[CantExplain]

Hi guys!

I don't expect anyone to come up with an answer. I guess what I'm hoping for is a "me too!" Anyway, here goes:

At least once a week, I feel down, and I ask myself: is this
(a) a real emotion that is part of my life, a response to actual events, and maybe trying to tell me something, or
(b) a fake emotion caused by chemical imbalance and a hint that I need to up my medication?

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Hi guys!

I don't expect anyone to come up with an answer. I guess what I'm hoping for is a "me too!" Anyway, here goes:

I felt better the moment I posted that.

[LadyShadow]

I try and ride out the emotion. And yes "me too" applies to a) a real emotion that is a part of my life and a response to actual events that is trying to tell me something.

As far as the "fake" emotions go, I don't believe any emotion is fake, I think its all real, and I ride those out too because I don't want to go messing with medications. To me medications is not the "fix it" for everything. It's meant to just help so you can better deal with yourself.

[atisketatasket]

When I feel down there's almost always a trigger (a). But (b) might make dealing with triggers worse. So both?

[leejosepho]

I sometimes just sit as quietly as possible while knowing something beyond my current knowledge base is being felt, going on, experienced or whatever.

There is a difference between emotion and mood. I've learned there are times when my mood fluctuates that don't necessarily have an inciting event. Sometimes it is hormonal. Sometimes it is fatigue. Sometimes I'm just bored. So, while there may not be something that has caused me to feel depressed or anxious, I can at least do something to deal with the mood state I am experiencing: rest, exercise, accept it will simply pass sometimes.

Other times I have emotions that are really a reaction to something going on: I'm angry or sad or anxious about something I can identify. I've learned if I can put my finger on what has caused the emotion, then I can decide how best to deal with it.

For me, understanding that sometimes it is just mood fluctuations that will pass given enough time, I can just let the mood be what it is or do something to offset it and ride it out. They do feel a bit different, and understanding the difference has been helpful for me. Honestly, I've found "emotions" in reaction to actual events easier to deal with because they are easier to problem solve while mood fluctuations are more frustrating because I sometimes feel at their will. Realizing I can do things to work through those mood states has helped though.

All emotions are biochemical reactions and that is all they are. It helps me immensely to be aware of that.

[Argonautomobile]

I like Lolagrace's distinction between emotions and mood. When my mood is poor I try to do something I know will help like taking a walk or eating a ****ing vegetable for once. I think sunlight and fish help, too.

I take all emotions (real, fake, whatever) and suppress them. I distract myself from the resulting stomach ulcer by naming things in alphabetical order and watching reality television.

[awkwardlyyours]

I'm not currently on meds (although folks have said I need to be but that's a different issue) and so, can't speak to the second part of (b).

But, I'm not sure I can make the distinction between real and fake anyhow -- the same event may not trigger an emotion in someone else or may trigger a very different emotion than the one triggered in me. In that case, what's real and what's fake?

For instance, for me, "happy" events actually send me into an awful spiral. Those awful emotions are totally 'real' by your definition i.e., caused by actual events -- I would not be feeling that awful if said happy thing hadn't happened.

And, yet those emotions are also totally 'fake' (again, by your definition) because they are a product of my messed-up brain chemistry (I mean one has to be a particular type of biochemically screwed-up to immediately think of kicking the bucket when good stuff happens).

All of that before even we get into discussing the intensity of the emotion vs. the type of emotion itself -- E.g. Can we say that joy is a different emotion from ecstasy? If an event triggers ecstasy in me but mere joy in someone else, would that be a case of my brain's chemistry being messed-up or is the emotion 'real' i.e., triggered by a specific event but just that the intensity could be considered out of whack?

This isn't a hypothetical example in my case by the way -- former T (bless her soul) would get really irritated with me and point out how I seemed to have no moderation in my emotions (she was the one who said I only seemed to feel something akin to ecstasy when it came to positive stuff and not mere joy i.e., ecstasy is a different emotion than joy and the one is 'real' while the other is not).

[unaluna]

This concept is what finally convinced me to take meds for my pms/pmdd - i was just as broke and pitifully underemployed one day to the next, but one day i was mortally depressed about it, and the next i was ecstatically carefree. So i finally realized it wasnt the actual financial circumstances that were good, that my baseline should probably be seen as the low, not the high. And that maybe i should try to do stg about it.

[Cyllya]

I found myself wondering this a lot lately.

It's pretty hard to tell the difference, because the fake ones usually aren't 100% fake. There's usually some kind of situational trigger, it's just that the emotional response is disproportionate to that trigger.

Even when you can't tell the difference, it's still useful to acknowledge the distinction. Just knowing that your emotion could be wrong will help you avoid any hasty decisions you'll regret when you're saner.

The CBT practice of "challenging automatic thoughts" is kind of related to this. (Informative PDF here.)

I think this is also one of the numerous things referred to as "mindfulness," but since that word get slapped all over everything, it's hard to search for any resources through that angle.

[ruh roh]

Me too.

Not really, but I wanted to support you in this. I think bad gut health contributes to a lot of emotional stuff, especially depression. No more meds for me. As for situational emotions, yeah--that happens too, but biology probably determines a lot of how intensely one responds, so I get back to gut health again. It's a brain after all, and produces more serotonin than the one in our heads. When I feel better physically, I do better emotionally.

[MBM17]

ME TOO.

I have to do this all the time (and I really mean all the time) because of bipolar. Bipolar messes with my moods. It's unpredictable, so it's nearly impossible to know what's real and what's fake. I have to ask the people around me to figure out what's really happening so I know what a reasonable emotional response would be so I can know if my response is normal emotion or if it's bipolar.

I hate it. I hate being unable to trust the way my brain perceives the world. At the most fundamental level, my brain messes with my life.

I have to constantly ask myself, "Is this emotion justified? Is this my emotion or is it bipolar?" It's usually bipolar making my emotions WAAAAAAY bigger. I ask myself,
should I be this angry?
does this much sadness fit this situation?
is it normal in this situation to feel this happy?
is she really that angry at me or am I assuming things or interpreting her expression wrong?

And I ask my mom and husband the same things.
is she really mad at me? it feels like she hates me.
i feel like he abandoned me. did he really abandon me?
my whole life is hopeless and dark. at least, it feels that way. is that right?
i can't breathe and can't stop moving and i'm panicked and there's so much to do and i need to work faster to get it all done and i'll never get it done this is hopeless (at which point they jump in and pull me back to truth)

That's how I try to tell the difference.

But ME TOO.

[cinnamon_roll]

Originally Posted by Cyllya

It's pretty hard to tell the difference, because the fake ones usually aren't 100% fake. There's usually some kind of situational trigger, it's just that the emotional response is disproportionate to that trigger.

For me, those "disproportionate" emotional responses, are quite often echoes from the past. A very real and very present trigger sets me off. In my working model it's quite often an emotional response from younger times, which might or might not have been adequate at the time. But it was suppressed or not even acknowledged when I was younger.

Finding and recognizing the distinction between those emotions from here & today and those from the past has been pretty helpful for me.