[rainbow8]

Today T let me start out by saying I was triggered by her saying a statement of love for her partner last week. Then she said she doesn't want the session to be about her, so she asked me questions about how I felt when my Mom died and my father started dating, and when he remarried. We also touched on my not saying "I love you" first except to my kids and grandkids. T said "you did good work" when I left.

I realize it's been much easier to say it's about T's life and not my family. This way is much more painful.

[coolibrarian]

The only way out, is through. Gentle hugs.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by coolibrarian

The only way out, is through. Gentle hugs.

My T has that quote on her website. Thank you. Yes, I feel like this topic is unfinished for me. I have many feelings about missing my mother and also about my inability to verbalize and accept love. It seems so real to lash out at T and her partner, though. To want T for myself. My Dad and a lady friend left my house early in the morning once. He wrote a note that we were sleeping so they didn't want to wait or wake us up. I cried and cried over that note! I showed it my T a few years ago. Today I said, if it had been my Mom, never in a million years would she leave without saying goodbye to me, my husband and our children! T says 33 was young to lose my Mom. I never thought so but maybe she's right. Idk.

I emailed T and thanked her for her patience with me. She said we'll keep working on these family issues. I'm not done.

[ruh roh]

Great session, rainbow.

[Hawkru]

Why would your T brag about loving her partner when the hour is about YOU?

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by Hawkru

Why would your T brag about loving her partner when the hour is about YOU?

She wasn't bragging! Out of context I see why you might think that. We were talking about the kind of love she has for me. She said " I love my kids. I love my partner." It's not the same kind of love. We've talked about that before. I've been seeing her about 7 years. I now believe her when she says she loves me. So, no bragging. My T is not like that!

[WrkNPrgress]

Originally Posted by Hawkru

Why would your T brag about loving her partner when the hour is about YOU?

You misread Rainbow's post. It was quite the opposite.

[kecanoe]

Sounds like a major breakthrough-good for you for staying with it until you figured it out. I know this has been painful.

Really good work, rainbow! Hugs.

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

My T has that quote on her website. Thank you. Yes, I feel like this topic is unfinished for me. I have many feelings about missing my mother and also about my inability to verbalize and accept love. It seems so real to lash out at T and her partner, though. To want T for myself. My Dad and a lady friend left my house early in the morning once. He wrote a note that we were sleeping so they didn't want to wait or wake us up. I cried and cried over that note! I showed it my T a few years ago. Today I said, if it had been my Mom, never in a million years would she leave without saying goodbye to me, my husband and our children! T says 33 was young to lose my Mom. I never thought so but maybe she's right. Idk.

I emailed T and thanked her for her patience with me. She said we'll keep working on these family issues. I'm not done.

I think that, no matter what our relationship is like with our parents, we are never ready for them to die. I was 37 when my father died, and 44 when my mother died. I am now 57.

[Luce]

Rainbow, you have grown so much over the years. You are changing. It is an honor to watch you evolve and grow.
You will get to where you want to be.