[hopealwayz]

I miss my former psychiatrist. It's been about a month since I last contacted him or begged him to take me back as a patient. I don't know the exact date but I realized that I have not communicated with him for the month of October so I'm proud of myself.

However I think about him every day and I'm full of regret when I think about the fact that he could've still been my psychiatrist if I hadn't messed things up.

I figure I must be really bad if I couldn't even make things work out with a psychiatrist.

I'm so jealous of my former psychiatrist's patients. I used to be one of them and I'm sorry that I took it for granted.

Now that I realized the wisdom of my Ex-psychiatrist, I recognize all I'm missing out on.
:*(

I hope you find peace instead of beating yourself up.

Maybe he played a role-perhaps he didnt have the ability to meet you where you were at?

[hopealwayz]

I was too needy.

[MobiusPsyche]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

I was too needy.

He wasn't willing to meet your needs.

[hopealwayz]

I had too many needs. I emailed/texted WAY too much, I disrespected his time and texted incessantly during his 'off time' and even his work time, I was selfish.

He still should not have handled matters in a punitive and shaming way to you. Some of the things he said to you were really messed up.

[hopealwayz]

Originally Posted by MobiusPsyche

He wasn't willing to meet your needs.

I made him hate me. He actually told me that he hated me.

A few years ago, he sent me kind messages, and promised me that he would never abandon or punish me.

I'm sorry. That is so hurtful.

[hopealwayz]

I just can't believe the complete disaster of the way things went from good to bad with him.

[hopealwayz]

Thanks for the supportive words.

[Submax]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

I made him hate me. He actually told me that he hated me.

A few years ago, he sent me kind messages, and promised me that he would never abandon or punish me.

Hope- That doesn't sound like a very good doctor,regardless of what you did. Maybe you did push the boundaries,but he is supposed to be the professional correct ?

i went throughh the same thing. its so hard. i am really sorry.

[hopealwayz]

I felt that he was wrong in many ways also.

[hopealwayz]

and apparently I said some mean things which I didn't mean and I reread what I said and it didn't sound unforgivable. I did once tell him that he only cared about money, not people. And I said don't criticize me about my car because he had a new car too. And in the blink of an eye, he canceled my appointment and said he was terminating me. I asked him for another chance because I have learned my lessons from this. I told him if he gave me another chance, I wouldn't do the same behavior. I then asked him if he would at least do my med management and he'd only have to see me every 3 months. I have learned my lessons from this but he won't give me another chance. It just happened so fast. Like on May 25, he cared and on May 26, he turned against me. One time he told me he would never abandon me and I trusted in that. I wish he'd forgive me instead of feeling fear about it. He seemed like he was angry at other things and taking it out on me.

[hopealwayz]

I'm Having a rough time! :*(

[Longingforhome]

Hope, it's so sad that we continue to look to people who have let us down, to care for us. I think it says a lot about what we have been through.

Whatever you did, it was his job to handle it/you respectfully and professionally, regardless of his personal feelings.

If the texts etc were outside of what he was willing to deal with, he should have helped you work out a way to get the needs behind them met in a way that worked for
you both. Not shamed you.

We're in T because we're struggling with our thoughts or behaviours. It's our job as a patient to need, to bump up against boundaries, to turn to the T for help and guidance. It's the job of the T (one of the jobs of the T) to help us find a healthy way to deal with this. NOT tell us they hate us.

I am not suggesting Ts should put up with any and everything - if their safety and wellbeing are at stake, things have to be different. But telling a patient they hate them
doesn't even have a place. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Have you thought about working it through with another T?

[hopealwayz]

I'm still looking for another T. I'm waiting for someone that I want to have a session with to come back from paternity leave.

Thanks for your support. Hugs!