T's Phone Number

dolphingirl · Sep 26, 2016 at 11:21 AM

My T called today to cancel/reschedule. When T needs to reschedule she usually calls and uses the option to keep her phone number private, or email me, or have her receptionist call. This time when T called to reschedule she forgot to use the option to make her phone number private and she left a voicemail telling me to email with the time I wanted to reschedule for. Now I have T's cell phone number in my call history. I kind of glad I finally have her phone number, not just the main office number, but it also feels so wrong. T doesn't realize she made this mistake. My initial reaction was either to save as a contact in my phone with T's name or just delete the number from my call history like it never happened.

mostlylurking · Sep 26, 2016 at 11:27 AM

I wouldn't use the number but to be honest I would have a hard time deleting it. I suppose it would make me feel safer to have it in case of emergency. If you do keep the number don't be too hard on yourself about it. Kind of nice to have it as a talisman even if you never use it.

Sep 26, 2016 at 11:31 AM

I wouldn't use the number unless I asked ahead of time. It was probably an oversight and she didn't mean to give you that number; on the other hand, perhaps her policy about it has changed. Let your therapist know you have it now in order to find out if you are allowed to contact your therapist this way.

LonesomeTonight · Sep 26, 2016 at 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lolagrace

I wouldn't use the number unless I asked ahead of time. It was probably an oversight and she didn't mean to give you that number; on the other hand, perhaps her policy about it has changed. Let your therapist know you have it now in order to find out if you are allowed to contact your therapist this way.

I agree--I got my T and marriage counselor's cell numbers the same way, though they never blocked it/listed it as private when they called. Eventually I mentioned to my T that I had her cell number but didn't know if it was OK to call her there. She was like, "Don't call just to chat, but it's fine to use it." Hm, I guess I didn't officially ask MC, but just texted him at one point. He wrote back, so I assumed it was OK. We did talk about it at some point, and he said calling/texting his cell was fine, too.

And I'd save the number somewhere--if you feel weird keeping it in your phone, write it down and stash it somewhere. Just in case.

dolphingirl · Sep 26, 2016 at 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mostlylurking

I wouldn't use the number but to be honest I would have a hard time deleting it. I suppose it would make me feel safer to have it in case of emergency. If you do keep the number don't be too hard on yourself about it. Kind of nice to have it as a talisman even if you never use it.

This is pretty much how I feel about it. I'd feel better keeping it in case of an emergency, but I don't really have emergencies anymore. There are usually 3-4 times a year when in times of need I'll email T to help get my thought out or "connect" to someone, so I know I won't misuse it, but I feel guilty having it, sine it was probably an oversight.

stopdog · Sep 26, 2016 at 02:47 PM

Both of the ones i hire use cell phones as their number. I would not feel guilty - the client did nothing wrong.

Sep 26, 2016 at 05:05 PM

DELETE the number

Argonautomobile · Sep 26, 2016 at 05:11 PM

This has happened to me. I just deleted my call history. I never had the temptation to use it. I don't really call my T for anything, and, anyway, I doubt he'd appreciate my using it.

Sorry this is causing a conflict for you. I don't know if you're looking for advice, but if it were me I'd just delete it. Seems like it might just snowball and start to burn a hole in your pocket if you leave it.

Pennster · Sep 26, 2016 at 05:46 PM

I don't answer calls from unknown numbers, so I prefer to save numbers from incoming calls in case they ring again from that number.

Why you would feel guilty about having it? Has your therapist been explicit about the idea that no one must know it?

Sep 26, 2016 at 05:49 PM

I would not use a number that wasn't either given to me for that purpose or publicly available on the T's website etc, except to return a missed call immediately. Or maybe bring up that you have the number and ask if she meant it to be available for you and if this is a number you can use in case of an emergency.

Lauliza · Sep 26, 2016 at 07:08 PM

You did nothing wrong so I don't see the need to delete the number or feel guilty for having it. People get numbers this way all the time. If there was a true privacy concern, your T would have a separate phone for clients so she didn't have to remember to use the private option.

Sep 26, 2016 at 09:52 PM

I don't see anything wrong with keeping it if it helps.

I wouldn't use it if you are worried she didn't intend to share it.

Gettingitsoon · Sep 27, 2016 at 04:44 AM

I would ask T if she meant for you to have it.
I think each situation is different.

My T volunteered her cell phone number a few months in.
I thought I would NEVER use it. I see her weekly, I'm relatively stable.

Yet in the last year or so, I have begun to text her between sessions. Usually once, at times twice. Many times not at all. I hope for and get quick responses back. Just reassurances to my vents about life stresses usually
I've never wanted to call the cell.

She's told me she's glad I send her texts. Something about me feeling I can ask for help, a problem for me at times!

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mostlylurking Veteran Member Member Since Jul 2016 Location: US Posts: 658 8 2,329 hugs given	Sep 26, 2016 at 11:27 AM #2 I wouldn't use the number but to be honest I would have a hard time deleting it. I suppose it would make me feel safer to have it in case of emergency. If you do keep the number don't be too hard on yourself about it. Kind of nice to have it as a talisman even if you never use it.
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Anonymous50005 Guest Posts: n/a	Sep 26, 2016 at 11:31 AM #3 I wouldn't use the number unless I asked ahead of time. It was probably an oversight and she didn't mean to give you that number; on the other hand, perhaps her policy about it has changed. Let your therapist know you have it now in order to find out if you are allowed to contact your therapist this way.
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stopdog underdog is here Member Since Sep 2011 Location: blank Posts: 35,049 (SuperPoster!) 13 1 hugs given	Sep 26, 2016 at 02:47 PM #6 Both of the ones i hire use cell phones as their number. I would not feel guilty - the client did nothing wrong. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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justafriend306 Guest Posts: n/a	Sep 26, 2016 at 05:05 PM #7 DELETE the number
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Pennster Poohbah Member Since Aug 2013 Location: US Posts: 1,030 11 442 hugs given	Sep 26, 2016 at 05:46 PM #9 I don't answer calls from unknown numbers, so I prefer to save numbers from incoming calls in case they ring again from that number. Why you would feel guilty about having it? Has your therapist been explicit about the idea that no one must know it?
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Anonymous55498 Guest Posts: n/a	Sep 26, 2016 at 05:49 PM #10 I would not use a number that wasn't either given to me for that purpose or publicly available on the T's website etc, except to return a missed call immediately. Or maybe bring up that you have the number and ask if she meant it to be available for you and if this is a number you can use in case of an emergency.
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Lauliza Grand Magnate Member Since Nov 2009 Location: United States Posts: 3,231 14 260 hugs given	Sep 26, 2016 at 07:08 PM #11 You did nothing wrong so I don't see the need to delete the number or feel guilty for having it. People get numbers this way all the time. If there was a true privacy concern, your T would have a separate phone for clients so she didn't have to remember to use the private option.
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Anonymous59898 Guest Posts: n/a	Sep 26, 2016 at 09:52 PM #12 I don't see anything wrong with keeping it if it helps. I wouldn't use it if you are worried she didn't intend to share it.
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