My T is gone unexpectedly.. And I'm ok

She didn't spring it on me. I guess she emailed me the dates she would be out this fall ( she is Jewish, lots of holidays plus her son is having his Bar Mitzvah) and I missed one. So I just didn't know until she.mentioned it Wednesday.

Normally that would cause some serious distress for me--- I'm OK with her being gone if I'm mentally prepared, but OK short notice it really upsets me---, but maybe I'm finally developing a more secure attachment.

I've noticed a pattern of things settling down. I used to know she wouldn't answer most of my.emails but it really upset . now I feel OK about it most of the time. She DID reply to the three really urgent emails I've sent in the past month. And I KNOW she reads and remembers stuff--- sometimes she will mention something I wrote months ago.

I've noticed a pattern with texting too. I used to ask "do you still love me? Etc". But now its "you are always sending me love, right?" And if she doesn't reply I feel more confident that she will when she can.

We went through a really painful rupture last month. I invited her to my wedding. It took her a month to decide if she would come or not and she finally decided she would not. She insisted she wanted to but felt there was too much unknown risk.of course I took it very hard and personally. After a lot of discussion, she finally suggested maybe she come to the farm before the wedding to see my horses all done up and see where we were doing the ceremony. And also to honor the day. She though THAT would be safe.

So we did it. And I was SHOCKED by how hard it was for kem I am STILL working through emotions from it and it was almost a month ago. I was also shocked by her obvious serious commitment to.our work.

I guess I realized she was RIGHT and it really wasn't about not wanting to but the fear of disrupting what we have. It also brought to the forefront how uniquely valuable
our relationship really is.

Maybe weathering that rupture secured something in me. I don't know
But I'm glad to just be going about my day without any drama about her being gone.

That sounds painful but ultimately healing Bay , and struck a chord with me on many levels. I wish you well for your wedding and your continued work with your T , she will be there in spirit if not in person.

The wedding was beautiful and so was my T's visit. It was so lovely having her meet my horses and see everything
.

That all sounds like really positive progress!! It cheers me to hear that, thank you.