[Onward2wards]

I had a burst of insight today that I feel has helped me, and might also help other people. Why is it that some methods of reframing one's perspective or approaching a problem differently seem to help in some ways, and mysteriously cause more problems in others? I came up with an allegorical story to help myself figure this out. I put a trigger warning on this because the (completely fictitious) story involves some unpleasant tribal practices (no graphic details though).

Imagine a long-lost tribe that is visited by an anthropologist. On their island, the tribespeople have long believed that tossing human sacrifices down a volcano appeases the volcano god, who in turn bestows luck and skill in battle to the warriors (among other supernatural goodies such as not blowing up and destroying the island). Across a nearby mountain range there is an extremely aggressive tribe who keeps attacking the volcano village, and only the bravery of the tribal warriors has prevented a massacre for years.

The volcano tribe's bravest warrior confides that he's never been comfortable with the human sacrifice thing and honestly wants to put an end to it. The anthropologist explains how volcanoes actually work, and (let's assume) in a burst of insight the warrior understands his skewed beliefs are no longer needed, thus starting a new era of leadership with no more sacrificial business.

However a few weeks later the village is attacked, and a massacre ensues. The tribal warrior limps back to the anthropologist and explains that "for some reason" courage left him in battle, and now his confidence and self-worth is shattered.

Do you notice what happened here? The warrior's belief system was changed for the better, BUT a core belief based on earlier events and social pressures led to BOTH an unhealthy belief (we must fear and appease the volcano, sorry helpless sacrificial victims!) and a USEFUL belief (I am magically lucky in battle and can therefore protect my tribe well). Having undermined the underlying system of belief/expectations, BOTH positive and negative patterns of thinking and behavior were inadvertently altered because they actually share the same root cause. Oops, didn't see that one coming!

Let's put our thinking caps on and improve the situation.

The anthropologist had two choices:
1. Explain that the volcano god in fact exists, but there's evidence that it doesn't actually like sacrifices at all, but has bestowed luck in battle upon the warriors as an "A+ for effort". Therefore the warriors can keep on having confidence in battle, and retain their basic ways of looking at their world, but knock off the whole sacrifice thing specifically.
2. Explain how volcanoes really work , and thus put an end to the negative beliefs and behaviors, AND ALSO replace the belief that the volcano god bestows this luck and skill in combat with ANOTHER perspective that fills the same need. Our anthropologist could convince the warriors that they have honed their skills so well that they are just plain outrageously good at fighting regardless of the superstition, thus retaining their confidence and combat effectiveness.

If you replace the tribal warrior with YOU the individual going through therapy, and the anthropologist with a THERAPIST, you might begin to understand the intricacies of therapy better, as I just have.

Things I realized today (and yes I have noticed this in my own experiences too):
* Deconstructing some past event(s) can sometimes undermine BOTH unhelpful AND useful expectations and behaviors. What doesn't kill you can make you stronger in some areas, but weaker in others. There are logical reasons for this when you more fully understand the whole situation. It is important to fully grasp the actual problem. Unfortunately, this is sometimes easier said than done.
* You can "edit out" the unhelpful stuff and retain the useful stuff, but it requires being really specific about the results you want, and being flexible and creative in how you do so. In the above example, the desired outcome is to get rid of the belief that the sacrifices are needed, while retaining the belief that the village's top warrior is adept enough in combat to effectively defend the people. HOW this is done is very important - each approach will have consequences. The things we learn to think and do can have some complex interactions that are not always so obvious, and become habitual. That's just part of being human, and one reason for therapy existing in the first place.

[Argonautomobile]

Neat. That's 10X better than most of my T's analogies. Thanks for sharing!

[Yours_Truly]

Very interesting. Thank you. Oh, and creative!

[Onward2wards]

Thanks. I was hoping it might help others too. I'm on the last day of a three day weekend, apparently my stress levels have lowered and I'm thinking more clearly today.

[atisketatasket]

So my first reaction was, "hey, my college anthropology professor was right - as soon as an anthropologist shows up in a tribe's village, that tribe starts the process of losing the culture the anthropologist came to study." Western non-primitivist values rule!

I like the analogy and it's one of the most interesting thread starters I've read on here. If I have a problem with it, it is the presumption both on the client/warrior's part and the therapist/anthropologist's part that the latter possesses godlike wisdom that should be followed by the former. (An actual anthropologist who behaved this way would be considered unethical, since s/he had interfered, quite dramatically, in the tribe's cultural practices.) Not really your point, of course, but it does raise the question of how much a therapist should tamper with a client's individual customs and belief-system?

[AllHeart]

Yes, great analogy. Thank you for sharing!

[Onward2wards]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

If I have a problem with it, it is the presumption both on the client/warrior's part and the therapist/anthropologist's part that the latter possesses godlike wisdom that should be followed by the former. (An actual anthropologist who behaved this way would be considered unethical, since s/he had interfered, quite dramatically, in the tribe's cultural practices.) Not really your point, of course, but it does raise the question of how much a therapist should tamper with a client's individual customs and belief-system?

You're right. That's why I imagined one approach that doesn't attempt to radically challenge a basic system of belief, but seeks to "edit out" a part that is causing the client functional issues and distress without disturbing what's already working (regardless of how technically "wrong" the therapist's own framework/bias may believe a system to be). How "deep" does one need to dig to solve an issue effectively without causing unintended problems?

[unaluna]

I had my own magical thinking - that every time something good happened, something bad would happen next. To the extent i was going one step forward, two steps backwards in my life. Took my ts quite some doing to convince me otherwise. Plus im just plain running out of stuff to throw into the freakin volcano.

[ruh roh]

I guess I don't follow the thinking here. I think what would happen is that the anthropologist/therapist would likely say that the human sacrifice and belief in a volcano god has no bearing on another tribe's actions--that other people are still going to come at us with their assaults, and the real strength isn't in appeasing a fictional god, but claiming innate power. So, what I see is that the original belief that the person was conflicted about, is still questionable and, more so, evidence that what we believe and do is not going to stop other people from attacking us.

A decent anthropologist would stay out of this, but a decent therapist might want to support further inquiry that's coming up naturally from the conflicted tribal member (that is, questioning and testing the validity of a belief that's causing distress).

Just don't get me started on anthropologists who tell tribal members to hug themselves and have spa days....

[atisketatasket]

I read it as just about internal attitudes (the ones that we can theoretically control).

Originally Posted by unaluna

I had my own magical thinking - that every time something good happened, something bad would happen next. To the extent i was going one step forward, two steps backwards in my life. Took my ts quite some doing to convince me otherwise. Plus im just plain running out of stuff to throw into the freakin volcano.

yeah... i feel you there, that last part, and i had already started throwing parts of myself into the volcano....

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by artemis-within

yeah... i feel you there, that last part, and i had already started throwing parts of myself into the volcano....

Good point. Recovering them now is a heck of a trick!!!! No wonder my t seems confused. Omg. Hes like, where were you? Im like, idk, i was just hiding, mentally and physically. The false self took over, who knows where the true self goes?

Originally Posted by unaluna

Good point. Recovering them now is a heck of a trick!!!! No wonder my t seems confused. Omg. Hes like, where were you? Im like, idk, i was just hiding, mentally and physically. The false self took over, who knows where the true self goes?

Exactly. t has asked me that before too the "where were you?" I never know what to say either - I'm like, nowhere.