[SarahSweden]

I´ve now seen my T for more than half a year and I feel the sessions are good, we talk about several issues and I feel a bit uplifted by talking to my T but in total I don´t feel better. I don´t mean I think therapy is making me feel worse but I feel there is nothing to do about how I feel. I´ve tried antidepressants but they don´t help and I also see it´s much because of my situation I feel bad. I´m unemployed, don´t have the social network I need and so on.

I don´t have the strength to do anything much about my situation more than I already do. I study at the university and try to keep up with studies but I feel it won´t lead anywhere. Even if I sometimes meet with a friend it´s not enough and I don´t have the strength to join social clubs and such and "hunt" for friends as my loneliness goes deeper than that.

I feel there isn´t anything to to. Telling T this won´t lead anywhere either.

[Bipolarchic14]

I had a similar discussion with my therapist. For me it was in a different direction. we were working on so many issues it was becoming overwhelming to me and I wasn't making any progress. So we picked out a couple of issues to start out with and she gave me baby steps. Let me give you an example. When I first started going there I did not know the names to any of my coworkers and I had been working there over two years. At lunchtime I would sit in the corner by myself and would not socialize with anyone. My therapist gave me an assignment to remember five names of people. Now I am super outgoing at work people love me and I love my coworkers. It is hard to believe how different it is from three years ago. And it all started by remembering a few peoples names. Maybe your therapist can give you small homework assignments. You can talk to her about that. You can even use me as an example.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. I already do what I can do so to speak, I manage talking to people at school, I manage taking a bus, I can cope with daily routines without problem, like going shopping for food, washing and so on.

My therapy isn´t within CBT so home assignments isn´t part of my therapy. I also don´t want an assignment based therapy. I like the therapy I´m in but on the total, that, trying antidepressants, trying to study, meeting friends sometimes, nothing makes me feel better! I just feel lonely, sometimes tired, I feel hopelessness even if I feel a bit more hope just after seeing my T. But that soon vanishes and I feel I´m stuck in a place I don´t want to be.

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

I had a similar discussion with my therapist. For me it was in a different direction. we were working on so many issues it was becoming overwhelming to me and I wasn't making any progress. So we picked out a couple of issues to start out with and she gave me baby steps. Let me give you an example. When I first started going there I did not know the names to any of my coworkers and I had been working there over two years. At lunchtime I would sit in the corner by myself and would not socialize with anyone. My therapist gave me an assignment to remember five names of people. Now I am super outgoing at work people love me and I love my coworkers. It is hard to believe how different it is from three years ago. And it all started by remembering a few peoples names. Maybe your therapist can give you small homework assignments. You can talk to her about that. You can even use me as an example.

[phaset]

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

I´ve now seen my T for more than half a year and I feel the sessions are good, we talk about several issues and I feel a bit uplifted by talking to my T but in total I don´t feel better. I don´t mean I think therapy is making me feel worse but I feel there is nothing to do about how I feel. I´ve tried antidepressants but they don´t help and I also see it´s much because of my situation I feel bad. I´m unemployed, don´t have the social network I need and so on.

I don´t have the strength to do anything much about my situation more than I already do. I study at the university and try to keep up with studies but I feel it won´t lead anywhere. Even if I sometimes meet with a friend it´s not enough and I don´t have the strength to join social clubs and such and "hunt" for friends as my loneliness goes deeper than that.

I feel there isn´t anything to to. Telling T this won´t lead anywhere either.

I don't think six months is much time to change a lifetime of thinking but I'm sure if you think about it you can find some small things. Have you talked about your goals in therapy? Maybe you should bring up the idea? What is stopping you from joining a social club?

[kecanoe]

I was also uninterested in life and depressed for a long time. For me, it took years of therapy before I started feeling a difference. I hope this is not the case for you. Pdoc said I have treatment resistant depression. Meaning we tried lots of different antidepressants and none worked.

For me, the change started about 6 months after starting brain spotting, which is an unusual treatment but it sure worked for me. My t describes it as EMDR and SE combined.

I hope you feel relief soon.

[mostlylurking]

Maybe you could ask your T to help you revitalize your therapy: take it in a slightly new direction, try a different approach, discuss some new topics, delve into older stuff you haven't fully explored yet, etc. You could try bringing in old photos or diary entries or letters to show her, reading a self-help book to discuss its ideas, asking her any questions you might have been hesitant to ask before... just think about what might "jump start" a new discussion. I think therapy can sometimes get a little slow, through no one's fault at all, just through familiarity and routine. But I also don't think 6 months is very long.

[Myrto]

Are you sure you've tried every combination of antidepressants? I'm asking this because my psychiatrist had to try different medicines until it finally worked. Antidepressants have really helped me, maybe they could help you too have more energy and not feel so depressed. And then you could have more strength to make changes. You've mentioned a few times that you're unemployed, can't you do something about it? Even if it's not your dream job? I know that when I was unemployed I was even more depressed. Having a job gives you some purpose.

[coolibrarian]

I used to think this way, that no amount of therapy was going to work, that my medications just kept me on a plateau, but not happy. My T reminds me that the problems didn't happen overnight, so the healing won't happen that fast, either. I have been in therapy with her for over 25 years.

How about a martial arts or yoga class? You'll be coerced into a productive social environment and the breathing and exercise and endorphins might help you more than you would expect.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. Yes, all goals are specified and they are also followed up by my T. But here mental health care isn´t blended with like employment agencies so a T doesn´t guide or coach directly so the client gets a job and such things. What´s stopping me from joining social clubs is that I find it tiring to search and search for friends and still feeling lonely. My problems run deeper and by that practical changes is just part of the problem.

I have done and do practical changes like beginning to study, I became friends with one in my class and I still see her from time to time but the "bigger picture" is still missing and by that I also still feel bad.

Originally Posted by phaset

I don't think six months is much time to change a lifetime of thinking but I'm sure if you think about it you can find some small things. Have you talked about your goals in therapy? Maybe you should bring up the idea? What is stopping you from joining a social club?

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. Yes, I agree that can be productive, once or twice I brought written material and I know my T read it and she went back to what I wrote several times. Sometimes I though feel like I really try and I know I´m active in therapy and I know my T thinks so to but I just end up in my old problems, much about feeling too lonely or too tired or too sad to proceed in life and making changes.

Originally Posted by mostlylurking

Maybe you could ask your T to help you revitalize your therapy: take it in a slightly new direction, try a different approach, discuss some new topics, delve into older stuff you haven't fully explored yet, etc. You could try bringing in old photos or diary entries or letters to show her, reading a self-help book to discuss its ideas, asking her any questions you might have been hesitant to ask before... just think about what might "jump start" a new discussion. I think therapy can sometimes get a little slow, through no one's fault at all, just through familiarity and routine. But I also don't think 6 months is very long.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. No, I haven´t but the thing with me has been that I experienced too severe side effects from several antidepressants I´ve tried and as I try to stick to my studies and not end them I can´t endure weeks or even months with side effects that stop me from studying. Like more severe anxiety than before or tiredness that never stops.

I don´t have the faith in myself or the strength to look for a job and I´m not that well yet that I could start working. I want to finish my studies, they are full time studies even if I can study a lot from home.

Originally Posted by Myrto

Are you sure you've tried every combination of antidepressants? I'm asking this because my psychiatrist had to try different medicines until it finally worked. Antidepressants have really helped me, maybe they could help you too have more energy and not feel so depressed. And then you could have more strength to make changes. You've mentioned a few times that you're unemployed, can't you do something about it? Even if it's not your dream job? I know that when I was unemployed I was even more depressed. Having a job gives you some purpose.

[phaset]

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

Thanks. Yes, all goals are specified and they are also followed up by my T. But here mental health care isn´t blended with like employment agencies so a T doesn´t guide or coach directly so the client gets a job and such things. What´s stopping me from joining social clubs is that I find it tiring to search and search for friends and still feeling lonely. My problems run deeper and by that practical changes is just part of the problem.

I have done and do practical changes like beginning to study, I became friends with one in my class and I still see her from time to time but the "bigger picture" is still missing and by that I also still feel bad.

You listed some of your accomplishments, but there are others. You seem more accepting of your diagnosis and are starting to learn how it affects you. I'm sure you know this, but change is hard and takes time. She isn't going to "fix" you (my inner therapist is screaming that you are not even broken), but she will be there to help and support you.

Last year I joined a depression and anxiety support group. I don't think they understand ASD at all, but I feel most people there accept and care about me, and I am starting to make friends. Do you think this is something that would work for you? This would have been unthinkable to me a few years ago, I was desperate when I started.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. In a way I feel there is a need for some "fixing" because part of how I live and act is creating anxiety and making me feel bad. I could perhaps join such a support group, I think they can be helpful in many ways but I also have to have the mental strength for it. Being in therapy alone takes a lot of energy.

Sometimes I feel there isn´t as much insight as I would like it to be, that it´s more talk than therapy but I can´t really tell where the boundary is between just small talk and therapy. As my T is quite open about herself and tries to make me feel less embarrassed about talking about stuff I sometimes feel the therapeutic techniques are lost.

Originally Posted by phaset

You listed some of your accomplishments, but there are others. You seem more accepting of your diagnosis and are starting to learn how it affects you. I'm sure you know this, but change is hard and takes time. She isn't going to "fix" you (my inner therapist is screaming that you are not even broken), but she will be there to help and support you.

Last year I joined a depression and anxiety support group. I don't think they understand ASD at all, but I feel most people there accept and care about me, and I am starting to make friends. Do you think this is something that would work for you? This would have been unthinkable to me a few years ago, I was desperate when I started.

[BudFox]

On the medical side of things I would investigate Functional Medicine, which typically looks at root causes. Simple and safe interventions can have huge impact on mood, cognition, motivation. Could be expensive though.

Are you getting any exercise or direct sunlight or time in nature?

As for therapy, sounds like you get a palliative sort of hit from it, which quickly wears off. I did also.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. I´m not sure I know what Functional medicine is, it´s nothing I´ve heard of or been offered. I don´t think it´s offered here in Sweden but I´m not sure.

Yes, I get exercise and time in nature almost every day and I sit on my balcony often during spring and summer.

I think it´s very hard to know if it´s some kind of palliative therapy as you say or if it´s a way my T uses to de-dramatize the process and help me speak more freely about stuff. She is very open about herself but she lets me take the lead and she sometimes fills in with examples from her life, more in general, or from friends with similar problems or experiences.

As I´m in therapy within a psychiatric clinic (no inpatients though) she says they don´t work as hard on patients defenses as they would do if you for example did psychoanalysis. But it´s very hard to tell, perhaps she can´t go deeper or she doesn´t want to to protect me from feeling hurt, challenged or something like that.

Originally Posted by BudFox

On the medical side of things I would investigate Functional Medicine, which typically looks at root causes. Simple and safe interventions can have huge impact on mood, cognition, motivation. Could be expensive though.

Are you getting any exercise or direct sunlight or time in nature?

As for therapy, sounds like you get a palliative sort of hit from it, which quickly wears off. I did also.

[BudFox]

Functional medicine focuses on imbalances and deficiencies and how they affect you systematically including . It also looks at environmental factors, diet, gut health, and more. It generally eschews drugs and disease-care in favor of building real health.

By palliative I meant that therapy makes you feel better while under its direct influence, but the feelings don't last. Not sure if that fits for you.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. Part of such medicine I already do on my own, I try to eat healthy, I´m not overweight, I don´t eat any medicine as antidepressants haven´t worked. I take walks almost every day and so on.

My T herself said that it took her about 10 years before she had processed everything she went through in her own therapy and I think some things fall into place a long time after you finished therapy. I´m not sure how to feel to be sure therapy is really changing in a longer perspective, I just know that beliefs I had before therapy, they are now quite the same.

Originally Posted by BudFox

Functional medicine focuses on imbalances and deficiencies and how they affect you systematically including . It also looks at environmental factors, diet, gut health, and more. It generally eschews drugs and disease-care in favor of building real health.

By palliative I meant that therapy makes you feel better while under its direct influence, but the feelings don't last. Not sure if that fits for you.

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

Thanks. Part of such medicine I already do on my own, I try to eat healthy, I´m not overweight, I don´t eat any medicine as antidepressants haven´t worked. I take walks almost every day and so on.

My T herself said that it took her about 10 years before she had processed everything she went through in her own therapy and I think some things fall into place a long time after you finished therapy. I´m not sure how to feel to be sure therapy is really changing in a longer perspective, I just know that beliefs I had before therapy, they are now quite the same.

Sometimes lab testing is helpful to find deficiencies, thyroid or adrenal problems, food allergies, gut problems, etc all which can affect brain function.

10 years... that is a crazy and manipulative thing to say. In my opinion either it's providing some tangible benefit in real time or it's not.