[Raindropvampire]

My T and my Pdoc both have tried several times to get me to take their email address and their cell numbers. Both said they don't really answer the phone but they check their voice mail hourly and always check their texts. If they feel a call is needed then they will call back. If I email I should expect an answer within 24 hours.

I don't believe in contact between sessions. I wouldn't call my GP and discuss an illness with her and not pay her. I would make an appointment and pay her for her time. So why would I treat my mental docs different? Why would I expect them to give me extra time outside my session? They are paid for the session that's it.

I work in customer service. If I run into one of my customers outside work I will be cordial but I am not being paid to take care of their needs or be nice so cordial is a good as it gets until I can escape.

So how many people here have contact between sessions and do you pay your docs/Ts extra if you do?

[ChavInAHat]

I have often felt like I should pay my T for the emails I send her- but she is happy to receive them- she doesn't respond unless I ask her to (and even then she gives crappy 'therapisty' answers which she would never give face to face.)

So I just email her things I can't verbalise or big things that are going on and then we take it from there.

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[Myrto]

I have contact between sessions if you can call it that: I can email as much as I want but she won't respond. She'll only respond in session.

I don't really understand that idea of paying them for outside contact. It's part of the job imo. I mean, unless you're expecting a very long and detailed email everytime you send an email (in which case I suppose I could see paying a small fee for that), receiving emails or texts and answering them quickly is part of the job of a therapist.
But of course I don't mean a long and detailed response, just a few lines.

The comparison with a GP is not relevant imo: I don't discuss my most intimate feelings and emotions with my GP, I don't have any attachment to him and consequently I don't suffer from attachment wounds between sessions.
Some people need outside contact with their therapist in order to maintain the connection.

I can email T. I think the relationship between myself and T is different to a relationship I'd have with a customer service employee.

Emotions are involved. Relationship is involved. I belief T allows me contact because it is theraputic for me considering the reasons I came into therapy.

Just because someone 'believes it to be wrong' says more about the person and their thinking, then it does about anyone's contact entitlement.
.that B/w way of looking at the world,. Where decisions are taken because the world seems easier that way, rather then allowing there to be a grey area, where outside contact can be good.

[Ellahmae]

I have unlimited phone/text access to my T.

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I'm encouraged to email, text and call. My T is part of a team within a big T organisation whose job is to keep teens/children who should be inpatient or in a residential center, at home. This means that her task is to provide help, assistance and support whenever it's needed, = 24/7.

I email - sometimes a lot, sometimes rarely. I text occasionally, usually if I want to share something but I don't have internet access so I can't email. But also when I want her to call me. I've had 'emergency phone contact' 3 times in the 15 months I've been seeing her. (usually I text her asking her to call me if she has time) T wants me to call/text more often, but I don't want to.

[Chummy]

I'm allowed to send my T emails. She only answers emails during her worktime. It's part of her work, it's not a free extra for me. She does respond to my emails. Sometimes long, sometimes short. It depends what it's about. We'll also talk in session about it.
I don't email her often.

[SeekerOfLife]

I can only call the office number, ask for her line, and leave a voice mail. She will only call back if she thinks its urgent.

[SoupDragon]

I am used to contact between sessions, but don't anymore. I don't feel as connected as I used to.

[Pennster]

My therapist is big into between-sessions coaching. I can ring or text and he usually gets back the same day. It's super-helpful and usually helps me get my head back on straight. I also use email but I don't expect any reply for that- I just write when I want to work something through.

I don't pay extra- my therapist sets his own fees and policies, and they include outside contact. It's an integral part of the way he works.

I have contact between sessions, but I am very respectful of my therapist's time. I don't consider it unlimited (although he's never put a limit on it but he's never needed to). Contact is only via phone through his office (not email or text which seems to cause so many issues for people). I try to call during office hours when at all possible. I only call outside of office hours if it is an emergency, so that doesn't happen all that very often. Contact after hours is made via his answering service and he gets back to me within minutes usually. My pdoc works exactly the same way. It is contact that makes them very available, but it is very professional and boundaried which I think is very important.

[retro_chic]

I just emailed my T asking her if it is okay to email her haha. We shall see how that goes

[Out There]

I don't contact my T outside of sessions other than for rescheduling and he is the same. I would not want to. I have noticed cultural differences ( hugging and contact ) to be more reserved here in the UK sometimes.

[ruh roh]

Oh yes, and it's very helpful. I do pay quite a lot out of pocket, though. And it's rare when our exchanges are lengthy. If someone does not want between session contact and feels it's asking too much, then it's probably a good idea not to have it. I don't see why they need to get judgy about what other people do, though. It's up to the individual and therapist, the way I see it.

[healed84]

I think the relationship between t and client is a bit different than a gp. Maybe, though it depends on the type of therapy you are getting as well.

I do have contact with my t in between sessions. However, I try to be responsible about it and not to do it too much. I have been with t for 4 years, so between my copy and what the insurance pays t makes quiet a bit of money on my once weekly appointments.. So, I don't feel the need to compensate him for an occasional text, short email, and very rarely a phone call.

[MobiusPsyche]

I have limited contact with T outside session. I do email but it's usually some article of mutual interest and I want to share the link with her. She also sends me links, and yes I think she saves some up for when she knows I'm having a difficult week. It's a way to stay connected without it being too personal, which is my issue.

I could email her if I were having a crisis and I'm confident she would respond, or call me if I asked. I've only called her once outside of session in the year we've been seeing each other and she called back as soon as she was able.

It is up to the T and pdoc to set the boundaries. They're professionals. If they think it's appropriate, then it's okay. Not every practitioner allows or encourages between-session contact.

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[velcro003]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

So how many people here have contact between sessions and do you pay your docs/Ts extra if you do?

My T told me early on that she is a T who is ok with outside contact. As she put it, "people call and email me all the time!" IN my head, I was like "that suucckkksss." I have called and e-mailed, it just depends on how I am doing. I can go weeks and weeks without any contact, and some weeks I just email one email processing the session. She thinks I write to help process my feelings, so she's always glad to read them. Some weeks I email 2 or 3 times, and may call once as well if I am feeling particularly bad.

I don't pay her extra, so I really try hard not to abuse it.

Whenever I feel guilty about the extra contact, she reiterates that the only concern she has is that I will need a response sooner than she can give it, due to her life outside the job. She said she feels confident that I know what to do if I really am in trouble (call a crisis line/go to ER--which i never would need), but that she never sees a email or phone call from me and rolls her eyes. She knows it means I am struggling.

She really has taken most of the guilt away, but I feel better when I don't have to contact her in betewen sessions, because I will always feel a little guilty for taking away time from her family.

[stopdog]

I could call both and write the first one by email or text. I rarely text anyone but my closest friends because I find it sort of annoying so I don't use it with the therapist even though I think she uses it with clients fairly regularly. I rarely call because I usually don't want to converse. I do write from time to time to get things away from me but I don't, unless it is scheduling, want the therapist to respond. I do not feel guilty for contacting either of them. They have both made it readily available and could charge for their time in 10ths of an hour like I do. The second charges for time on the phone over 15 minutes or so. I can't imagine spending that much time on the phone with her so it has not been an issue for me. Unless it is for scheduling, I don't care if the first reads or does not read what I send and I don't consider email to be cause for immediate response. I sometimes send actual letters by regular post.

[junkDNA]

i text with my T. i also email him but we usually go over those in sessions. my T says i can text him for reassurance, etc. i dont pay him for it and he's never brought up paying for it. i text him to feel connected to him, to tell him things about my day like funny weird things that happen, to reality check with him if i am paranoid or having trouble with my thoughts, and for reassurance.. also for scheduling. i rarely call my T. he's called me a couple times in response to my text which was kinda random because one of them was about going to wal mart and one was about eating bbq. guess he felt the need to call me ??? lol

I can call, text or email between sessions. I only call or text if it's about scheduling, or a very rare situation. Mostly I email, but I try not to do that too much because I don't want to be a pest. She tells me that she has never experienced me that way, thankfully. Recently she told me that from a clinical standpoint, she enjoys my emails because they are showing her my process. She doesn't always respond, and when she does they are short two or three words. Usually when I email it is because it's something I don't want to forget to talk about in the next session anyway. I don't pay extra.

[nottrustin]

I can call or email whenever I need to. She responds when she is able to. Sometimes it is right off and we exchange multiple emails other times it can be a day or two and it is a short one line response. We have had a couple of lengthy phone conversations when things are really bad. I have mentioned multiple times I feel I should pay her when we have lengthy exchanges. She always refuses. I often feel guilty for being so needy but she tries to reassure me that it is not the case.

I put other, because I can email him if I like, and he will respond usually with "message received" or "thanks for sharing that". It says in his contract that he doesn't 'do therapy by email' and if something needs addressing, an extra session can be arranged. I don't use it often, but I occasionally just send thoughts his way without any anticipation of a dialogue.

[AllHeart]

I do have unlimited access to my t but I certainly do not take advantage of the situation. I'm exceptionally fortunate to have the t I have.

[feralkittymom]

My situation was much like lola's: call to answering service and a prompt call back. I also had his home phone during crisis times, or when I was travelling and couldn't recieve a call back. I rarely called except for scheduling matters. But my feeling is that such arrangements are fundamentally business concerns, and it's up to the T to determine whatever practices they want. But I've always had medical practitioners who functioned the same way: if I was ill, I could come in for an appointment, or call the office and sometimes a visit seemed prudent, but other times a simple Rx over the phone was all that was necessary. I don't know for sure, but I think those physicians didn't file any claim for payment for such calls.

[Sarah1985]

I'm encouraged to call, text, email whenever I need too and she'll respond when she has time. It's been a huge benefit to my therapy and I am so thankful for her as my therapist.

I think it's important to remember that everyone has a different points of view and experiences. What works for some clients won't for others and same with therapists.