So, I am a college student majoring in photography. I have been going to therapy with my current therapist for about 2 years now. This semester, I am working on a photography project on documenting the bond between people and their pets. I wanted to ask my therapist if she knows anyone who has animals that I could photograph for my project, and I wanted to ask her if she could bring one of her dogs to work with her on a day when i had a therapy session with her so I could possibly take pictures of her and her dog. My therapist always encourages me to take pictures. I have improved a lot recently to the point where we went from therapy once a week to once every 2 weeks. So, I called her yesterday to ask her those questions I mentioned above. Her response was, "I cannot think of anyone off the top of my head, but if I think of anyone I will call you back." and "No, I cannot think of a time when I would be available. I am going out of town soon and and getting ready for that, and I am booked for when I come back. But thanks for the offer tough." After getting off the phone, I thought "Was it inappropriate for me to ask her that? Did I just cross a boundary? Will she terminate working with me for me asking her that even though she said as long as I am improving and coping she will keep working with me?" We have our next 2 sessions booked, but I am afraid that she might cancel them. But I keep telling myself "There is no harm in asking a simple question." "I have never crossed a boundary before." "I will apologize for asking her that if it was inapproiate." "If it was a problem, she would have mentioned it right then and there."

I am unsure of what might come of this... My anxiety has spiked because of it and I am trying to cope with it and reassure myself that I am probably thinking irrationally. My therapist always calls me out on my mistakes when they first occur. And I am sure she would have if there was a problem but I am not certain, as people can be unpredictable. I figured there was no harm in asking as I did not care if the answer was no. And I will mention that to her when I apologize to her for asking her that the next time I see her this upcoming Thursday.

What are your thoughts on this? How should I go about telling her I meant no harm by asking her that?

[divine1966]

As a professional she knows you meant no harm. When you see her next time you could discuss it in more detail

[scorpiosis37]

I think it was ok to ask her, but her professional boundaries necessitated that she say no. I don't think it's a big deal and I don't think there is ANY chance she will terminate you over it. Don't worry!!!

[MickeyCheeky]

I don't think she will cancel anything

[Crazy Hitch]

I think you'll be fine moving forward with your therapist.

Have you thought of advertising in your local paper for a free photo session with owners and their pets?

[healingme4me]

I don't see this as overstepping any lines. And the replies from your T seem in line with responses that you might receive from anyone else, not just a therapist.

I do feel it would make a good topic of discussion with your next appointment as to how it felt, how you reacted internally and the worries and anxiety that the responses brought to the forefront of your mind.

I don't think you did anything wrong or overstepped a boundary.

Think of it this way.

Clients don't always know where boundary lines are, and that is ok.

Its up to the therapist to set their own boundaries.

Could this have been too close for comfort for your therapist?

Perhaps.

But also perhaps not.

Every therapist is different.

I think if she terminated because you crossed an unknown boundary, then she isn't that great of a therapist to begin with.

You asked, she said no. ------> This is the essence of boundary setting.

If you continued to push, THEN I'd say there was a problem.

But really, you asked a question and you were told "no". There is nothing wrong with asking a question. I really do think its good that you asked because now you know where your therapist stands.

I think there would only be a problem if you stepped over the boundary now that you know where your therapist stands. Hugs.

I don't think there will be any recriminations or repercussions. But I am unlike the others here in that I don't believe these requests appropriate for a professional relationship. I would have left it at "I am interested in photgraphing pets" and allowed them to pick-up the conversation from there if they were interested.

[doogie]

I think it's fine to ask, too. It's her responsibility to keep up the boundaries. Even if she had to say no due to boundaries, I don't think there would be any reason for her to "punish" you for it. In fact, I would think she would be flattered (whether she feels she can say so or not).

You didnt do anything wrong. Everytning will be fun.

[luvnola]

I wouldn't think that asking a question is crossing a boundary. She said no bc that was her boundary, but it wasn't wrong to ask. I doubt anything would come of this.

[stopdog]

Asking a question is not crossing a boundary for anyone. Those people usually tell clients not to try an mind read. Anyone can answer no to a question. It does not make the asker bad for having asked.

[Teddy:)]

You are within your rights to ask, so I don't see it as a boundary crossing. If say you went to your T's house without her permission and took photos of her and her dogs then yes that is a crossing but there is no harm in asking a question, it is your T who decides the answer and you seem to be respecting her decision so I don't think there is any cause to be concerned or for her to cancel your upcoming appointment- a professional T would use the therapeutic session to address such issues as that for some is a big part of therapy, re correcting previously learnt behaviors

Thank you, for your responses, everyone! I had therapy with my therapist yesterday morning and apologized to her for my asking her that question, that I did not realize it was inappropriate until later in the day, and that it would never happen again. She told me it was fine that I asked, but it would not have been okay for her to have said yes but she did feel flattered that I asked her.

[BudFox]

I wouldn't feel bad about asking. Therapy is so freaking convoluted that most people do not know what is appropriate or not (apart from obvious stuff). In my experience the "rules", as it were, are mysterious and known only to the therapist.