[benzenering]

Can this work?

[QueenCopper]

For some it does but I am to afraid of a male so it would not work for me.

[growlycat]

For me it works wonderfully. I prefer it.

[therapyishelping777]

It works for me way better.. I had a number of female T's in my life, they were mostly friend types.. empathetic ears, they didn't really teach me anything, or help me cope, or learn about my anxiety or issues.. with a male T, he is more a dr/professional figure in my life who is helping me understand and get healtier and has truly exceeded my expectations as far as being able to relate with him and share my innermost stuff and feeling safe and heard by a male which in itself has been incredibly healing!!

[magicalprince]

I usually only see female T's and it was only an issue once. Though another one made it an issue that I was male. Not sure about that case.

Wanted to try a male T possibly just never had any around me that didn't give off uber creepy vibes.

I do think it can be an issue. Though also can bring out a lot of important issues that could be productive if handled right.

I always have much prefered it. It worked very well for me.

[Argonautomobile]

Sure--why not? Why do you ask?

My T's male (I'm female). It was a little weird to discover I was actually a bit freaked out to be alone in a room with him, but I got over it. It's been helpful.

[therapyishelping777]

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

Sure--why not? Why do you ask?

My T's male (I'm female). It was a little weird to discover I was actually a bit freaked out to be alone in a room with him, but I got over it. It's been helpful.

So well said about being a bit freaked out to be in a room alone with him.. as a former victim of domestic abuse having an ex that was extremely controlling and taught not to look, touch, or be anywhere near or talk to any other males.. and having that ingrained... for years.. it can be a bit freaky at first.... but has been SO FREEING!!!

It depends entirely on the individuals involved.

A T of the same biological sex as myself could not work for me, and I have been getting very good therapy for several years from my current T, who is of the "opposite" sex - but that is just my own truth. Everybody is different.

[benzenering]

My pdoc referred me to 3 T's, 2 male and 1 female. The female doesn't take my insurance, so I'm stuck with one of the males (I am female). It just seems that this would be weird. I am going to have issues opening up anyway, and this just seems like another barrier.

[MBM17]

Yes, it can definitely work for some people.

Have you read this thread?
Do you have a preference for your T's gender?

I described there why it works better for me (female) to have a male therapist.

[therapyishelping777]

Have you talked to either on the phone yet? I would call them both and personally talk with them and see which one you feel comfortable with on the phone

[jeremiahgirl]

Actually, I generally prefer female T's, the Male's frightened me, with that being said my last T was a male and it took sometime to really trust him. I do trust him now. if I was told I needed to go to another male T I don't think I would.

When I first met my T (male), I sat the furthest away from him...() we still laugh about that today.

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by benzenering

My pdoc referred me to 3 T's, 2 male and 1 female. The female doesn't take my insurance, so I'm stuck with one of the males (I am female). It just seems that this would be weird. I am going to have issues opening up anyway, and this just seems like another barrier.

I'm sorry--I can see this being very disheartening.

Can you ask your P-doc for more recommendations? Or just find one on your own?

You could always have a trial session with one of the male T's. Maybe you'll find it goes better than you think. I didn't have a choice of my T's gender, either--they just stuck me with him. I thought it would be weird, but it wasn't that weird. He's been helpful.

[Unrigged64072835]

I've had both male and female T's. They both work fine with me.

[Out There]

Male , but my two male T's weren't initially my choice and just happened to be male. The female T I tried retraumatised me , but I have done other healing work with women that was fine. I think it's put me off female T's though , which is probably a shame.

[BrazenApogee]

Formerly, all the T's I've had from childhood have been female. I am afraid of males in general. As a female, I have found it easier in the past to work with my gender. I do have trauma history from a male, so it's understandable my reaction has always been that way.

Things have been different this time around; however, I rejected all female T's and only went with males. Unfortunately my first choice was bad T. Current better, but frustratingly ridged, T is Male and I kinda like it that way.

I rejected all female T's in my search. I do not know why. I just wanted a male T. I was very choosy with what they looked like though. They Had to be a male who did not look anything like my abuser. Body structure and facial hair Had to be completely different. I think if my current T changed how he looked I would run away screaming. I should probably tell him that.

[benzenering]

My pdoc is female and we butt heads alot (one of the reasons she's sending me to therapy). I really prefer a mother figure, but maybe having the opposite of my pdoc would really be ideal. I can see where it may have advantages if I can find the right guy. I think I'll give him a chance...thanks everyone for your input!

[Yzen]

I only go to female T's (I am male). For me, I feel more judgement when talking with a male which is probably due to my childhood experiences. It is good to consider which sex you feel more trust with and have more comfort talking to about issues.

[Salmon77]

I have an opposite-sex T and it's fine, but I think this depends very much on the person and the issues being dealt with.

[mindwrench]

My childhood T's were female. When I reentered therapy as an adult I requested a male. My pdoc is female which I have been way more open with so maybe I don't know what gender I need for a T.

I usually feel more motivated and can collaborate better with males (I am female) in pretty much every kind of relationship. So, my therapist choices have also been males so far. I would try a female specifically with the intention to dig into my gender bias, but I thought that it would be more effective to follow my natural preference when working on other issues.

[UglyDucky]

I know it works best for me. I've never felt female Ts challenge me enough...they always seem to want to be friends. As for a male seeing a female T, I don't know; there might be different dynamics working there.

[kecanoe]

I am seeing both. My first round of therapy was with a woman. I knew I wouldn't get attached and I thought that was a good thing. Second round started with a man who I quickly got very attached to. Still working on this.

It takes me a long time to trust women, but a couple of weeks ago I had a breakthrough with a female t that I don't think would have ever come with my male t. It was a part of me being able to want my mom. Doesn't sound like a big deal, but for me it was.

[awkwardlyyours]

I'm female. I found the couple of male Ts I interviewed / contacted to be alternately condescending / patronizing and insecure (wanting me to stroke their egos). Not to mention having really poor boundaries in terms of talking a whole lot about themselves (and their seemingly awesome experiences, history etc), making inappropriate remarks about my sexuality, country of origin and so on. They were also on average, better educated than the female Ts I came across.

The female Ts on the other hand -- even the ones that I just saw for a single session -- had far better boundaries and were pretty solidly respectful of mine. None of them were gushing or oozing warm fuzziness (thankfully).

In my professional life, I mostly work with men and I get along nicely with most of them. And, many of my good friends are also male. So, I would have been perfectly fine with a male T if I'd found one that I thought was halfway competent (needless to say, I am sure that the sample of unfortunate male Ts I saw isn't representative of all male Ts).