[caal]

“There were nights when I left the sessions physically and emotionally drained after hearing the anguish pour out like blood from a gaping wound. Don’t let anyone ever tell you different – psychotherapy is one of the most taxing endeavors known to mankind; I’ve done all sorts of work, from picking carrots in the scorching sun to sitting on national committees in paneled board rooms, and there’s nothing that compares to confronting human misery hour after hour and bearing the responsibility for easing that misery using only one’s mind and mouth. At its best it’s tremendously uplifting as you watch the patient open up, breathe, let go of the pain. At its worst is like surfing in a cesspool struggling for balance while being slapped with wave after putrid wave.” ― Jonathan Kellerman, When the Bough Breaks

I know well the sound of an oncoming wave.

[here today]

How about the person in the cesspool ocean? And trying to swim and not to drown in it? Did I want someone to try to surf in it with me? Not really. Recognition -- not pity and disdain -- for the fact that I was in it, maybe. That it was not a choice. I had learned early in my life to dissociate from the s**t and not see it in the others around me, either. And so psychologists early in my life had advised me to "get in touch with my feelings". Eventually I fell in -- thinking/believing that was the new "right" thing to do, to find myself, to get "better".

Only to find therapists disdaining me for those very feelings. Well, yes, if it feels to someone like they are being slapped in the face with a putrid wave, maybe they do end up feeling disdain. But -- here's surprise, maybe -- the person in the cesspool ocean can still pick up on that. Do psychologists think that is likely to be helpful to the person?

Sorry, but I'm not particularly sympathetic or admiring of the taxing endeavors of the psychologist. Instead, is there any way for them to learn to work smarter? For this ex-client, I think that would have helped a lot more.

[lucozader]

Oh, I interpreted this as being about the experience of the client - and was very moved by it.

Having read it again, I guess it isn't - and in that case I find it quite disturbing, actually. Interesting that I made that interpretation, though.

I think it's because my last session really did feel like some of the hardest work I've ever done.

[BudFox]

Sounds like martyr complex. God complex too.

[feralkittymom]

Well, it is fiction, after all. Kellerman hasn't practiced in years and has pretty much phoned in his last dozen mysteries. (Though I think this quote is from his first mystery.)

[stopdog]

I kind of like the idea of slapping the woman with wave after putrid wave. Certainly she will never get the benefit of being uplifted by me. She gets paid - she does not get anything else from me.

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by here today

How about the person in the cesspool ocean? And trying to swim and not to drown in it? Did I want someone to try to surf in it with me? Not really. Recognition -- not pity and disdain -- for the fact that I was in it, maybe. That it was not a choice. I had learned early in my life to dissociate from the s**t and not see it in the others around me, either. And so psychologists early in my life had advised me to "get in touch with my feelings". Eventually I fell in -- thinking/believing that was the new "right" thing to do, to find myself, to get "better".

Only to find therapists disdaining me for those very feelings. Well, yes, if it feels to someone like they are being slapped in the face with a putrid wave, maybe they do end up feeling disdain. But -- here's surprise, maybe -- the person in the cesspool ocean can still pick up on that. Do psychologists think that is likely to be helpful to the person?

Sorry, but I'm not particularly sympathetic or admiring of the taxing endeavors of the psychologist. Instead, is there any way for them to learn to work smarter? For this ex-client, I think that would have helped a lot more.

Jonathan Kellerman is a psychologist and an author. In his novel When the Bough Breaks, is it Kellerman or Alex Delaware who is making the claims about how hard it is to be a therapist? I'd venture to say that his fictional character is making those claims. As such, take it with a grain of salt; it's a work of FICTION.

[here today]

Originally Posted by coolibrarian

Jonathan Kellerman is a psychologist and an author. In his novel When the Bough Breaks, is it Kellerman or Alex Delaware who is making the claims about how hard it is to be a therapist? I'd venture to say that his fictional character is making those claims. As such, take it with a grain of salt; it's a work of FICTION.

Huh? Whether it is a real psychologist or fictional psychologist who expressed the sentiments that were quoted, they are enough like what real psychologists in my experience have said. And demonstrated. So -- what does a grain of salt have to do with it?

Or -- is that intended as a putdown or something similar, a way to try to argue against or invalidate my point of view? As I mentioned in my post, I didn't even see that kind of thing for a very long time so please forgive if I got it wrong in this case.

[stopdog]

Those people greatly overstate both their importance in the world and that it is difficult to just sit there.

[Ididitmyway]

I have to confess. I laughed when I read it . Very dramatic and theatrical regardless of whether it's a fiction or a "real" view. I don't really see any difference as fiction often expresses authors real views.

[Fuzzybear]

Disdain from "therapists" ...

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by here today

Huh? Whether it is a real psychologist or fictional psychologist who expressed the sentiments that were quoted, they are enough like what real psychologists in my experience have said. And demonstrated. So -- what does a grain of salt have to do with it?

Or -- is that intended as a putdown or something similar, a way to try to argue against or invalidate my point of view? As I mentioned in my post, I didn't even see that kind of thing for a very long time so please forgive if I got it wrong in this case.

I absolutely did not mean this as a put-down. And I stand by my original question. Who said this, the author or the character? It is entirely possible that it was the character and NOT the author. Writers of fiction don't have to have the same beliefs as their characters.

[feralkittymom]

It's the character. When Kellerman did still practice he apparently specialized in violent children. I guess he wrote a fairly well-considered textbook on the subject. If I remember this plot, it involves a murderous child. The character is a consultant hired by police departments and others in the legal system. But, being fiction, he's also an amateur detective.

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by coolibrarian

Writers of fiction don't have to have the same beliefs as their characters.

But fiction writers tend to write from experience. Novels are often significantly autobiographical. I'd wager that Kellerman did see himself as some sort of hero or martyr, sitting on his therapist throne and saving the world. Most therapists seem to.

There's also this:
"I write fiction because it's a way of making statements I can disown."
-- Tom Stoppard