way it will be really resolved.

[ruh roh]

There have been times when my therapist has asked if something could be put on hold. After the dust settled, I could see that I had not been processing information very well or that there was a safety issue, but she was not heavy handed or laying down the law that there was a time limit on discussing a topic. Putting things on pause has been a good approach for those times. I can always go back (and do) rehash later on.

I don't think she would ever outright put a time limit on venting or say it could not be done.

[missbella]

They didn't present their quashings as rules per se. One, convinced of her own healing magic, said "I don't believe you," in response to a problem. The most horrible one screamed at me to --lighten up. Apparently hearing about problems...was a problem for them.

[Unrigged64072835]

My T hasn't done this. In fact he's usually trying to get me to open up.