[rainbow8]

I don't know if this will be of interest to anyone but I am proud of myself and my T said this is huge! A few days after the email exchange I suddenly became triggered by something about T's trip. It was insignificant but the kind of thing that always bothers me when others do it to me too. In other words, it's a pattern. So, I noticed myself becoming angry and upset, and almost "ruined" my good feelings about the email exchange.

Then I realized this was a pattern, related to people hiding information from me, or ignoring me. It wasn't about my T. I tried to again think of what happened in my childhood, but all I can come up with is kids passing notes "around me" in school, and excluding me. T said we can do EMDR about that, and see if it helps.

She also reminded me that when something good happens, in therapy or elsewhere, I do something to try to sabotage it. She is aware of that pattern more than I am. In any case, I told T how I felt better after realizing my pattern about her triggering me, instead of remaining hurt and wanting to lash out at her. I did ask her why she didn't tell me that piece of information about her trip, and her answer was reasonable. I said I was still triggered, even though I understand, and she said the feelings are something we can work on.

[bounceback]

That is awesome that you are recognizing your patterns. That way you can work on changing them. You have changed so much in just the last few months you have posted. You have become so much stronger. It is amazing.;

That's great rainbow. You are doing some really amazing work with your t.
I make lots of assumptions when information is not shared sir missing from what I know. 99% of the time I come to the wrong conclusions and end up really hurting myself by assuming the worst. A really valuable lesson I learned was when possible to check if my assumption was correct, usually it wasn't and my mind concluded the worst.
My t will always ask if I would like to check out my thoughts with her which is very helpful for me. Usually there is a really good explanation that someone didn't tell you and it wasn't because they lied or just didn't want to tell you so it's always worth asking and checking. I had heard something about my t once and of course I got really triggered and thought, she doesn't really care about my I mean nothing to her etc, etc...but when I checked it was very different what I had heard was completely different to what actually happened.
Now I really want to know if she actually did give my book I gave her for Christmas away to her friend that I know who happened to get this book off t for Christmas.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by bounceback

That is awesome that you are recognizing your patterns. That way you can work on changing them. You have changed so much in just the last few months you have posted. You have become so much stronger. It is amazing.;

Thank you, bounceback. I was glad that I could finally realize my reaction was a pattern and not get angry with my T! It was such a relief. I think the change has been very gradual though it seems like all at once.

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

That's great rainbow. You are doing some really amazing work with your t.
I make lots of assumptions when information is not shared sir missing from what I know. 99% of the time I come to the wrong conclusions and end up really hurting myself by assuming the worst. A really valuable lesson I learned was when possible to check if my assumption was correct, usually it wasn't and my mind concluded the worst.
My t will always ask if I would like to check out my thoughts with her which is very helpful for me. Usually there is a really good explanation that someone didn't tell you and it wasn't because they lied or just didn't want to tell you so it's always worth asking and checking. I had heard something about my t once and of course I got really triggered and thought, she doesn't really care about my I mean nothing to her etc, etc...but when I checked it was very different what I had heard was completely different to what actually happened.
Now I really want to know if she actually did give my book I gave her for Christmas away to her friend that I know who happened to get this book off t for Christmas.

Thanks, mona. I hope your T didn't really give the book to her friend but there could be a logical explanation. Maybe she already had the book. But that would hurt me too.

I hope the EMDR will help me. My T says I don't have to know exactly where my hurt feelings come from, that it can help anyway.