[Elkino]

Last week I had a therapy session. It didn't go very well. I felt stuck and T has tried to help me for a while now and I'm stubborn I guess.
At the end of the session my T asked 'Did you feel like this session has been helpful to you?'. That, to me, felt soooooooo bad. It was as if she was trying to say 'I feel like you didn't learn a single thing'. As if she wanted me to point out that it's useless. As if she's just incredibly bored and doesn't think I benefit from the sessions. Then I started thinking that maybe she wants me to figure out that it would be better for me to quit and give up.
Probably it was never meant like that though. (I hope)

Would this be a trigger for anyone else? Or am I just exaggerating?
How do you deal with this?

[itjustis]

I analyse and overthink everything too so I know exactly where you're coming from!

Maybe she was just checking in to see what she was doing was working for you? That's how I see it at least
Maybe you could ask her at your next session to ease your mind?

[Elkino]

Originally Posted by itjustis

I analyse and overthink everything too so I know exactly where you're coming from!

Maybe she was just checking in to see what she was doing was working for you? That's how I see it at least
Maybe you could ask her at your next session to ease your mind?

Thanks!
I will try to bring it up. But you probably know how long the waiting until the next session can feel...

Originally Posted by Elkino

Last week I had a therapy session. It didn't go very well. I felt stuck and T has tried to help me for a while now and I'm stubborn I guess.
At the end of the session my T asked 'Did you feel like this session has been helpful to you?'. That, to me, felt soooooooo bad. It was as if she was trying to say 'I feel like you didn't learn a single thing'. As if she wanted me to point out that it's useless. As if she's just incredibly bored and doesn't think I benefit from the sessions. Then I started thinking that maybe she wants me to figure out that it would be better for me to quit and give up.
Probably it was never meant like that though. (I hope)

Would this be a trigger for anyone else? Or am I just exaggerating?
How do you deal with this?

No, I'd see it as T checking in work you. You could give feedback and then you both work together work what didn't feel helpful, and why.

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by Elkino

Thanks!

I will try to bring it up. But you probably know how long the waiting until the next session can feel...

I sure do. It's an awful feeling! Are you allowed out of session contact? Maybe you could send an email.

Sounds like she was just checking in with you on how you were doing in relation to that session. Rather usual question from my perspective.

[Elkino]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

Sounds like she was just checking in with you on how you were doing in relation to that session. Rather usual question from my perspective.

Proably, yes. It's not a question my T has asked a lot in our work together. so probably that's why it felt very weird all of a sudden.

[stopdog]

I would take it as an invitation to tell her what she could do better.

[Elkino]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I would take it as an invitation to tell her what she could do better.

Probably should try to see it like that.
It just felt so weird because if she would ask me after every session, it would have become normal. This time it was as if it was meant to 'try to say something'. But it's probably my imagination, because the session didn't go too well.

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by Elkino

Probably should try to see it like that.

It just felt so weird because if she would ask me after every session, it would have become normal. This time it was as if it was meant to 'try to say something'. But it's probably my imagination, because the session didn't go too well.

Maybe your T picked up on that the session didn't go well and is most likely why she asked?
If this is the case then maybe you could see a positive in this - meaning that she is well attuned to you?

[bounceback]

I would ask her. It does no good to try and mindread. I used to do this all the time when it would have been easier to ask what she meant.

[speckofdust]

I felt the same way when my former T asked that question. It made me feel like she was trying to point out that things weren't going well with the whole therapy deal. But, we talked about it, and she explained that she was really looking for feedback from me to help her determine if she was on the right track, or if she needed to try a different approach. I told her that I would let her know if I felt like things weren't working, otherwise she could assume they were. I don't like being asked for feedback about T's or their approach.

[88Butterfly88]

I have had ts say that and honestly I think they say it just so they can be a better therapist for you. If what they did didn't help, they need to know so they can do better next time.

[Lauliza]

In my experience, Ts ask this to check in and make sure they are on the right track. I understand how it's easy to use over think something like this but I'm confident your T meant nothing more.

[Sarmas]

I've had a similar question from my T. It was cnfusing for me and I wasn't sure why she was asking either. I'm not sure if she actually thought that she wasn't helping or if she wanted to make sure that I was getting the most out of it. I still don't know but she did it happened more than once. I told her a few of the changes I've made since starting therapy and she was nodding her head in agreement as I spoke. Maybe that's what she was looking for. I'm not sure if it was because she needed to hear it. I was afraid that she was going to end sessions and refer me out at the time. So many thoughts went through my head. I think it would be beneficial to ask your at why she asked that question.

[Elkino]

Yeah, me too. I thought that she was going to say 'I see that this going nowhere, maybe we better end this'. I am too afraid of that.
I also felt as if my reply to that question would, to her, seem like I was only making sure that she wouldn't drop me. As if I was only saying what she wanted to hear. But I was honest, I hope she knows that.
It just doesn't help to get that question after a difficult session. It has made me go crazy. I sent an email but I didn't get any reply. I know that T doesn't always answer my emails, but this time it makes things more painful.