[retro_chic]

My last session went really well. I went in with no solid plan on what I was going to talk about but the conversation between T and I ended up flowing really well. Usually I have to write things down and read them to T but I haven't done that for the past three weeks. Before I would often get "blocked" (as T calls it) and would shut down and not say much when I felt things were getting too "intense". I didn't do that at all last session. T noticed the "shift" and commented on it at the end of the session and asked me what I think caused the change. I said I wasn't sure and would to reflect on it some more but I still don't really know! I have noticed that even though I still feel very attached to T, it no longer feels scary and uncomfortable. I just feel a lot "safer" in sessions for some reason. Maybe it just the natural progression of things, I have been seeing this T for 10 months now so maybe it is just that I am finally starting to trust her? I can't think of a specific event or anything that would have caused this shift so that's the only thing I can think of...

[Out There]

That sounds very positive and its something I've noticed in my own therapy

I went through a very similar thing in my therapy, moving from insecure to secure attachment.
Sounds like you're making good progress

[retro_chic]

Thank you both for the reply! I'm glad to finally be making some progress and for T to notice it. I still obsess over T way too much so I know I still have some work to do in terms of forming a secure attachment but at least I'm moving in the right direction.

[ECHOES]

It sounds like you have been figuring out if your therapist is trustworthy, and you have decided that she is. That is a wonderful shift. It feels good.

Happy for you!

[therapyishelping777]

That is so awesome retro chic.. to feel that shift!! It seems like more 'work" can be done when you reach that point... deeper work.. you don't even think existed.. It took me 6-7 months of every week to get to the point Im just starting to be able to let things flow better.. like i'll want to hold stuff in , in my head, but then it just comes gushing out.. so to say,, because I feel safer with him... It may not have a few months ago.. as much... So happy for you!! Sounds like you have a good T.

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by therapyishelping777

That is so awesome retro chic.. to feel that shift!! It seems like more 'work" can be done when you reach that point... deeper work.. you don't even think existed.. It took me 6-7 months of every week to get to the point Im just starting to be able to let things flow better.. like i'll want to hold stuff in , in my head, but then it just comes gushing out.. so to say,, because I feel safer with him... It may not have a few months ago.. as much... So happy for you!! Sounds like you have a good T.

It has taken me 10 months of weekly therapy to reach this point so I know what you mean! I can't believe how amazing and patient my T is

[Waterbear]

That really is great Retro and I hope it continues. I reached that point very recently too, after the equivalent of about a year of sessions, and it it such a relief. I equate it to realising that T is safe too, that I can actually trust her on the whole. I still find opening up hard but it is certainly much easier than it was.

There will still be events and such like that upset this, but these can be worked through and we can get back to where we are now, I believe anyway.

So very pleased for you.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I used to always come prepared with a list of things to talk about. Sometimes I still do if it's really important things. But in general, I find that just going with the flow leads to more productive sessions than planning thing out. It's more natural, more real. Both of you can just be present and be yourselves. That probably isn't the catalyst for the change, but I bet it is helping the relationship feel more safe.

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by Waterbear

That really is great Retro and I hope it continues. I reached that point very recently too, after the equivalent of about a year of sessions, and it it such a relief. I equate it to realising that T is safe too, that I can actually trust her on the whole. I still find opening up hard but it is certainly much easier than it was.

There will still be events and such like that upset this, but these can be worked through and we can get back to where we are now, I believe anyway.

So very pleased for you.

Yeah, I still find it difficult to open up but now I'm usually able to take a deep breath and blurt out whatever it is instead of shutting down like I used to. I agree with you in saying that this new found trust will help to work through any future problems and we'll be much more resilient.

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I used to always come prepared with a list of things to talk about. Sometimes I still do if it's really important things. But in general, I find that just going with the flow leads to more productive sessions than planning thing out. It's more natural, more real. Both of you can just be present and be yourselves. That probably isn't the catalyst for the change, but I bet it is helping the relationship feel more safe.

Yes, I have found that going with the flow leads to uncovering things I didn't realise I felt/thought. I guess that's kind of the point of free association. I think the turning point was a few weeks ago when I told T about the really messed up / weird dream I had about her and instead of writing it out I just kind of blurted it out and she didn't react as though I was some sort of freak. I won't repeat the whole dream story but T said that the ending of it reminded her of when Glinda from The Wizard of Oz said "You've always had the power, you just had to learn it for yourself". That was a nice moment and since then I've kind of thought of T as "the good witch" haha.