[itjustis]

Ok, so, since the summer I've had this overwhelming fear that my T will die and have no idea what I'll do without her.
I talked about it briefly last week but I'm so confused as to where these feelings/fear is coming from?
My T means the world to me and she's great with me, we work well together.
I have other people in my life that mean the world to me and I don't have this fear of them dying. This is why I'm confused I think?
I know my anxiety probably plays a part but ugh, I feel like I'm going crazy with this.

Has anybody else been through this? What did you do to overcome it? My T was great with me when I mentioned I was terrified of her dying, I just wonder how other T's handled it?
I'd love to hear your responses

[AllHeart]

I went through this phase, too. It was another form of fear of rejection for me. I thought if she wasn't going to up and leave me one way, it was bound to be another.

What helped me get over it was t's constant and realistic reassurance that she wasn't planning on going anywhere. She wasn't planning to retire, move, cut me out of her life, take away out of session contact, get sick, or die. She was not planning to reject me. She also told me that if she did die unexpectedly she would come back and visit me in ghost form. I still love that!

As I witnessed and learned that my t was there for me when I needed her, and never rejected me, the trust greatly increased and the terrifying fears of her dying greatly decreased. The only time I have them now is when she travels. Even then, the fears aren't nearly as bad as they used to be. So it was all about reassurance and building trust over time for me.

It's great your t is handling it all so well with you. I hope you can get to the root cause of why you have these fears so she can continue to help you move past them.

[rainbow8]

I can identify with your fear. I have always been afraid of people I love dying when they go away, usually in car or plane crashes. I am especially afraid of my T dying. Whenever I tell her about my fears, she says "I'll be back."Then I tell she can't be sure, and she agrees, but says most likely she'll be back.

What helps is when she told me that if she dies, she knows i will be sad, but then I will go on. It also helps to know there are other people in my life besides my T. Also religious beliefs help. T traveled out of the country today and I am not so scared. She probably won't die but if she does I'll grieve and be sad but my life will go on. It doesn't help to dwell on the bad things that can happen though I tend to do it.

It's a fesr of separation. If we became aware of our seperateness to young. Comes from very early feelings. We've just put it in the box with everything else that needed work on. T said she can't promise that wouldn't happen, her dying. But it's about my learning it is survivable for me if she did.

[runlola72]

I'm sorry...I have never had this overwhelming fear but my daughter definitely had a fear of me dying when she was in preschool. She was beside herself for a time. I soon realized it was shortly after she began attending preschool, and she felt abandoned. The death fear was an echo of the feeling of being left at school. She has always been a sensitive soul, and so I got a job at the preschool in the next room over, to be closer to her till she felt more confident. Her fear of my death subsided shortly. I absolutely think the fear of abandonment correlates with fear of death. Good therapy material.

[itjustis]

Thank you for your responses.
The separation between appts is pretty bad, although not as bad as it used to be. We're looking to reduce sessions to every two weeks soon and I'm dreading it, maybe this is why my separation anxiety has come up?
This fear is definitely something to be looked at more closely and then hopefully I can get past this fear of her dying.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I have this fear as well. My T was in the hospital a few weeks ago and I didn't hear from her when I should have and I totally panicked and thought she died in the hospital. I think its normal to worry about someone you care about.

I am glad you have talked about this with your T. I did the same and it made me feel better.

[junkDNA]

i have had INTENSE fears of my T dying. especially when he goes on his backpacking trip or goes out of town. bears, car crashes, etc. it drives me nuts. sometimes i just have to text him to ask if hes alive. he lets me know that he is. im trying to deal with it on my own though recently. last time he went backpacking he told me all the things he does to keep himself safe (like use an emergency beacon, store his food at the campsite,etc) and it helped reassure me. there is still the whole WHAT IF thing tho...