[WrkNPrgress]

We all do it - okay a lot of us. We look up our T on Google, Facebook, or some other search engine . The general reasons are usually related to the need to feel close to them, or to feel some sort of control or connection over the 'blank slate' relationship.

Feel free to post in general terms, without going into any details. I'll go first:
Using her previous surname, which was on her old business card, I discovered some rather sad facts about my T's family history that I feel rather sheepish about knowing, even though it was all technically public information; it was a relative's obituary. Also, I've found a police report on that relative which, although it was restricted, the name of the offense showed the charge and I could quickly guess the struggles they had.

Has it affected my perspective of her? Yes, it made me terribly sad for her and I empathized with her own journey. It also shed some light on little things and passing comments she's lightly alluded to in therapy.

I don't Google my therapists beyond looking at information provided on my insurance website and their own professional websites as I do for any care provider. No reason to really. My therapists have always been pretty open with me about their family, interests, personal life, etc. I really haven't been curious beyond what they've shared with me.

[nottrustin]

Other than insurance related information and a facebook page that has a couple of pictures I have found nothing. T is pretty open about her family, select past, friends, and some of the struggles she has dealt with. I have also met her other significant other, he doesn't know I am a client. She told him that I am a friend through her previous job.

[atisketatasket]

As one who is not as pure as the driven snow, I once found one's childhood nickname (still used by her family). Which is a pretty weird nickname...but oddly appropriate for a therapist. Stopped looking there and then because I knew I would never top that.

I also found a picture of a different one incredibly drunk and possibly drugged at a younger age. I'll never top that one either - but I already knew she was a recovering alcoholic, so it wasn't a surprise.

[LonesomeTonight]

Well, that my marriage counselor's wife had passed away 2 weeks earlier...but I have a whole thread about that, so won't go into it here...

I'm starting with a new T next Wednesday. I haven't googled much of her. I googled my XT quite a bit in spurts. Sometimes I would do it a lot and other times not at all. She actually does not have a strong online presence. A Facebook page where all you can see is her profile picture. I know where she grew up because she told me. I know her kids names because she told me. I've met her young daughter in person one time because she brought her to the office when the child didn't go to school because she was not feeling well. XT shared some of her history with me so anything I know, I know because she told me. It's very difficult to find much online about her. We will see how curious I get about this new T. Although honestly-my focus won't be on making a connection with her. All I want is for her to help me figure out solutions to some situational issues. My searches on XT were all about
Connection.

[stopdog]

I have pretty much only looked up their professional stuff - license, schools they went to, criminal record check, licensing board complaints- that sort of thing. I am not certain what I would think was odder to find out about a therapist than other people. I think most other people are odd and I completely believe therapists are no different from anyone else aside from their questionable career choice.

[ruh roh]

When I was looking for a therapist this last time, I was looking closer to home at first, but wanted to make sure that no one shared an office with a previous horrible therapist. In doing that, I discovered that previous horrible therapist had died and that her only child left a comment on the obit, asking dead therapist why she never contacted him about her illness (which apparently went on for some time) and why she did not let him into her life. And I was like, Yay! I'm not the only one she was an a**h**le to. I mean, I feel badly for her son, but it was a relief to know that she was just a rotten person in general and that it wasn't necessarily only about me.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

When I was looking for a therapist this last time, I was looking closer to home at first, but wanted to make sure that no one shared an office with a previous horrible therapist. In doing that, I discovered that previous horrible therapist had died and that her only child left a comment on the obit, asking dead therapist why she never contacted him about her illness (which apparently went on for some time) and why she did not let him into her life. And I was like, Yay! I'm not the only one she was an a**h**le to. I mean, I feel badly for her son, but it was a relief to know that she was just a rotten person in general and that it wasn't necessarily only about me.

Oh, wow! That's a pretty rough thing to leave on an obit...but I can understand feeling better that it wasn't about you.

Nothing beyond her psychologytoday.com profile. She told me a long time ago that she's vigilant about staying off the internet.

I've never Googled a therapist to find private information.

I'm super private myself and don't like having an internet presence so I don't google people.

I do criminal background checks on men but that's a different can of worms and just being smart in today's day and age.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by GoldenWaves

I do criminal background checks on men but that's a different can of worms and just being smart in today's day and age.

I'm not questioning the wisdom of this, although such a search would not have shown that either of my two husbands had problems, or a sexually predatory former boyfriend, so it's hardly a guarantor against trouble. But, had I Googled them, I would have gotten lots of warnings that didn't show up on a criminal background check, but which were still useful information.

I would Google anyone I was about to get intimate with, from physical (romantic partner) to psychological (therapist).

[kecanoe]

I saw in an obituary that he was listed without a wife. That surprised me (he got married to her maybe 5 years before that). And then a woman that he (apparently) is now seeing came up on my "people you may know" list on FB. We shared two people as FB friends that are really unlike each other, I clicked on her name because I was curious. And there was a picture of t with her. Yikes. I didn't send her a friend request. I actually feel worse about him being divorced a second time. I am not sure what to make of that.

[granite1]

my T has no online presence at all except her lic information. so i know when she got lic and her home address that is it

[growlycat]

Old t Sparky actually has a YouTube video!! It is a hilariously dorky membership drive video for the behavioral health organization he is a longtime member of. He has this silly banter with a younger female member. The joke is that they are both looking for new members and younger lady insinuates that some members are like house guests that never leave. Sparky does the slow head turn thing and passive aggressively suggests that some members are kooky and aren't serious about science. He also has a Twitter feed that is almost entirely rants against trump (go sparky!!)

New t Kashi has a psych today profile that makes him look like a twelve year old in his dad's suit. The pic shows him in what is close to a fifties style buzz cut. His whole look in his profile photo is nothing what he actually looks like. He now has neck length silver brown hair and he is more broad shouldered and solidly built than his beanpole pic. He gives good bear hugs.

Kashi also has an old Twitter feed that says that cars with Christian bumper stickers confuse him when they drive like the antichrist. Some pic of a sitar music session he went to once. Stuff that reassured me he was an odd Texas hippie.

[retro_chic]

Most of the stuff I have found out about T has been through her husband's FB which I found by searching one of the T's that works in the same offices as my T. I saw in her friend's list there was someone with the same first name as my T but a different last name. I then saw there was a male with the same last name too who's profile was much less private than the female's and found photos of my T and who I now knew was her husband and two daughters. I figured out that T works under her maiden name. They seem really normal and happy. I also found her husband's youtube channel which has some old home videos from about 5 years ago and T is in some of them. They're really cute actually. I feel like a massive creeper finding all this stuff though.

[rainboots87]

Accidentally found former T's husband's band's myspace. I was searching for professional info on her, a random band page came up and lo and behold, it was her husband! There was a picture of them that someone commented on, which is why is came on on the first page of google. Have also found pics of her out with friends, pics of her kids (posted on fb by professional photog), birthdate, relative's obituaries- which then gave her kids' names. Oh, I think on page 2 of google, her address came up since she is a homeowner. So, technically I knew where she lived, but I would never in a million years invade her real life physical space.

Current one, her birthdate and who her bf is- stuff about his college activities from his fb page.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Old t Sparky actually has a YouTube video!! It is a hilariously dorky membership drive video for the behavioral health organization he is a longtime member of. He has this silly banter with a younger female member. The joke is that they are both looking for new members and younger lady insinuates that some members are like house guests that never leave. Sparky does the slow head turn thing and passive aggressively suggests that some members are kooky and aren't serious about science. He also has a Twitter feed that is almost entirely rants against trump (go sparky!!)

New t Kashi has a psych today profile that makes him look like a twelve year old in his dad's suit. The pic shows him in what is close to a fifties style buzz cut. His whole look in his profile photo is nothing what he actually looks like. He now has neck length silver brown hair and he is more broad shouldered and solidly built than his beanpole pic. He gives good bear hugs.

Kashi also has an old Twitter feed that says that cars with Christian bumper stickers confuse him when they drive like the antichrist. Some pic of a sitar music session he went to once. Stuff that reassured me he was an odd Texas hippie.

OK, the stuff about Kashi is too funny! You really found a diamond in the rough there in TX... The Sparky stuff is pretty funny, too.

A while back, I did actually find a couple YouTube videos with marriage counselor, for a website on parenting teens, since they're his specialty. They weren't particularly exciting, but it was a bit weird because they were in his (I guess now former) office, and he was wearing a shirt and tie I recognized. He also wasn't wearing his glasses for it. And he was being entirely too serious.

[MobiusPsyche]

I found an obit for her father that had family names in it. I did not Google any further after I found that.

It hasn't impacted our relationship except that I need to remember that I'm not "supposed" to know that her parents are both deceased. I hate that but it is the price I pay for having Googled too much. She has shared everything else I found out from the obit (location of birth, number of siblings, etc.).

It made me feel farther away from her. I had thought reading it would make me feel closer but I was wrong.

[growlycat]

Thanks LT! I definitely like the sound of your MC. Some t's that people talk about on PC are horrifying but yours is a keeper. There are only one or two other t's mentioned on PC that I could imagine myself seeing and hitting it off.

I love quirky t's. They make me smile- they are all just human after all.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Besides the common stuff like pictures off of fb, professional website, etc., I found a blog she was writing. There I found a really personal bit of information, too personal to even write it here. I feel horrible for knowing.

[Pennster]

My therapist has lots of stuff online, and he's also really open in person. He's got a big professional social media presence, and he also does a lot of interviews and podcasts and things like that, as well as books he's written. I have read some of his books and listened to some of the things that interest me, but there's actually way more out there than I have any desire to know. I did find out one personal fact that upset me (because of my own issues with this one thing) but we talked about it and it was fine in the end. But he's got so much of his life online - his orientation isn't about a blank slate at all. Plus he used to have a different career, totally unrelated to therapy, and it was something that was public and involved many press appearances.
I'm pretty sure he'd be open to a conversation about anything he's got out there.

[annielovesbacon]

My ex T I found lots of things, like her anniversary, her husband's facebook account, pictures of her dog, stats from when she played sports in college, etc. Probably the most personal is a picture of her and her friend on the beach (in bikinis, naturally) while she was in college.
I haven't googled my current T as extensively (did most of my googling of my ex T after we terminated and I missed her), but I have googled her a bit. So far the most personal thing I've found is her voting record.

[rainbow8]

The most personal thing I found was something T wrote about herself for an art show. It was about anger and loss in her life. There was a four letter word that shocked me too. I was moved and filled with compassion for her after I read it. I told her and we discussed it.

I've actually learnt something today from T herself, that's more personal than any details online.