[Loco4]

I've been feeling really hurt by something my T did recently. I'm a little nervous about seeing her this week. Have you been hurt by your T before? Did you work through it?

[chasse]

I am so sorry to hear that T has hurt you. if you feel comfortable to share what happend you will find some listening ears here.

My T hurt me once she carelessly said that my family had a lot of drama going on and used the words sideshow, circus kind of words to descibe it and I got offended and expected T to understand how i felt and it wasnt until i was able to share with her how she made me feel that I began to work through the process. and now i am meant to tell her straight away if i feel hurt but it takes longer.

I've been hurt by my T twice. I ended up drafting a note, going in and reading it. Then T and I talked about the rupture

[Loco4]

I'm going through a hard time at the moment and I asked T if I could contact her between session. She was okay with it, but when I reached out she seemed to hurry it along. I also shared some worries that she will abandon me and she wouldn't reassure me. She just kept asking me what I think I needed. I was not in the headspace to be so direct.

I was so sad after the call ended since then my life seems to have gotten so much harder to deal with. I felt like I this was a time I needed her most and she wasn't there for me.

[captgut]

I've been hurt by my T once, and it was terrible. Like the only person I trust betrayed me. Of course I forgived him, because he can't be perfect all the time.
We've discussed this situation. Please, tell your T about your feelings too! It's important both for you and her

[Eleny]

My T once paraphrased how I felt about my Mam by saying "that annoying old bag" and it hurt, I'd never speak about my Mam like that

My T once compared my Dad to Jeffrey Dahmer.It was so very hurtful.We did eventually work through it by talking about it though.His explanation was he just wanted me to see my Dad for who and how he really was and I thought it was too cruel and extreme and not necessary.

It's best to talk to your T about it,whether you agree with their excuse or not.

[LonesomeTonight]

I've been hurt by both my T and marriage counselor. In each case, I let them know, whether via e-mail or phone call. And then we'd talk about it in session (and/or on the phone). It sometimes would take multiple sessions to really work through it. I was tempted to walk away a couple times, but I think working through it has led to stronger working relationships. And it's also good practice for working through things like that in real life. So I'd definitely talk to your T about it and explain why you're hurt.

[Moment]

I think some of the most important moments of therapy come when you tell your therapist about something they did that hurt, angered, upset, saddened you--whatever.
It's normal to be nervous about talking about it because you're taking a risk, being vulnerable and honest. But so important to do it!

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by Terish

My T once compared my Dad to Jeffrey Dahmer.It was so very hurtful.We did eventually work through it by talking about it though.His explanation was he just wanted me to see my Dad for who and how he really was and I thought it was too cruel and extreme and not necessary.

It's best to talk to your T about it,whether you agree with their excuse or not.

my T has said some things about my dad that bother me. my dad died when i was young and was abusive. i still love him though because he was my DAD. i dont think T should judge him.

but then again i felt the same when T would say mean things about my former T. now i just laugh and agree. its different though, in my mind. my dad isnt here to talk about it with or defend himself. i feel like i must be loyal

[junkDNA]

my T has hurt me. not intentionally. i usually bring it up to him. and we talk about it, and he will apologize. im glad he doesnt get defensive and tries to therapize it, making it about me and my 'issues'. sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!!!

Yes, my first T sometimes said some really selfish and hurtful things. We had lots of conflicts in the end. Most of the time I would respond right back but not always. In the end I left him because I did not find him helpful and a few of those things were never discussed. I talked about some of it with the T I saw afterward but I mostly just let go of it.

[thesnowqueen]

When I was a lot younger I was seeing this one T. While seeing her I started going out with this guy 20 years older than me who turned out to be really egocentric and occasionally quite nasty. Once I was speaking to her about breaking up with him and she said "well, at this stage guys aren't exactly crawling out of the woodwork for you." (I was in my mid 20s and she in her 60s!)

When I brought it up at the next session she DENIED having said that. And unbelievably I just let it go and continued seeing her.

[kecanoe]

Yes, but not intentionally. Just a couple of times over 10 years. For me, that is in the acceptable range.

Perhaps your t was pressed for time but didn't want to seem to ignore you. Reading on this forum has made me aware that people mean very different things by "outside contact". Perhaps you could ask t to explain what she is willing/able to do.

[Out There]

Yes , all my T's at one time or another. One I terminated in the second session. The others I talked to about what was happening and it got resolved. It's painful but healing to do it - but it hits something painful when it happens and we do feel hurt.

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by Loco4

I've been feeling really hurt by something my T did recently. I'm a little nervous about seeing her this week. Have you been hurt by your T before? Did you work through it?

Yes. In the beginning of my therapy, I would be angry and hold a grudge and I might not talk about it for weeks. For the last few years, however, if I am angry by something she says or does, I take a breath and talk to her about it right away.

[stopdog]

There has never been a working through -but I do directly tell the woman how she fails.