[runlola72]

I'm inclined to not mention this behavior to T because it's embarrassing. I don't harm myself with substance abuse or cutting, but I overeat, stay in bed a lot, self-soothe with sex more than I should. You wouldn't know any of this to look at me, except I think I do come across as depressed and anxious. The thought of bringing this up to T makes me feel really worried. For the sake of openness it would be good for him to know, but I'm worried it will be construed as manipulative or something. I'm not really totally sure what the point of telling him is. Plus it's just so, so embarrassing.

[Argonautomobile]

I sometimes find it easier to talk about my anxieties surrounding disclosure than actually disclosing. So I'll say something like, "Sometimes I have a hard time telling you things because I'm afraid it'll be seen as manipulative or malingering or something. Can we talk about that?" And we do, and 8 times out of 10 I feel better about the thing even if I don't actually disclose it.

Would something like that work for you?

[runlola72]

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

I sometimes find it easier to talk about my anxieties surrounding disclosure than actually disclosing. So I'll say something like, "Sometimes I have a hard time telling you things because I'm afraid it'll be seen as manipulative or malingering or something. Can we talk about that?" And we do, and 8 times out of 10 I feel better about the thing even if I don't actually disclose it.

Would something like that work for you?

Thanks... I could try that. Appointment is tomorrow. I doubt I'd be disclosing anytime soon but I'll try what you suggested and see what happens

[Argonautomobile]

I hope it works out, Runlola. Good luck.

[growlycat]

Disclosing almost always feels better. Easier said than done !

[stopdog]

I don't know that anything is a need to tell those people.
Do you want to stop doing it? Do you want to tell the therapist? If so, then I would think telling them could be useful

[SvanThor]

Let me give you a healthy tip.

If you do anything that makes you wonder whether you are mistreating yourself, you probably are, and you should definitely bring this to your therapist's attention.

[Demunie]

Originally Posted by SvanThor

Let me give you a healthy tip.

If you do anything that makes you wonder whether you are mistreating yourself, you probably are, and you should definitely bring this to your therapist's attention.

I think you should try to tell him. It's not manipulative to tell him you're struggeling. It's his job to help you. Would it be manipulative to ask a plumber to fix your sink? (Read that analogy somewhere else here on PC - Shame on me for stealing it...)

[Bipolarchic14]

I would bring it up if you want to change it.

[Hefalump]

Sometimes if I have something hard to disclose I write some of it down and give my T the paper so he knows roughly what I need to say. You could print out this post and show him that?

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by runlola72

I'm inclined to not mention this behavior to T because it's embarrassing. I don't harm myself with substance abuse or cutting, but I overeat, stay in bed a lot, self-soothe with sex more than I should. You wouldn't know any of this to look at me, except I think I do come across as depressed and anxious. The thought of bringing this up to T makes me feel really worried. For the sake of openness it would be good for him to know, but I'm worried it will be construed as manipulative or something. I'm not really totally sure what the point of telling him is. Plus it's just so, so embarrassing.

I seem to remember you being able to email your therapist (I am sorry if I am thinking of somebody else). When I have had things like this to talk to T about I am never able to bring it up. So I send her emails saying I am struggling with X issue but unable to bring it up in session so could she start the conversation. It works well for T and me..