[kkrrhh]

Hi! I'm sorry if this question has been asked before (probably), I've just been thinking about this.

I've dealt with basically lifelong depression and anxiety issues, and for the most part I've felt like I need deeper therapy, and CBT and such seem rarely helpful for me. People always talk about therapists who work through their issues with them and get really deep, and I've always felt like this was some mythical therapist I could never find.

It seems whenever I'm feeling really bad I want to find a good therapist and work on things, then during the spells I'm feeling better I end up kind of just letting therapy go, then regret it and feel guilty later. I think, and hope, that I really can find a therapist to go deeper and truly work on some deeper issues, and have basically looked for this for years. I'm just wondering, though, whether I'm just imagining some ideal therapist that doesn't really exist and chasing the idea for nothing.

I also wonder whether maybe I should stop searching and accept that more "superficial" therapy, for lack of better word, is the best I can hope for. Maybe trying to go deeper into things would only me focus on my depression and actually makes things worse, and wouldn't ever actually accomplish anything? I worry that maybe somehow I'm holding myself back by eternally searching for this, and almost like maybe if I 100% accepted that I just had to move on it'd help me release the past in some way. At the same time, I don't want to deny myself treatment that could actually help (in fact I feel the need for a good therapist like this more than ever right now if it does exist and could help like I hope), and just keep repressing things if there is another option.

I've heard people say that that type of therapy is pointless and even harmful, then I've heard people swear by it helping and changing them.

I know of course it depends on the person, too, but does anyone have any input?

[Schizoid_1]

Have you tried any psychoanalytic therapist? I was seeing eclectic therapist earlier who was much more action oriented than the analytically trained therapist I am seeing now. Current T is fine with talking about death, suicide as means to an end rather than the end itself.

Do you discuss dreams with your therapist? It can be a very illuminating journey interpreting the subconscious content.

[retro_chic]

I guess it is one of those things where you won't know for certain until you try. For me personally, I felt the same way you do about CBT and other behavioural therapies. They help to an extent but to me it felt like it was just treating the symptoms but not addressing the cause. After a couple of years of CBT/ACT and after experiencing a relapse in depression/anxiety I looked for a psychodynamic T. I found a great one and I love working with her. I will say though at first I felt worse because the therapy was so challenging but I actually feel like I'm getting somewhere now. Basically, I think this type of therapy can be really good for certain people

[woods girl]

My opinion is that it just takes time. In depth therapy gets at the root causes of problems, so it just takes longer than most people are willing to give. In my experience, I still have issues, but overall I'm in a much better space to tackle them, and I know I have someone on my team long term, no matter what.

[LonesomeTonight]

I think you should look for a psychodynamic or psychoanalytic T, rather than a CBT one. I believe CBT is meant to be a short-term therapy and focus on finding ways to deal with thoughts/behaviors you have without delving into the past and finding the "roots." But as others have said, it can take time--maybe a year or more--to really delve into the past with a T, understand it, and process it. So you have to be willing to devote an extended stretch of time to therapy. I think much of it also depends on how comfortable you feel with the T--if you don't feel comfortable/connected, then you might not feel as safe bringing up stuff from the past.

All that being said, I also found that CBT was not very helpful for me, but luckily, my T, who I initially saw for that (for panic/anxiety), is also trained in psychoanalysis. So she's been able to help me get to the root a bit. My marriage counselor has also helped me immensely with figuring out the roots, pointing out, say, when ways I react to my husband are likely due to something I experienced in childhood or a message I got from my parents. (MC is especially good at reading/understanding me, even though he's not my individual T.) Understanding the roots is very helpful, but then you also need to figure out how to apply that knowledge to your present life. Like "Oh, this is why I do/think this" is great. But then there's the "So what now? How do I stop doing/thinking this?" So that's why it can be a long process.

Hope that helps! Note that I wrote this before really having my coffee, so not sure how much sense it made. But I definitely think it's worth giving a shot to digging into the deeper issues. If you're looking for a T, I'd suggest letting them know you want to do that, not just CBT, and see what they say. Good luck!

[Onward2wards]

Personally, I'm finding that a mix of insight oriented psychodynamic and action oriented cognitive behavioral therapy is where "the rubber meets the road".

[Out There]

I also feel it's important to get at the roots of it all. It's a bit like clearing an overgrown garden. I was talking to my T about it. You clear what's on the surface but the weeds are deeply rooted , so you have to get them up before you sow a new lawn , they'll just pop up again if you don't.

Originally Posted by Onward2wards

Personally, I'm finding that a mix of insight oriented psychodynamic and action oriented cognitive behavioral therapy is where "the rubber meets the road".

That's been my experience also. The strategic combination was ultimately most healing for me.

[Waterbear]

How do I know? Because it feels right. I just know deep inside that this is right for me.

[BudFox]

Most theorists and researchers these days seemingly acknowledge that the various techniques and schools of thought are a wash. They are equally effective or ineffective. I think this is why many therapists say they are "eclectic".

Instead it's about the nature of the relationship, many of them seem to conclude. And as something I just read suggested, a lot comes down to placebo effect. It's a sort of smoke and mirrors thing, wherein the client believes some structured process is playing out, and this belief can drive inner change.

Problem for me is that this suggests they don't know when therapy will help, or not help, or cause harm. If the key variable is some ineffable thing that can't be measured or predicted, then it's like black magic or rolling the dice. I've never heard therapists speak about this stuff, which I find dishonest.

[ECHOES]

I chose depth therapy because I wanted to learn about me, and because I thought it would be meaningful and life changing. I love it.